The Brain, The Rich Always Live On

In 1953 a creepy but effective horror film came out called "Donovan's Brain."  That movie was created out of the same screenplay as today's British film, 1962's "The Brain."  Both black and white films dwell on the same subject.  Both do it swimmingly well.  Today's entry is a dark one without humor or wit with a bunch of characters that are all unlikable. Let us delve into this Freddie Francis film that does differentiate itself from the former one in the second half.

Max Holt, an evil international financier is murdered when a bomb goes off on his private jet.  Who would want to murder him?  Everyone that knew him.  Wait!  He survives the explosion and crash.  Kind of.  Mad scientist Dr. Peter Corrie (Peter van Eyck), his assistants Frank (Bernard Lee) and the sultry Ella (Ellen Schwiers) hear about the crash and race to the site. There, Peter detects a pulse from Max Holt and brings him back to his lab.  Uh oh...Peter has an ulterior motive for treating him. Max is going to die soon.  The cops are on the way, this trio did call them. See, Peter is experimenting in keeping a brain alive after the body dies.  Max does die and Peter and his assistants remove the brain, put it in a tank, sew the head back up, and give the corpse to the cops when they arrive.

Now Max live son...kind of.  His brain is still working in the big fish tank. Uh oh...it telepathically communicates to Peter. Actually it possesses him. Now Peter, at times, is indeed the evil industrialist trying to solve his own  murder.  Peter goes to Max' mansion and meets his sultry daughter, Anna (Anne Heywood), and lunatic son Martin (Jeremy Spencer). Both hated Max. Max and Peter's body goes to chat with his business associates and lawyers, all had motive to murder him. Peter is handsome and persuasive, even without being possessed by Max. He finds Max' old mistress, Marion (Maxine Audley). Marion is about to tell him the secret of this mystery but is murdered in mid-sentence.  This happens again and again leaving the mystery unsolved.  Now Peter, or Max, become more persuasive and soon he appears to be onto his own killer.

Everyone in this film is the bad guy. The women in the film are all sultry brunettes. Martin, the artist, is certifiable but kind of lovable. Will Max solve his own murder or be  murdered again? Will Peter get it on with Anna in her period of fake mourning? Is the real killer necessarily an evil character, or did Max have it coming? Creepy and deep.  The ending will leave you with some important moral questions. See "The Brain," and then go see "Donovan's Brain." Two outstanding films.    

Red Velvet, Telling a Slasher Story

Little Elliott isn't so cute anymore. The little kid from "E.T." is all grown up and Drew Barrymore isn't even in his scope. Today we look at a fine slasher film, though it is a film that will not receive much love.  True, experienced horror-philes will see exactly where this one is going. However, the babe factor is off the charts and the prurient element in this slasher film is sky-high, too.  In one of those "what's real and what isn't films, there will be plenty of gore and deviant sex. Today's feature is 2008's "Red Velvet," directed by Bruce Dickson.

Aaron (Henry Thomas) is frustrated. He's trying to concentrate but his neighbors, the sultry Linda (Kelli Garner) and her BF Kyle (Jordan Hagan) are having another knock down drag out fight. Linda runs off with her laundry to the laundromat. Aaron follows and meets her there. He is ticked at her and the two seem to detest one another. Eventually, Aaron realizes Linda is quite a dish and offers her lunch at a neighboring Thai restaurant. At the restaurant, the duo have a hot Asian waitress (Dina Morishita). No more about her other than her role is hardly insignificant. The two are sarcastic with one another and Aaron lets Linda know he is a good story teller. Linda tells Aaron that she should be at a b-day party at a secluded mountain lake with all her hot friends. Aaron then, with goading from Linda, makes up a story of that party she is missing.

Aaron concocts a slasher story, and a brutal one. There will be gory murders, skinny-dipping, sweaty deviant sex, and imaginative kills. Linda's hot sister Pat (Cristen Coppen) seems to star in his story. Other babes are Amy (Natalia Baron), and Jenny (Michele Nordin). The b-day party is for Pat's maybe BF Frank (Bret Roberts), who may be gay...don't ask. There are a few more hunks, none will fare well. There will also be a crocodile in one heck of a kill scene. The babes will get sweaty and naked fast. Aaron realizes Linda needs cheering up and a dose of self-confidence.  Linda is vulnerable and fears returning to an abusive BF back at her apartment. Sexual tension erupts between the two neighbors.  Then...well, it'll surprise most of you.

Will Linda pay dearly for developing a liking to her obnoxious neighbor?  Just what is Aaron's real attraction to his hot neighbor?  Is what is going on at the mountain lake really a fictionalized story? You'll see.  Kelli Garner is sultry in her role as the vulnerable Linda and Henry Thomas is unhinged as the grouchy neighbor.  For a prurient, gory, and naked-babe filled slasher film see "Red Velvet."    

Amuck! Sexual Deviance and Murder

Giallo! Can't beat it.  It's allure.  It's gore.  It's bad dubbing. It's sweaty nakedness. The most beautiful of Europe's Euro-Babes die so horribly in these films, many times in states of undress and in the throes of carnal relations. Today we have a classic Giallo film hitting all the tropes.  Our feature today is 1972's "Amuck!" This film, directed by Silvia Amadio, relies on deviant sexual practices and orgies...much like today's Washington, DC power brokers and Big Hollywood.

Greta (Barbara Bouchet) gets a job as the secretary for novelist Richard (Farley Granger). She's a doll!  Loves wearing tight stuff and miniskirts.  Richard has a nymphomaniac, bisexual wife, Eleanora (Rosalba Neri).  She takes a lustful liking to Greta. Okay, Greta is on a personal mission.  Her bestie Sally (Patrizia Viotti) was the former secretary of Richard and went missing while in his employment.  She sent Greta letters hinting at sexual deviance and being pulled into bacchanal lifestyles. Greta wants to find out what happened to her friend...and is also very aroused and curious about this bacchanal lifestyle hinted at by Sally. Early on, Eleanora will drug Greta, undress her, and have wild lesbian sex with Greta.  Is Greta a willing participant?  Richard also seems to fall in love with her.

Greta snoops and soon Richard and Eleanora realize she has a motive apart from typing up Stuart's manuscripts.  Eleanora will include Greta in orgies and even invite a brute fisherman (Petar Martinovitch) who loves strangling babes. Eleanora displays a sensual side toward Greta and Greta allows her, either figuring information will be gotten from her easier...or she likes it. Richard feeds Greta clues in the form of his manuscripts, or is he just luring Greta to her doom?  The nakedness, bacchanal carnality, and murder will explode off the screen.

Does Greta really want to solve her buddy's disappearance or is she looking to join a bacchanal lifestyle? Will Eleanora or Richard try to murder Greta while in the throes of passion? Just what necessitated Sally's disappearance?  This one will send you to the showers.  Erotic as any Giallo offering, "Amuck!" highlights the attributes, all the attributes, of Ms. Neri and Ms. Bouchet nicely.

Cinderella's Revenge, Fairy Tale Slasher

Okay, Natasha Henstridge is an ageless beauty. The sultry star of "Species" and "Ghost of Mars" is the Fairy Godmother in today's feature. She has a wand, will summon Elon Musk and Vidal Sassoon, and corrupt Cinderella into becoming a mad slasher. The Prince will have a few surprises coming when he seeks the owner of a glass slipper left at his ball...very erotic surprises, too. Intrigued?  Today we look at 2024's "Cinderella's Revenge," directed by Andy Edwards.

Cinderella (Lauren Staerck) is beset by an evil stepmother, Katherine (Stephanie Lodge), and two brutal step sisters, Rachel (Megan Purvis) and Josephine (Beatrice Fletcher). As the film begins, Katherine has murdered Cinderella's dad (Mike Kelson). Now Cinderella is an abused servant, ripe for torture and whipping. The Prince (Darrell Griggs) sends invites to every nubile babe in the kingdom. He will throw a ball and select a wife from the talent pool that shows up. Rachel and Josephine will attend, as will their mother. Cinderella is left home to do chores...enter the Fairy Godmother.  Miss Henstridge portrays a contemporary Fairy Godmother and summons up history's best fashion designers to design Cinderella's wardrobe and even Elon Musk to drive her to the mall in an EV.

Cinderella captures the affections of the Prince, but Katherine and her two daughters are seething mad. Midnight arrives, and Cinderella has to run away.  Once Katherine and the evil step sisters arrive home, they torture and pummel Cinderella. Enter the Fairy Godmother with an idea.  Revenge.  Bloody revenge. The babe fairy provides the means and now Cinderella's enemies are shredded.  Gutting, disembowelment, and pummeling await the wrath of everyone's favorite fairy tale damsel. This one will get quite gory.  The ending? Ha!  You can figure it out, especially if you know the fairy tale.  There is one not quite slight deviation. What happens in the marital bed after the wedding will leave you wincing and aroused.

Do Katherine, Rachel, or Josephine have a prayer at making it to the end credits?  How can we get fairy godmothers like Natasha Henstridge?  Did the Prince bite off more than he could chew in selecting a Cinderella coming to terms with her...dark side?  This one is a lot of fun and not too different from the actual fairy tale, before it was toned down for children.  See "Cinderella's Revenge" and enjoy Natasha Henstridge.

Below, Young Love and a Bull Shark

I know, this one won't get a lot of love. I'll just say it...I loved this film!  An outlandish plot. A big shark that eats a lot of people. Bikini babes. Hunks (well, a bit milquetoast, but we'll call them "hunks").  A love story between a hot blonde and a dweeb.  As improbable as this plot may be, it is infinitely more probable than those wretched "Star Wars" films...and that stupid "Mandalorian" garbage. Our film today is 2023's "Below," directed by Robin Christian.

All right!  Here goes. Lance (Logan Borsari) is a dweeb.  He's trying, and not very well, to use SCUBA gear in a remote reservoir. The milquetoast hunk-wannabe spots Annabel (Audra Schildhouse) sunbathing on a raft in the middle of this lake.  She's in a nice bikini. Many years ago, at summer camp, the two were one another's first kiss...so sweet. He man's up and swims out there only to be met by her BF Nate (Garret Forster). Nate tries to humiliate Lance and does a good job. Also on the raft is Nate's friend Riley. Two other bikini babe, Dixie (Courtney Wax) and the extremely big breasted Lori (Meitar Paz) join them. Lori wants Nate and a catfight brews between her and Annabel.

The shark arrives.  It eats Riley and a hunter near shore.  Now it keeps feeding on anyone who is not on the raft or who falls in.  The creature rams the raft knocking babes and hunks in.  Now the raft is falling apart.  Lance tries to man up but Nate continues to humiliate him. Poor Lance, we do feel sorry for him. We do sense Annabel is developing an attraction to him as her own BF behaves so bad.  Now Lance has a chance to save the day but the odds are against him.  As all looks lost, not only will Lance man-up but the big breasted Lori will try to emerge as quite the hero or die trying.

Will Lance end up with Annabel?  Will the big breasted Lori be able to be an unlikely hero or merely part of the shark's buffet?  Will any of the other bikini babes try to wipe that smug look off Annabel's face and feed her to the predatory fish?  This is a good one with a very nice cheesecake rating.  For an underwater shark film that is a bit quirky, full of surprises, and one tremendous ending, see "Below."

Nemesis, Cyborgs vs. The LAPD

Forget about everything about this film. Plot?  Not important.  What you need to know is that the sultry Deborah Shelton has the greatest death scene in motion picture history.  You'll see her demise and exalt, "Wow!  That's how I wanna go!" No one can look so good and so mangled at the same time. Okay, fear not, we'll talk about the plot but it won't matter.  Forget diving into an active volcano, or getting caught in the gears of a combine, or even being picked apart by rabid pterodactyls...the way Deborah Shelton goes... well, that will give one legend status.  Today we look at 1992's "Nemesis," directed by Albert Pyun.

In 2027, Alex (Olivier Gruner) is a LAPD cop. Kind of. He's 86% cyborg. His job...kill bad cyborgs. He does this at the beginning of the film but incurs the wrath of 2 babe cyborgs and two hunk cyborgs. They chase him and almost kill him. Six months later, he's rebuilt and recuperating in Baja. In Baja he kills another babe cyborg (Jennifer Gatti), a waitress serving him cerveza. Along come two babe cyborgs, Jared (Marjorie Monoghan) and Sam  (Marjean Holden). We gather Alex and Jared are old lovers. Don't ask. Now the plot gets complicated when the LAPD Commissioner, Farnsworth (Tim Thomerson) sends him on a mission to capture Jared. Yep, Jared has gone rogue...kind of. Oh yes, Alex has a nuke planted in his heart and it will detonate when he gets close to Jared.

What?  Yeah, I know...don't ask. Off to Java to find Jared...instead he finds Julian (Shelton). What Julian tells him will be shocking but not nearly as shocking as what is about to happen to this babe. Fresh from a nude scene, what is done to Julian will change your life. You think Joan d' Arc had a dramatic death... you haven't seen nothing yet.  Okay, Alex meets another babe, Max Impact (Merle Kennedy). Max may be human but holds the key to human survival against the cyborgs. She's perky and playful and we can see Alex falling in love with her. Now cyborg Farnsworth and his henchmen arrive in Java to kill Alex and all the humans. Oh, I should mention the machine gun fights. There are more machine gun rounds fired in the movie than there were in the Battle of the Bulge.

Being 14% human, is Alex still able to...well, you know...like if Julian walks into the room and...okay, forget this question.  Just how does Julian die?  Is there any human left who is not at least part cyborg?  This is a bang 'em up, shoot 'em up action scifi epic.  You gals will love Mr. Gruner and his abs, and you guys will love the babe cyborgs and Deborah Shelton's death scene. For an inspiring look into the year 2027, see "Nemesis."  

The Cat and the Canary, Inheritance and Insanity

Today we have an Agatha Christie-type story.  This one even has a tinge (maybe, more of a tinge) of eroticism.  Brutal murder, comic wit, and love.  Even more important is a great cheese factor. Picture Carol Lynley, clad in a slinky negligee, in great peril. Picture Honor Blackman and Olivia Hussey as lovers. In a film in which everyone is a suspect, maniacal drama and bloody homicide rule the day.  Our film today is 1978's "The Cat and the Canary," directed by Radley Metzger.

Old geyser tycoon, Cyrus West (Wilfrid Hyde-White) dies...20 years ago. Pursuant to his will, his potential heirs are summoned for the reading of the will. He filmed himself reading the will. In the film, he announces who gets his fortune. There is a caveat.  His heir must not be insane...and must survive for the next 24 hours. The summoned cast features the lovely Annabelle (Lynley). No spoiler here...she's the rightful heir, if she can convince everyone she's not insane...and survives the night. Susan (Blackman) is a big game hunter and brings her sex toy, Cecily (Hussey) along with her to the mansion. Paul (Michael Callan) is the American who wants to be kissing cousins with Annabelle. Charlie (Peter McEnery) is the war hero. There are some more...not all will survive.

Surprise! Hendricks (Edward Fox) arrives. He is the head psychologist at an asylum for the criminally insane. He announces one of his patients, who thinks he is a cat, has escaped and is probably hiding in the mansion.  Annabelle immediately puts on a slinky nightgown and holds off the advances of Paul and Henry (Daniel Massey).  Then the executor is grabbed and horribly mangled by the escaped lunatic.  Uh oh...a secret passageway will allow the killer to enter Annabelle's bedchambers as she sleeps.  As a raging thunder and lightning storm rages, Susan and Cecily share passion, and the evil being makes a move for Annabelle.

Is Annabelle sane?  If she is, will she remain alive to collect her fortune?  Does either Paul or Henry have a shot at her?  Will a negligee clad Annabelle see to it to get into a catfight with either Susan or Cecily...or both?  Okay, that third question was gratuitous and in bad taste. For a bloody and erotic good time, with some very erotic fashion statements by Carol Lynley, see "The Cat and the Canary."