Cupid, True Love Hurts

We have a good one...very gory, too, today.  When a medical school dropout runs into the room with a hacksaw determined to amputate...we know good things will follow.  Then, as far as imaginative kills, how about the lovely Lina (Kelly Juvilee)?  She'll get it with a...cookie-cutter!  Yes!  She will be made into cookies and served to her babe and hunk friends during a Valentine's Day dance.  The idiots will claim the cookies taste like chicken.  Yep, today we will look at 2020's "Cupid," directed by Scott Chambers.

As our film begins a demonic Cupid arrives. Sadly, his first kill is the noble babe, Denise (Megan Lockhurst). She'll get an arrow into her eye and through the brain. So sad. Okay, Faye (Georgina Jane) is a high school student with a crush on her teacher, Mr. Jones (Michael Owuso). She has a book of spells and puts a love curse on him which does not seem to work. She is detested by cool girl, and mega-bitch Elise (Sarah T. Cohen). Elise has a plan to humiliate Faye.  She steals Mr. Jones' phone and sends Elise erotic messages.  Faye believes she is receiving the messages from her hunk teacher. Oh, yeah. Mr. Jones and fellow teacher, and blonde bombshell Miss Drake (Abi Casson Thompson) actually do have a thing going. Now Elise posts pics, sent by Faye, and the pics go viral.  There will be a lot more, but take my word for it, Faye is humiliated in front of the entire school.

Angry and embarrassed, Faye conjures Cupid.  The now demon shows up with a bow and arrow and begins murdering all of Faye's classmates. The aforementioned Lina will get it first.  Now, on the day of the dance, Elise's buddies begin dying at the hands of the demon.  Weapons used by this fiend will include Valentine's Day cards (think papercuts to the throat), cookie cutters, arrows, etc.  Now the surviving students and teachers are locked in the school as the demon Cupid roams the halls, hunting them.  One by one, the students and teachers fall. Oh, yeah...Matt (Ali Barouti) is a classmate of Faye's who has a secret crush on her.  Unbeknownst to Faye, Cupid is also after him. Now Faye and her classmates figure out what is occurring and the mates are not happy with Faye.

Can Faye reverse the curse before Cupid gets everyone?  Is there a nice catfight brewing between Miss Drake and Faye?  Is there a very special death being saved for the evil Elise?  This is a gory one and the death count is high.  For an anti-romance, anti Valentine's Day horror epic, see "Cupid."  

Operation Blood Hunt, Werewolves of World War 2

Okay, this may be a difficult film to defend. Still, we have a lot of werewolves ripping Japanese and American GIs to shreds.  Pulling out their internal organs, backbones, swatting their heads off...good gore, in other words. Then we have a sultry South Pacific island princess who also changes into a werewolf.  Okay, stop in!  No PMS metaphors here.  Today we will look at a film directed by Louis Mandylor, 2024's "Operation Blood Hunt."

Here is the plot...not that it will help. A haunted OSS operative, Murphy (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) during World War 2 runs a bar. A Nazi vampire (Mandylor) storms in and is beaten into submission by Murphy and his two sultry, corset clad bar wenches (Emma Lund and Alejandra Norris). Then Rev (Quinton "Rampage" Jackson) arrives and skewers the vampire on his sword.  The wenches and Murphy continue to torment the Nazi. Fast forward, Rev is sent to a pacific island with a commando team of US marines. His desire is to learn of his dad and why he went there and probably died there. The island is terrorized by werewolves and the fiends have shredded all the Japanese and U.S. soldiers.

Okay, a sultry princess, Heirani (Sonia Couling) goes through a ceremony and becomes a femme werewolf. Now she and an alpha werewolf (Stratos Cristos Maygias) terrorize the Rev and the commando unit.  One by one, the GIs fall to the monsters.  Back at home, Murphy spies on the spies and figures out the OSS does not plan to extract his buddy when the mission is complete.  The GIs find gold and try to take it, but the werewolves converge.  More heads will be swatted off.  More limbs will be pulled off.  More spines will be torn out. The Rev will get to use his silver crossbow and shotgun with silver bullets.  Those weapons just about even the score.

I dare you to tell me I did not do a good job at informing you of the plot.  If you think that, watch the film.  All that aside, this is a neat werewolf film with a lot of carnage, gore, and grunting.  It also has a nice Film Noir feel to it.  For something a little different, or a lot different, see "Operation Blood Hunt."  

Bummer, A Rock Band and the Groupies They Love

Oooh!  This one won't end well.  This is hardly a spoiler.  From the outset you will see where this is headed. What makes this even more difficult is the fact that the victims will be nubile, and often nude, babes. The groupies are sultry, and often nude (did I mention that?), and so willing to perform for the "musicians" that seek their intimacy.  Our feature today is the dark exploitation film, 1973's "Bummer," directed by William Allen Castleman. 

Duke (Kip Whitman) is the lead "singer" of a band called "The Group."  Wow...how did he come up with that? Perhaps he lost a bet. He has three mates, Gary (David Buchanan), Mike (David Ankrum), and Butts (Dennis Burkley). The problem...Butts. The behemoth of a guitarist is unstable...subject to temper outbursts of violence. He has mommy issues and his mom (Kate Monahan) loves giving him sensual massages. Enter three sultry groupies.  The rich gal Barbara (Connie Strickland), Dolly (Diane Lee Hart), and Janyce (Carol Speed). They hook up with The Group. See the problem?  Hint...Four musicians...three babes. Do the math.  Butts does the math and sees himself as a fifth wheel.  Using his brawn, he grabs Barbara and Dolly, strips them, hauls them into a shower, puts on the cold water, makes them soap each other down, and whacks off to the spectacle.  Do the gals storm out after that? No!  Idiots!

Yep...the nudity, pre-marital sex, and bad music will be thrown at us.  Duke refuses to listen to his band members and see Butts as a danger.  Duke continues boinking Dolly, Mike boinks Janyce, and Gary boinks Barbara.  Butts only has the intimacy of his...mom. Butts will rape a groupie in Bakersfield, but Duke will look the other way.  Why?  Who knows? Then this all comes to a bloody and vicious head, as Butts can control himself no longer around the trio of sultry groupies.  Vicious and bloody will be the key words for the last third of the film.

Will any of these nubile, if not slutty, groupies survive the wrath of Butts?  Just why won't Duke see the light and get rid of Butts?  Has anyone suggested singing lessons to this quartet of miscreants?  See "Bummer" and be bummed out.  Not the feel good film of 1973...though was anything in 1973 "feel good"? 

Lovesick: Sick Love, A Slut and a Psycho

Perhaps there is not too much unique about this plot, but we do enjoy it. When a slut is the protagonist, the opportunity for metaphor and social commentary is just too easy. Then we have a pervert-psycho...and we kind of...get him.  Dare we say that the slut deserves the plight she is about to face?  On this blog we can have frank discussions.  In any event, our slut is quite the dish and we are sympathetic to her plight, merely because of that. Our feature today is 2004's "Lovesick: Sick Love (aka "The Chambermaid")," directed by Wolfgang Buld.

Julia (Fiona Horsey) is a babe with a worthless, rocker BF, Istvan (William Rowsey). Istvan snorts all their income and now the mob is trying to collect from him. Stupid Julia stands by him, because she is a nympho-groupie. Now its up to Julia to earn enough money to pay the mob.  By accident she realizes men will pay her for hand jobs and sex. I'm sure this idea would never have occurred to her, otherwise. She earns a lot from this but instead of paying off the mob, Istvan snorts it. Enter the pervert/creep hotel manager, Michael (Paul Conway). He employs Julia as a chambermaid and loves taking peeps at her changing into her uniform. Paul is the caretaker of his cantankerous invalid mom (Jessica Barnes). He also does online porn, a lot. When Julia is evicted she plays Michael well and now is invited to stay with him.

Michael is not the only bad guy. After he passes out at a bar, Julia brings him home and claims to have de-virginized him.  Michael is thrilled and is convinced Julia is destined to be the mother of his children. Julia is merely taking advantage of him. When Michael finds out the truth...well, Julia will be in major league danger. What follows for Julia is captivity, being drugged, being violated, bondage, chains, murder, a dank basement, and a pervert getting more and more unstable by the minute.

Will Julia break out of her chains, find her clothes, and turn the tables on Michael? Does Michael plan on keeping her chained up until she delivers a child to him?  Is this film a thinly veiled metaphor for how our civilization looks at women, or a morality lesson for loose skanks? Either way, Ms. Horsey is terrific and captivating, and Mr. Conway is creepy to the max in his portrayal. See "Lovesick: Sick Love" and learn a lesson or two.      

The Shadow, Blackmailing Murderer

There will be fog, a lot of fog.  Scotland yard will be stumped.  An old country manor well outside the city.  A group of assorted family members in which one of them is not who he or she appears. Today we have an English film from 1933 in the style of an Agatha Christie tale.  Atmospheric and ominous, the body count will be high, the damsel in distress will be sultry, and the suspects will be numerous.  Our feature today is "The Shadow, " directed by George A. Cooper.

A mysterious man, or woman, clad in dark garb and always behind the shadows, is blackmailing men of good standing.  Parliament officials, movie stars, or other wealthy upstanding members of the community.  The Shadow has always secured love letters these men have written to mistresses.  The gig is, you pay up or I publish these letters.  The men pay up, commit suicide, or are murdered. As the death count climbs, Scotland Yard is able to develop clues.  Uh oh, the detectives who develop clues are then murdered. Sir Richard (Felix Aylmar) leads Scotland Yard and is tired of seeing his detectives killed.  He takes the weekend and goes to visit his country estate where his weird family is gathered. Sir Richard's daughter, Sonia (Elizabeth Allan) is a babe.  We like her because she is a babe.  Strangely, we have indications that she knows of the identity of The Shadow.

Reggie (Henry Kendall) is also there.  He wants to marry Sonia, but she is promised to the hunk Beverly (James Raglan).  Reggie is a self-proclaimed criminologist and tells the cops and family members he can solve the case faster than they can.  Oops, two burglars arrive on a foggy night. The hunk Jim (Cyril Raymond) and his sultry evil wife Moya (Jeanne Stuart). They claim their car has broken down, but they actually intend on robbing the mansion. Enter The Shadow.  He's there.  When a detective arrives with the identity of The Shadow, he is murdered before he can tell Sir Richard. Now Sonia is in danger as she knows The Shadow's identity and also has proof.  As Moya and Jim begin robbing the place, The Shadow shoots more people, and Sonia nurses her fiancé, who has just been knocked out...The Shadow gets even more aggressive.

Why won't Sonia simply reveal the identity of the blackmailing fiend?  Is weird Reggie smarter than Scotland Yard?  Will there be a catfight between Sonia and Moya over some guy?  This is a campy and atmospheric murder mystery that proves to be quite vicious.  See "The Shadow," and enjoy a fine B movie from the era of the FDR Administration.

Wicked Ways, A Psycho Wife and a Two-Timing Husband

If a psycho is a real babe...would we like her. YES!!! The proof of that is in our feature today. Sure she's hard to live with.  Sure she sets up deadly booby traps throughout her house designed to kill.  Sure she seduces any man (UPS guy, neighbor, etc.) whenever they get within 500 feet of her house.  Sure she pulls a gun on her husband.  Sure she...well...she's totally bonkers.  Why?  Behind any crazy woman is a man who probably drove her to that.  Our feature today is 1999's "Wicked Ways" (aka "Table for One"), directed by Ron Senkowski. WARNING:  STEAMY SEX WILL BE PREVALENT IN THIS FILM.

She's sultry and quite the seductress.  Ruth (Rebecca DeMornay) is the loony wife of Matt (Michael Rooker). She is addicted to a soap opera, you'll see.  She sets booby traps throughout the house and constantly interrogates Matt about his faithfulness.  Matt assures her he is being faithful.  Ha!  All men are liars.  Matt has a double life. He's on the road more than half the time. Little does Ruth know, he also has a wife and mansion in another part of the state. There he is a successful scientist and has a couple of kids and a sultry rich wife (Lisa Zane). Ruth, the crazy wife, gets lonely and delusional when Matt is gone. A hunk moves in next door, Tom (Mark Rolston). He and his wife (Shareen Mitchell) are bickering. He has needs, and Ruth has needs.  Yep, when Matt is away, Ruth will play.

Matt and his other wife are quite the couple and make the social pages. He has been promoted and will be relocated to DC (3000 miles away).  Now he has to hope he can get Ruth to agree to leave him...fat chance.  Tom's wife leaves him.  Tom and Ruth get close and Matt finds out.  Now Matt has a plan.  Not a good one.  Ruth is losing more sanity.  We find out why Ruth is a nutcase and it is a horrific story.  Her booby traps get more imaginative.  Where is this all leading.  Surely, this has got to end bad.  But for who?

If Ruth finds out about Matt's other family will she just kill Matt or the entire other family?  Will Ruth murder Tom's wife if Tom and her stop bickering?  Just what made Ruth so insane?  Rebecca DeMornay turns in a sultry performance that will send any guy to the shower.  She is all seductress and one wonders how Michael Rooker can leave her for...well...his other wife is attractive, too...in a more sophisticated way.  Does this even matter?  Sure it does!  See "Wicked Ways" and don't worry about thinking devilish thoughts. 

Mouse of Horrors, Bride of Frankenstein in Fun-Land

Okay, let's get this over with.  That scene!  The one with the 15-foot Great White. Completely out of place.  Still...it is a 15-foot Great White in an amusement park slasher film...why not?  I mean, it wasn't like a hot air balloon scene in which two young lovers laugh in glee!  A Great White!  Irrelevant...but a Great White, nonetheless. The film we have today is a 2025 slasher film. Slasher all the way.  This may be the goriest film you see all year.  So let us get to "Mouse of Horrors," directed by Brenda Petrizzo.

Two slag lovelies (Eve Vice and Misti Taylor) in a seaside town are looking for guys to have pre-marital sex with. One will be dismembered by a man in a mouse mask (Lewis Santer), the other will be cut up later. Fun-Land, an amusement park in this town will be the center of the horror.  After a jogger is torn apart by the same mouse man, Meg (Erin Sanderson) will bring her buddies to the place. Meg works there and will sneak back in with her mates to have her buddy Chloe's (Natasha Tosini) going away party. Kim (Allie Moreno), Chloe's bestie is there with a lot more babes and hunks. Oh yes, we meet the mouse man, and his mate, the bear man (Stephen Staley). These two slashers are controlled by mad scientist Dr. Rupert (Chris Lines). Rupert sends these two monstrosities out to capture women and take their body parts. Yep, Rupert is a regular Dr. Frankenstein and is producing a bride for the mouse man, piece by piece.

The kills will be gory...very gory. The bear and mouse will cut off, or pluck out body parts of nubile babes and their hunk boyfriends and feed them to the dying unfortunate. Ick!  Rupert sees Chloe and wants her to be the head of the bride. You'll meet the unfinished bride, later.  Now the bear and mouse scavenge the closed Fun-Land hunting for babes. The hunk BFs will be in the way and will also die in gory fashion, Knives, sledgehammers, machetes, hedge clippers, and other bladed instruments will be the weapons of choice for the psychos. The trio of psychos will go through babes and hunks like crap through a goose.  Then!  The Great White shark!  Out of nowhere!  Wow!  Again...why not? Chloe has spunk and desires to save her mates, or the ones still alive, and goes to war with the psychos.

Will Chloe be the final girl, and if so will she save any of her mates?  Has Dr. Rupert received any funding from USAID, or collaborated with Dr. Fauci?  Will Bear and Mouse have a knock down drag out fight over the sultry Chloe?  This is an extremely gory one which will cause you to avert your gaze from the screen.  For a classic slasher film with real slashers, see "Mouse of Horrors."