Sunday, July 8, 2018

Hayride, Halloween Carnage

A chainsaw, machete, sledgehammer, bear-traps, and pitchfork all help make 2012's "Hayride" a noble slasher film. Dozens will be sliced up and and a nubile damsel will be put in much distress...there is something so right about this type of film-making. Okay, maybe this effort isn't entirely original, but it beats the ambitious plots of the box-office garbage like "Jupiter Ascending" or "Ready Player One." Original isn't always good, and cookie-cutter isn't always bad, especially if the cookie-cutter also happens to puncture jugular veins.
The nubile Amanda (Sherri Eakin), a college gal, joins her very hunk BF, Steven (Jeremy Ivy), as they visit his Uncle Morgan deep in Alabama. Morgan (Richard Tyson) goes all out on his farm for Halloween, creating a detailed haunted house in his barn and a haunted hayride. Uh oh, serial killer Guffin (Shannon Box), who killed six young girls, escapes and heads toward the farm. After killing just about every cop in south Alabama, our fiend steals a mask and readies himself for the haunted hayride, unbeknownst to the paying customers. Morgan tells enough campfire stories of maniacs with pitchforks and murder in their hearts to set the mood.
After murdering many of the hayride volunteers, including a Jason Voorhees look-a-like, Guffin arms himself with all the previously mentioned weapons. He will kill dozens and is very adept with the chainsaw and sledgehammer. Uh oh again, he spies the very sweet Amanda and wants her. Now he is double-tasked, kill everyone and grab Amanda, probably rape her and impregnate her, I guess. Amanda for Halloween is a cheerleader and her sickeningly sweet  BF Steven will have to get mean in order to save her. As the beautiful and handsome fall in bloody heaps, Guffin seems unstoppable.
Will the very sweet Amanda, who won't engage in pre-marital sex in this film, be soiled by the slasher-monster? Is our serial killer fiend mortal or is he an updated version of Jason or Michael Myers? What surprises are in store for us as this film concludes...and there will be some?  A lot of kills, and impalement highlight "Hayride," directed by Terron R. Parsons. If you long for the days when a new "Friday the 13th" film came out every year or so, enjoy this slasher film which will have double the kills of each of those Jason films.


  1. Nice review mate, I tend to watch slashers purely for the set piece kills & if it delivers in this & the eye candy stakes (translation: NOOODITY!!:D) then I'm a happy camper. Will keep an eye out forthis one & thanks for the heads up on it. :)

  2. Do you dare take the hay ride, even if admission if free? I'll pass thanks!!