Tuesday, October 30, 2018

The Slumber Party Massacre, Scream Queens Drilled

Back in the 80s when we were wandering into the video store, 1982's "The Slumber Party Massacre" always caught our attention. The box art for the VHS tape featured a trio of sultry babes, scared out of their panties, clad in naughty lingerie, looking helpless on the floor as a driller killer hovered above them. It was such a beautiful thing. In 1982 it was easy to dismiss this film as a rip-off of "Halloween," but in 2018, "The Slumber Party Massacre" stands as a slasher classic featuring a horde of beautiful scream queens. Ironically, a surviving damsel in this film, Robin Stille, would not be so fortunate in real life. This beauty would take her own life in 1996 after awful alcohol problems.
Russ (Michael Villella) escapes prison after 13 years. He murdered five people and now returns to the same California town. A beautiful telephone repair woman (Jean Vargas) is first to go. After giving us a gratuitous posterior shot, the blonde vixen is grabbed and drilled in her head by Russ. So sad...she was indeed a babe. Next is Brinke Stevens. She'll be chased through her high school after it closes for the night and also drilled. Meanwhile, the gratuitous scenes pile up. We'll see Trish (Michelle Michaels) in a gratuitous nude scene...a gratuitous girls basketball game...a gratuitous shower/locker room scene after the game...and then gratuitous changing into undies and lingerie scenes as Trish's slumber party commences.
With five sultry 18 year-olds converging for a slumber party, Russ heads over to Trish's house. Oh yeah, Valerie (Stille), the new girl at school, avoids the party as most of the other girls are jealous because she is better looking than them. Russ strikes fast, drilling a neighbor and then Diane (Gina Smika Hunter) will get it in the garage as she makes out with her beau. The girls will fall as their blood splatters and Russ' goal is obviously to kill them all. Trish seems to have fight in her, and when Valerie is lured over to the house, Russ may have met his match. Other 18 year olds and even a beautiful girls basketball coach (Pamela Roylance) will also be slain.
Will Trish and/or Valerie survive Russ' massacre? Will Trish and Valerie engage in a cat-fight over which one is better looking? Does anyone out there remember high school seniors looking like these girls at their high school? Directed by Amy Holden Jones, it is safe to say that the cast and corpses in "The Slumber Party Massacre" were a lot better looking than the cast of "Halloween." 

Sunday, October 28, 2018

Queen of Blood, Vampire Woman On Her Way

Oh yeah...what could go wrong? Earth sends signals out to the far reaches of the universe. The signals introduce ourselves to alien life and assuring them we mean peace. Yep...brilliant! Does anyone actually believe this could go well? Like an alien life force will receive the transmission and send word back..."Friends"...or "We mean peace"...or "Let us work together in the spirit of harmony." As Carl Sagan said in 1987, "Any alien life form we contact will probably be slimy, green vampire-things, seeking to drink us blood dry." {Actually, those weren't exactly the words he used}. In reality, an alien life form receiving our transmission is more likely to see these messages as an opportunity to gain 8,000,000,000 slaves...or even worse...as a menu. Hence 1966's "Queen of Blood."
Instead of saddling itself with a useless space shuttle program, the world community is ready to meet alien life. After receiving a response to their transmission, they are ready to meet them. Its 1990, after all, so Earth is ready to spread its peace and harmony through the universe. The alien beings arrange to meet on Mars, thus a crew of astronauts is assembled. These brave souls consist of Allan (John Saxon), his gal Laura (Judi Meredith), Paul (Dennis Hopper), and scientist/commander Anders (Robert Boon). Too good to be true? Remember what Elon Musk said..."Seek out alien life and blow it to crumbs, before they do the same to us." {Actually, those weren't the exact words he used}.
Skipping much of the plot, the initial meeting appears to be a disaster. The alien ship seems to have met with catastrophe and Allan brings aboard one survivor, a beautiful green space babe (Florence Marly). She wakes and gives the men a look of lust (they wish, its actually the same look a doberman gives a lamb-chop). As for the nubile Laura, well girls will be girls, and our alien vixen gives her a look of utter hatred. Uh oh...she will not eat....food....or drink...wine. She'll then put Dennis Hopper in a trance and drink him dry of blood. She only nourishes on human blood...and you guessed it...stored plasma won't satisfy her. As she attempts to go through the men like crap through a goose, Laura will ready herself for the cat-fight of her life. Uh oh...the alien vixen has something more sinister planned for a planet thinking they are in store for universal harmony.
Will the space vampire make it to Earth? Will any of the crew survive? Will Laura's spunk and possessiveness of her man be enough for her to prevail in the inevitable cat-fight? This is an eerie one that has the feel of a Mario Bava work. Directed by Curtis Harrington, "Queen of Blood" is a chilling space vampire film. In conclusion, remember what Stephen Hawking once said, "Send the proton torpedoes down their throat before they eat us." {Actually, those weren't exactly the words he used}.

Saturday, October 27, 2018

Trapped in Amber, The Barber of Twisted Obsession

Unnerving and uncomfortable. Today we look at a half hour horror short made by Daniel Brown, and it is one that will stick with you long after the end credits. This is dark horror which will come across as twisted and bordering on the taboo. Made by a Philadelphia filmmaker, your first reaction to this film will be "what just happened, I don't get it." Then a second or two later you will have to confess to yourself that your sane mind may also be a bit twisted because in fact...you did get it.
Jeffrey Turboff brilliantly plays a barber, who may also be a pedophile...so why are we feeling sorry for him? Who knows...but we do. Something awful happened many years ago and now it has become his obsession. Upstairs in a spare bedroom is...a little girl? Tied to a bed is she? Or is she dead? Or is she even there. Our barber buys her little girls clothes...especially undies. Yep...this is creepy. His long lost love is Amber, but many years ago she went away...we assumed died.
But wait! Into his shop walks pre-adolescent Hazel (Caroline Oktavec). He does her hair but unfortunately he touches her inappropriately. Now Hazel's dad (Matt Nicholas) is on the warpath. As the barber continues to tend to the mysterious being in his upstairs bedroom, his world closes in on him. Philadelphia doesn't like child molesters or any pedophilia driven pervert. No more of the plot here, but the ending will be fast-paced and shocking.
Like a pre-historic mosquito caught in a lava flow, perhaps our barber has been caught in childhood by a horrific and bloody event. Is he really a pervert deserving of the scorn and brutality that inevitably will come his way? What of his upstairs bedroom...could it be Amber in there? Another girl he is making into Amber? Or maybe he's piecing together Amber from parts of corpses of children. See where Daniel Brown takes us? To make matters worse, why are we feeling sympathy for this guy and why do we see his antagonists as villains? As we are led masterfully on a twisted journey by Mr. Brown, our mind stays in "Trapped in Amber" long after the credits, asking questions about what we just saw...and about ourselves. Thus, perhaps we too are trapped in amber, just like that pre-historic mosquito.
Click on this link to view the trailer for this film Trapped in Amber trailer

Friday, October 26, 2018

Missile to the Moon, The Miss Universe Pageant of B Movies

So sad! Gretchen Carlson has driven the last nail into the coffin of the Miss America Pageant. Sultry, nubile women with angelic gifts no longer rule this pageant...instead lasses playing weird songs on cups (really) spouting PC politics have taken over. Ms. Carlson did away with the swimsuit competition and the pageant, now called a competition, lost over half of their remaining viewers. Fortunately. Gretchen Carlson had no hand in 1958's "Missile to the Moon." This great scifi epic features sultry moon girls played by Sandra Wirth (Miss Florida), Pat Mowry (Miss New Hampshire), Tania Velia (Miss Yugoslavia), Sanita Pelkey (Miss New York), Lisa Simone (Miss France), Marianne Gaba (Miss Illinois), Gaba Renata (Miss Germany), and Mary Ford (Miss Minnesota). If Gretchen Carlson had made this film we would have seen Rosie O'Donnell and Roseanne Barr as the moon girls...scary!
20 years ago Dirk (Michael Whalen) came to Earth from the moon. In that time he impersonated a great rocket scientist and built a rocket to fly back to the moon. As the U.S. government threatens to take over his space rocket and turn it into a useless space shuttle, he commandeers two escaped felons, Lon (Gary Clarke) and Gary (Tommy Cook), and his two assistants Steve (Richard Travis) and the nubile June (Cathy Downs). None of these schmucks knows Dirk is a moon man and June and Steve are in love. On the way up to the moon Gary tries to rape June and Dirk dies in a meteorite shower, hence only the 4 Earthlings reach the moon.
On the moon, they are attacked by rock monsters and abducted by a race of beautiful moon women. Gretchen Carlson would not be pleased as these ladies are sultry and dressed in form-fitting leotards showing a lot of leg and suggesting much bosom. These ladies are played by the aforementioned pageant winners. Lido (K.T. Stevens) is the leader and because she is blind, she thinks Steve is Dirk. Steve finds out he is promised in marriage to Alpha (Nina Bara). Alpha then engages June in a cat-fight, beats her up and sentences her to death. Meanwhile Alpha releases a huge spider to eat the other Earthlings, hypnotizes Steve to fall in love with her and has June tied to a stake outside the spiders lair. Uh oh...the spider eats Miss Germany...so sad. As Alpha kills Lido to seize the throne, June is in mortal danger and all the moon women who seek to help the Earthlings are put on Alpha's death list, too.
Fortunately Gretchen Carlson wasn't around in the 1950s, as if she were, instead of international beauties, Ms. Carlson would've cast frumpy librarians. The ladies are quite appealing and their proclivity toward cat-fights is heartwarming. Will the Earthlings escape the spider creature and the moon women? Will June be torn apart by the spider or by a jealous Alpha?  Will the other moon beauties hook up with the male Earthlings...or each other? This is great cheesecake from the 1950s and is not corrupted by the Gretchen Carlson types of society. For 1950s B movie fun, see "Missile to the Moon," a film made before the likes of Gretchen Carlson destroyed beauty pageants.

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

The Legend of Boggy Creek, A Ballad to Bigfoot

The most perfect film ever made was delivered to us in 1972. Yes, "The Legend of Boggy Creek." No one film explains the ethos of America like this docudrama about Bigfoot. Set in the true heart of The United States, Arkansas, Europeans and Asians who believe they understand Americans better watch this film before making that claim. No one creature better symbolizes American individualism and exceptionalism better than Sasquatch. He can beat up any Yeti or lake monster (Nessie), and endures, unscathed by an ever evasive civilization.
Fouke, Arkansas...not too far away from Texarkana, has a small (huge, actually) problem. This small town, abutting swamp and thick woods, is on Bigfoot's radar. The hairy creature preys on chickens and cattle, much to the displeasure of farmers of the region. Now our eight foot friend has started getting bolder, appearing to humans who wander to the tree line. The sightings increase and the livestock casualties increase and Sasquatch's (Bigfoot's alias) growl gets louder. We hear from many of the actual witnesses (very few in this film are actors) and their accounts are compelling. What's more, the dramatized scenes featuring Bigfoot are eerie and bordering on frightening.
Is he benign? The first half of the film suggests this enigma has no animus toward humans. Like any annoying relative, humans  get under his skin...er...fur. As the last half hour of the film begins, two great looking couples, the Fords' (Bunny Dees and John Wallis) and the Turner's (Sarah Coble and Dave O'Brien) will endure grotesque horror. As harmless as Bigfoot may have appeared through this film, these great looking couples, with their small children, will have one of the most horrific nights in American history. In a plot aspect that would make Roger Corman proud, Bigfoot seems to have an interest for nubile young women.
"The Legend of Boggy Creek" was directed by Charles B.Pierce and leaves many unanswered questions. From a purely selfish point of view, I'm hoping this film will spur interest in my upcoming story "The Himalayan She Demon." The characters in this film are real people, not metrosexuals seeking espresso, or ballet dancers living in New York's rent controlled apartments, or sultry scientists saving the world, or pin-headed pukes determined to fight for social justice. The folk from the Texarkana area have made this country great, living real lives and committed to being good neighbors. For the definitive American story, enjoy "The Legend of Boggy Creek."

Monday, October 22, 2018

The Comeback, Composing and Decomposing

However lovely one may be in life, death changes a lot. As the heart ceases beating, decomposing moves in. Holly Palance is a lovely actress and her hanging death in "The Omen" still gives us the shivers. In 1978's "The Comeback" she'll appear as a glamorous and sultry woman...at least for a few minutes. Then as she is chopped up into pieces, her beauty flees...the flies come...the maggots arrive...decomposition commences...and presumably her friends bolt. When the sweet aroma of Chanel Number 5 gives way to the stench of rotting meat, men may not come around as often.
Gail (Palance) arrives at her penthouse apartment in London in order to claim her belongings. She and her hubby Nick (Jack Jones) have divorced. Though heartbroken, she still looks stunning...until a fiend with a sickle chops her up in most gory fashion. She'll go undiscovered in the penthouse and decomposition will begin immediately. Nick on the other hand, now that he is divorced, decides to revive his singing career. After a six year absence, his agent Webster (David Doyle) is eager for Nick to cut another album. Webster finds a secluded country estate where Nick can work without being disturbed.
Lucky Nick! The beautiful blonde Linda (Pamela Stephenson) is assigned to him as an assistant. The two will have a lot of sexual intercourse together...in bed...in her car...or wherever they damn please. Uh oh...Nick hears moans, groans, and screams in the middle of the night. No one else does. The caretakers (Bill Owen and Sheila Keith) of the estate are weird but swear they don't hear noises. Oh yes...Webster...well...you'll see. As the noises continue, Nick also sees a rotting corpse of a woman with maggots coming out of her mouth. He doesn't realize this is Gail as he believes his ex-wife is still alive. As Nick's sanity is questioned, and as Gail continues to decompose, and as Nick tries to compose, the nubile Linda may be in horrific peril.
Is Gail's ghost trying to warn Nick about danger, or upset he is having carnal relations with Linda without the benefit of clergy? Could Nick really be insane...and did he kill Gail?  Is Linda headed for a similar fate as Gail suffered? Directed by Pete Walker, this is a well acted mystery/thriller with some very gory plot devices. For some pure 1970s fun, and maybe Pamela Stephenson's best film, enjoy "The Comeback."

Saturday, October 20, 2018

Sasquatch Mountain, Bigfoot vs. Miss Korea

Oh, to be Bigfoot. Wander around a lonely forest looking for D.B. Cooper's loot and some nuts and berries...what an existence. Maybe scare a few campers occasionally...that would be fun. Growl, pick ticks out of your fur...a simple and enigmatic life. Then one day, while minding your own business, a babe from the Miss World Pageant, Miss Korea...to be exact, charges at you screaming like a banshee...do you decapitate her or perhaps mate with her? For the answer to that conundrum, you will have to watch 2006's "Sasquatch Mountain," starring Lance Henriksen, Cerina Vincent...and former Miss Korea Karen Kim.
Five schmuck bank robbers led by Travis (Craig Wasson) hit a bank, kill a cop. During the getaway they are blindsided by a car driven by the lovely Erin (Cerina Vincent). Now Erin is a hostage as the six flee into the woods. Kayla (Kim), a beautiful bank-robber,  is ticked at Erin and pummels her. Uh oh...the cops show up and after an elongated gunfight chase the bad guys into the woods. These woods are home to Bigfoot and he is not happy about the intrusion. Here comes Chase (Henriksen). He joins the sheriff's posse because he saw Bigfoot many years ago and no one believed him.
One by one, Bigfoot picks off the cops and robbers. Erin and Miss Korea keep antagonizing each other. After a few kills, Bigfoot traps the crew in a cabin with a decomposing corpse inside. Miss Korea and Erin trade insults and promise a great cat-fight. Uh oh...Bigfoot has something planned and appears to be toying with these schmucks. Oh yes...Erin and Miss Korea continue to hiss at each other. As Bigfoot moves in for the kill, some yell and scream...some run...and Miss Korea...well let us just say that we have to give her a lot of credit for her efforts when confronted with a nine-foot tall hairy monster.
Will Miss Korea and Erin ever get into that knockdown drag-out cat-fight promised throughout this film? Will Miss Korea's passionate charge against Sasquatch produce surprising results? Will Lance Henriksen end up with either of the beauties (I speak of Erin or Miss Korea...not Bigfoot)? Also called "Devil on the Mountain," fans of the Miss World Pageant will find "Sasquatch Mountain" quite worthwhile.

Friday, October 19, 2018

POP, Vanity and Horror

What happens when the L.A. body image culture meets 1970s sexploitation? Nirvana...at least as far as this blog goes. Beautiful women and tentacled creatures converge in what is bound to satisfy the fetishes of every businessman in Tokyo (if you have to ask...never mind). "POP" will premier on Amazon Prime Video on October 19th and will have you moaning in disgust and revulsion (in a good way for you horror fans) as what unfolds on the silver screen will be nightmarish and in some sense, familiar.
Renee (Chloe Farnworth) is a stoned slacker who can manipulate a bong with ease. She's beautiful...actually, she would be beautiful if it wasn't for her disgusting zits. As the film progresses, the zits on her face get more disgusting (there is that word again). We get to watch her try to pop them. Despite her zits, the otherwise sultry blonde has a collection of boy toys for a hefty supply of pre-marital sex and illegal drug use.
Vanity is a main topic of conversation with Renee and her main GF Heather (Kasia Szarek). Heather calls attention to her complexion and Renee fires back with reference to Heather's anorexia. Something deeper than a blackhead is happening here. The physical imperfections are minor as compared to the  empty and hopeless existences lives these ladies are leading and their impending futures. No depth...no compassion...no love for anything meaningful, the zits are quite symbolic of Renee's plight. Even a fix of this problem would still leave Renee...well...in a bad place. Then it happens. A cure? What if the cure leads to horrors unimaginable. In an H.P. Lovecraft type of scenario, a monstrous and disgusting (am I getting superfluous?) reveal awaits.
Comedic, biting irony, and horrific scenes make this 15 minute horror short a brilliant commentary on a culture so focused on appearance, and void of humanity. Ms. Farnworth is spectacular as she must be hideous and sultry in the same film. Kudos to director and writer J. Spencer, as he masterfully blends the comedy, horror, and social commentary into a 15 minute short. "POP" is a great fable on a growing American subculture and should be heeded as a warning to where our civilization could end up if we eschew compassion and humanity.

Thursday, October 18, 2018

So Sad About Gloria, Loonies and Romance

We live in an enlightened time. Total whack-balls used to be put in mental asylums. Not anymore. Today we drug them, make them promise to keep taking their psycho-tropic drugs, and send them to your neighborhoods. Back then we locked them in cells, sometime in straight jackets. Today we set them up next door to you. They go to church with you...the supermarket with you...they babysit your children...and even teach them in school. Back then, their confinement kept us all safe. Today, we are still safe until they decide to stop taking their meds...which they will decide...then God help you as they reach for an axe or a chainsaw. Hence 1975's "So Sad About Gloria."
The very beautiful...but quite insane...Gloria (Lori Saunders) has just been released from a mental hospital. This is always a good idea. She still has visions of an axe-man trying to break open a coffin...but other than that...well, you know. Upon release she goes to live with her Uncle Rick (Dean Jagger), as her dad's violent death was what sent her into insanity. Their loaded, actually she's loaded. Uncle Rick lives in the family mansion but all the money is hers...unless something happens to her. What could happen to her? Her doctor has warned Uncle Rick that she is to be kept free from any stress or scares.
As she rides her horse she meets the weird but handsome Chris (Robert Ginnaven). He sweeps her off her feet. Oh yeah, nearby, a sultry brunette (Brenda Evans) is axed to pieces in her bedroom. This murder will go unsolved. As decent as Chris appears, after he marries Gloria he moves them into the same house the aforementioned lovely was chopped up. This unsettles her and eventually she will hear strange noises and her visions and dreams of the axe-man trying to open a coffin increase. As Gloria begins to lose it again, axe-men seem to come out of the woodwork. Unstable, vulnerable, and very wealthy, Gloria seems defenseless against any axe-man or evil-doer that may prey on her.
Is Gloria still insane and if so, is she criminally insane? Is the handsome and smooth Chris after more than the love of the beautiful Gloria? May the diminutive beauty, herself, be the axe-wielding maniac? Veteran horror fans may find this one predictable and slow, though the ending is terrific. Still, at very least, "So Sad About Gloria" may be a decades old warning about the virtue of mental asylums. Remember, in 2018, one in three human beings is total-nutsoid...good luck trying to figure out who those one-third are before they manifest their insanity.

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

The Slayer, The Perils of Sleeping and Fishing Hooks

I know what all of you are thirsting for. Yep, that perfect movie which combines elements of the classic "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" with the 1984 slasher classic The Mutilator . After all, how many of us have fallen asleep and had nightmares about fishing hooks and creepy fishing shacks. Yep...ranks right up there with dreaming about going to high school wearing pajamas. Hence today we delve into 1982's "The Slayer."
Kay (Sarah Kendall, a cross between Sigourney Weaver and Amy Irving), a surrealist painter, has nightmares. This will be tragic news for her friends. Her beau David (Alan McRae, who's mere looks annoy us and we hope he will die horribly) and she will join her brother Eric (Frederick Flynn) and his wife Brooke (Carol Kottenbrook) on an island getaway. When we first see Brooke, it is during a gratuitous shower scene...can you guess her fate? Kay is uneasy as she dreams that bad things will happen to all of them during this excursion...and of course, that she has been there before.
They will be the only four on the island, apparently, and are warned by a creepy pilot (Michael Holmes) that nothing good happens at this island. Like an answer to prayer, David gets his head squeezed off by a trapdoor in a creepy fishing shack. As the others look for David, Kay tells them that he is dead...she dreamed it. Kay is convinced that if she falls asleep again, they will all die horribly. Annoyed at his weird sister, Eric spikes her coffee with sleeping pills and Kay is out like a mangy old dog. A storm hits, and the beautiful Brooke and Eric split up to look for David and more flares. The best pitchfork murder in the history of slasher films and a very ironic fishhook scene await.
Will Kay ever awake? If she does, will whatever is terrorizing the island set its sights on her? If she survives, now with no boyfriend, will Kay begin painting lighthouses and fruit bowls instead of her horrific paintings that no sane person would buy? The kills are quite gory and the end is kind of neat. For some classic 1980s slasher fare, treat yourself to "The Slayer," filmed at Tybee Island, Georgia.

Sunday, October 14, 2018

Bell From Hell, An Insaniac's Revenge

Weird, twisted and creepy! Just the way we like it. Add perverted and unsettling and we have a gem from Spain, 1973's "Bell From Hell" (aka "The Bells"). A standard revenge plot, perhaps, but this one is moved along with strange scene after strange scene. We realize that we are in for a unsettling experience when John (Renaud Verley) explains why he is leaving his job at the slaughterhouse, "I've learned everything I need to know." For what? Oh come on, you can guess.
John is released from the psychiatric hospital on a sort of probation (...this always works out well). Was he really insane, or did his Aunt Marta (Viveca Lindfors) merely want to steal his inheritance? The point is John feels the need for revenge and after getting practice at the slaughterhouse, he heads back to see Aunt Marta and his three lovely cousins, Esther (Maribel Martin), Teresa (Nuria Gemeno), and Maria (Christina von Blanc). He also amasses quite a collection of invasive surgical tools for future use. John has a plan, and his experience at the slaughterhouse and the surgical tools are integral parts of it. The three cousins are no pure flowers, as each of them, including underage Esther, desires taboo sex with him. I will skip the gang rape and the man at the urinal scene, but those scenes drive home this film's effort to make us feel uncomfortable.
The time to enact the plan has come and rape, humiliation, and bees will kick it off...a lot of bees, I should say. Uh oh for John...his Aunt Marta isn't as helpless as her advanced age and wheelchair may suggest. As the three nubile lasses are readied for a most violent and gruesome fate, Aunt Marta's plan is also put into action. Let me not forget to mention the bell. A new bell is being delivered to the town's church and this thing will figure prominent in the end of the film. In fact, director Claudio Guerin, while filming the last scene of this film, was killed when he fell off the church's bell tower...really, I'm not making this up. No spoilers here, but Mr. Guerin's demise was a lot less painful than what John has planned for his aunt and three cousins, or what Aunt Marta has planned for him.
Who will win, or will there be no survivors? Is John insane or are his plans for bloody revenge completely justified?  This one will have you squirming especially when you realize the slaughterhouse scenes will be replayed with the three nubile lasses. For weird Euro-horror, enjoy "Bell From Hell" from Spain.

Friday, October 12, 2018

Fractured, Young Lovers in Distress

It can be difficult to watch. We meet a very pretty young lady and a handsome young man in a horror film. As much as we like them and want them to live happily ever after, we remember this is a horror film and there is still 70 minutes left until the end credits. What could go wrong? Everything! Beset by a horrific force, we cringe as these great looking lovers encounter much peril. Or...have our eyes deceived us? Yep, this is one you will want to pay close attention to.
The aforementioned couple, Rebecca (April Pearson) and Michael (Karl Davies). As they drive on a dark night we get to know them pretty good. Passionate and intense we can see this duo engage in pre-marital sex or antagonize each other into a lover's spat. This night...passionate sex awaits them as they reach this vacation estate in the country. Both are a bit on edge as the evening has contained some slightly weird and unsettling episodes. But wait! They may not be alone. As the sex goes from sweet to slightly more deviant, something or someone in the house may be stalking them.
Despite a flurry of romance and pre-marital sex, both Michael and Rebecca are spooked. Now on edge, more indications suggest something ominous is in the house. A noise here, a noise there, a bloody hand print over there.... Then all hell breaks loose...and that's all for the plot. What happens to Rebecca and Michael is nothing as compared to what will happen to you. Jamie Patterson takes us on a ride which will be rocky and shocking. He'll teach you to be wary of trusting what you see. Not all is as it seems, and yes, it can always get worse. 
Will Rebecca and Michael survive the night and unknown torment? What is in the house and is it hunting them? Wait...how about Alva (Louisa Lytton) and Freyr (Jordan Metcalfe)...why hasn't this review mentioned those two characters? This is a fun and shocking horror story that may also be a twisted love story. For a horrific ordeal with great acting that will take you on quite a journey, enjoy Jamie Patterson's "Fractured." To view the trailer of this film, click on the below link.
Fractured trailer

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

The Night Walker, Barbara Stanwyck- Dream Warrior

The sultry babe has something to say to you. You had it coming. Convinced your lovely wife is having an affair you demand to know who the other guy is. She cuts you to pieces by answering your question, "My lover is only a dream but he's still more of a lover than you!" Ouch! In 1964's "The Night Walker," Barbara Stanwyck's dream may indeed be more real than is good for her. Oh yes, this film was produced and directed by...William Castle!
He's old, grouchy and blind...hardly a good husband. Howard (Hayden Rorke) enjoys tormenting his wife, Irene (Stanwyck). He is convinced she has a lover as she talks in her sleep. In these dreams she is loving some handsome young guy...tall, handsome, and sensitive to her needs. Howard wants to know who it is. He suspects his lawyer, Barry (Robert Taylor). He's handsome and tall. He denies it. Then Boom! A very mysterious laboratory accident blows up Howard...or does it? The body is never found. Did Irene kill him? Barry thinks so. Does she have a lover (hence a motive)?
Irene's dreams continue...first nightmares of Howard returning. Then...her lover (Lloyd Bochner) returns in the dreams. At first he wines and dines her and she doesn't want to wake. Then the lover gets a bit menacing and the sweet dreams become nightmares.  Irene is convinced her dream lover is real and the places he took her to are also real. She asks Barry to help her find out the truth. What follows are ominous nightmares...murder...and maybe a grotesquely burnt Howard.
Is Irene an innocent victim of bad dreams or a conspiracy to drive her mad? Is Howard still alive? Is her dream lover a real person or some nocturnal threat bent on her destruction? This one will keep you guessing and a few more characters will be introduced to increase the mystery. As it becomes apparent that a murderer is involved, we really pull for Irene even though we are not sure of her virtue. For a fast paced mystery in which Barbara Stanwyck demonstrates some great screaming, enjoy "The Night Walker."

Monday, October 8, 2018

The Hideous Sun Demon, Radioactive Scientist Runs Amok

This film from 1958 had such an affect on the ethos of the American southwest that Arizona State University picked it as their mascot for their athletic teams. Ah...1958...we were all still worried about the affects of radiation. Today we peek into our microwave ovens as our TV dinners are cooking. Back then however, insects were growing to the size of school buses and human beings would regress into monsters every time a nuclear test occurred in the Nevada desert . Hence "The Hideous Sun Demon."
With OSHA nowhere to be found Dr. Gilbert McKenna (Robert Clarke, who also directed) drops some radioactive isotopes in his laboratory. As he is rushed to the hospital the doctors and nurses are confused by what they see. Even though Gilbert was exposed to radiation, his skin hasn't melted and he hasn't sprouted tentacles. Seemingly unaffected, a pretty nurse brings Gilbert to the roof for some fresh air...bad idea! In just a few seconds, Gilbert becomes a reptile-man scaring all the patients and nurses as he runs horrified through the hospital. The lizard-man turns back to Gilbert as he comes back inside. With bad insurance, Gilbert is kicked out of the hospital and he finds refuge at a mountain getaway with instructions to stay out of the sun. Can't beat 1950s medical care.
Men will be men...and Gilbert's ability to follow simple instructions must've burned up in the lab accident. Next stop...a run-down bar where Trudy, a buxom blonde lounge singer, in performing. He falls immediately in love with her and takes her to the beach where they have pre-marital sex and watch the sun come up. Yep...lizard-man returns as Trudy sleeps. She is spared, but he runs out on her causing havoc through the countryside. As the nubile lab assistant Ann (Patricia Manning) seeks to get Gilbert help, the problematic radiation-scientist finds his way back to the seedy bar where he will incur the wrath of a hoodlum with a gun and win Trudy back. The buxom Trudy will be run out on again after the lizard-man kills the hoodlum and flees into the oilfields where some sweet Californians will get in his way.
Will Ann be able to help the clumsy scientist or will she end up in a passionate cat-fight with the buxom lounge singer? Will the lizard-man mangle either of these nubile women? Is Gilbert's metamorphosis into a lizard-man Robert Clarke's ominous statement about the duality of man in a nuclear age gone wild? This is a fun one from the days we all feared nuclear annihilation. We have come a long way...with deadlier nukes and so much more of them, we no longer fear nuclear war. Nope...today we are smarter as a collective people and realize throwing plastic bottles away in the trash is much deadlier than radioactive weapons.

Saturday, October 6, 2018

Death Smiles on a Murderer, The Dead Return and She is Mad

We've all done it. Locked in our secret basement laboratories, we have all attempted to create a serum to bring the dead back to life. Many of us have succeeded in bringing certain roadkill back. A mashed squirrel, crushed rat, or a fallen pigeon perhaps. To bring a dead person back to life is a bit more complicated. For example, how do we decide who to bring back? Billions have died throughout world history. In 1973's Italian horror film "Death Smiles on a Murderer" a beautiful woman is brought back. Directed by Joe D'Amato, this film can serve as a warning to all of us amateur mad-scientists that often times the more beautiful among us is often the deadliest.
When we first meet the sultry Greta (Ewa Aulin), she is a corpse. Her loving (a very inappropriate love, I might add) brother Franz (Luciano Rossi) has studied the black arts and has resurrected her. Jump forward a few years. Greta mysteriously shows up at the estate of Walter (Sergio Doria) and Eva (Angela Bo). Greta apparently has amnesia and her coachman is torn to shreds as the stage crashes on their property. Dr. Sturges (Klaus Kinski) restores her to health but notices something strange about Greta's condition. As Sturges returns to his secret lab with some secrets he gleaned from Greta, he then brings a corpse back to life. This experiment's success will have a short-lived success, as...well...you'll see.
Back to the estate. As Greta regains her strength, both Walter and his wife Eva fall in love with her. Eva will invade Greta's bath and have sex with her, and Walter will have sex with her in the stable. Uh oh, Eva becomes jealous and plots Greta's demise. Thinking she has killed Greta, the mysterious beauty returns and the results will be quite bloody. As Greta goes through Italian nobility like crap through a goose, whatever erotic moments Walter and Eva shared with her may come back to haunt them in blood red fashion.
What is the reason for Greta's homicidal mission to Walter and Eva's estate? Where is Greta's brother, Franz? Has she killed him too, or is she seeking to re-unite with her brother/lover? Just what did happen to Dr. Sturges in his secret laboratory? Erotic and gory, this horror story is full of surprises, so pay attention through the last frame. Ewa Aulin is captivating as the ravishing seductress turned monster. For some arousing Giallo, enjoy "Death Smiles on a Murderer."

Thursday, October 4, 2018

Escape From Coral Cove, Asian Swimsuit Models vs. Monster

We have a bloody sea-monster film today from Hong Kong. Actually, 1986's "Escape From Coral Cove" serves as a swimsuit calendar photo-shoot and horror film. Gratuitous to the max with Asian swimsuit models in the surf, jumping around playing volleyball, diving, sailing, cat-fighting, and frolicking in the surf...and being shredded by a weird monster. When not seeking pre-marital sex, our damsels are beset upon by a fiend bent on their destruction.
Okay, a plot...if you must! Hunk Alex (Alex Feng) is driving his red convertible with his GF Chen-Chen (Yin Cheung Joh). Chen-Chen will don a tight, black and leopard-skin swimsuit throughout most of this film. On cue, a helicopter delivers Chen-Chen's sister San-San (Else Chan) and her friend Irene (Yeun-Ching Leung). Alex also seeks pre-marital sex with these two which will really tick-off Chen-Chen. Oh yes, San-San will don a tight, revealing red swimsuit and Irene a white Donald Duck swimsuit. All three ladies will do a lot of frolicking in the surf and San-San and Chen-Chen will go at it as they fight for Alex' affections. Irene isn't interested in Alex, and this will bother the horny two-timer, but Irene has her sights on a mad-scientist wannabe, Dak (Louis Kong).
Back to substantive parts of the plot...our group sails to a beach arousing the attention of a humanoid, underwater monster. It will follow our crew and then set its sights on the gals...not all of them will fare well.  As the gals battle each other, frolic some more in the surf, fight over Alex, and jump around on the sandy beach, the monster moves in. Gratuitous camera shots highlight all of this capturing the gals all wet, rolling around in the sand, and then jumping up and down a lot. Eventually the camera will be able to focus on severed body parts of these women, and their spurting blood.
Will either Irene, Chen-Chen, or San-San survive the wrath of this creature? Will Alex complete his quest to have pre-marital sex with all three of these gals? Does the creature have any other desires with these women other than clawing them to pieces...think Roger Corman films? Gratuitous swimsuit model scenes make "Escape From Coral Cove" a worthwhile take, and oh by the way...its a monster film. Perhaps Roger Corman would have added additional humiliation for our three damsels, but the three women in this film beat any of the 1980s Sports Illustrated swimsuit models. Directed by Terence Chang, "Escape From Coral Cove" is a guilty pleasure you will enjoy...and never talk about if you desire those around you to think you have any semblance of sophistication.

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Endgame- Bronx Lotta Finale, Emanuelle in an Apocalyptic Wasteland

Okay, you are in a bar slugging down a Stella. Life doesn't get any better. Then life does get better. Emanuelle from all those 'Emanuelle' movies walks in and sits next to you. She gives you a look of wanting desire. Uh oh...here's the catch...she can read all your thoughts. Does she give you a spare key to her hotel room? Does she plant a passionate kiss on you? Or does she slap you and reach for her stun-gun? A lot to think about, I know, but in this Italian apocalyptic wasteland film, directed by Joe D'Amato, we will see how a telepathic Emanuelle might behave. Today's feature, "Endgame- Bronx Lotta Finale," starring everyone's favorite Emanuelle, the Indonesian beauty herself, Laura Gemser.
Okay, so she doesn't play the role of Emanuelle in this film, Ms. Gemser's exotic allure is still the highlight of this film. In 2025 most of the Earth has been turned into a radioactive wasteland. A Nazi like government controls a major city. To keep the citizens in line a game-show pits schmucks against a team of hunters tasked to kill them. Ron Shannon (Al Cliver) is reigning champion of this show and he is about to be set loose so the hunt can commence. Oh yes...the mutants. The government wants them exterminated. Lilith (Gemser) is the beautiful leader of a ragtag band of telepathic mutants. They are the next phase of human evolution and they can read minds...which the tyrannical government (and fraternity boys everywhere) fears.
While eluding hunters, Shannon is approached by Lilith. She offers to pay him millions if he will lead the surviving telepathic mutants to safety outside the city. He accepts. Shannon is now on the run with Lilith and her peeps, but the military, the hunters, and a host of evil mutants are in pursuit. Oh yes, the evil mutants...the resemble fish-men, lizard-men, and ape-men. They are regressing as a species and want to tear apart the telepathic ones. Actually, they have more humiliating and carnal plans for Lilith. With machine-guns, grenades, motorcycles, and knives, World War 4 is fought just outside city limits as Shannon seeks to protect and deliver the telepathic ones and also protect the chastity of Emanuelle...I mean Lilith.
Will the next phase of human evolution survive and deliver us all from a the ruling tyrannical government? Will Emanuelle...I mean Lilith, be spared rape an humiliation by the disgusting fish-man mutant? Will Ron Shannon and Lilith hook up and live happily ever after or will she read his man-like thoughts? This is a standard Italian post-apocalypse film but the ravishing Laura Gemser makes it a worthwhile take. Fun at times, and sadly brutal at others, enjoy "Endgame- Bronx Lotta Finale,"