From The Netherlands, 1988's "Amsterdamned." Beautifully filmed in Amsterdam, utilizing the canals, this slasher film has the best motorboat chase ever put on film, and some of the goriest kills ever put in European slasher films. The scene where the bikini babe gets knifed, north to south, will stick with you long after the end credits roll. Great acting and brilliant direction by Dick Maas, discerning slasher film fans may think they have solved the mystery of the killer's identity, but they will constantly have to reassess.
Wednesday, April 27, 2016
Okay, this film, 2015's "Navy SEALs vs. Zombies" is on Netflix as "Navy SEALs: The Battle of New Orleans." The problem with that title is that this film is set in Baton Rouge, with no mention of the Big Easy. Now that we are past that flaw, let us examine the latest zombie apocalypse movie. Yeah, straight to DVD quality, but we do have a zombie film that doesn't turn into a soap opera, some hunk Navy SEALs, and a perky damsel in distress. Oh yes, former Laker and Celtic, Rick Fox as a very tall Vice President. I should say, in this time where no candidates are looking too presidential, Mr. Fox seemed to have the appropriate stagger for a run at the White House.
The Vice President (Fox) is in Baton Rouge just as the zombie apocalypse begins. This outbreak is localized to the Louisiana capital, but the V.P. is holed up in the capitol building with his staff and a babe reporter, Amanda (Stephanie Honore). A Navy SEAL team is mobilized and sent in to recover the V.P. The team is led by Lt. Cunningham (Ed Quinn), and has a new member, A.J. (Damon Lipari). The SEALs reach the V.P., but the entire city is now made up of fast moving zombies.
Uh oh, the SEAL mission has just gotten more complicated. hence the real reason for Rick Fox' visit. There is a super secret CIA lab a mile from the capital building and the scientists in it are working on a cure for the outbreak. Now the SEALs must not only save Rick Fox' political future, but also rescue the scientists and their experiments. Evacuating survivors is job one, and the VP is put on a chopper. However, Amanda sees her chance to break the big story and elects to stay in Baton Rouge in order to get the scoop of a lifetime...if she survives. Will our SEALs complete their mission, and also emerge from this mission fully alive? Will the outbreak be contained to Baton Rouge, and if so, what of the future of Baton Rouge?
|Zombie driving a car|
Monday, April 25, 2016
Slasher wins! Jamie Lee Curtis cemented her status as an iconic scream queen after three films which came out in rapid succession: "Halloween," "Terror Train," and 1980's "Prom Night." As a fitting end to the Disco Era, "Prom Night" killed it off with an ax-wielding insaniac. Though we see plenty of scenes that should've been in "Saturday Night Fever," "Prom Night" has all the elements of a gratuitous slasher film.
Saturday, April 23, 2016
Springtime! Flowers in bloom. Love is in the air. Feeling good? Too bad, we can't have that. If you keep being optimistic and happy, you'll lose your friends....hence 2015's "Estranged." This film will chase all the happy feelings away. A continuous downward spiral into creepiness and insanity is our feature today. Directed by Adam Levins, and featuring the weirdest characters of the year, this is definitely not the feel good film of the millennium.
Thursday, April 21, 2016
Perhaps a creepy ghost story. Or maybe an ominous tale of demonic possession. Or more scientifically, is this a twisted tale of a journey into the mind of a young girl struck with Dissociative Identity Disorder? 2015's "Anguish," based on true events is heavy on the creepy, and our beset protagonist is a spitting image of a young Linda Blair. In fact, much of this film will remind you of segments of "The Exorcist," and maybe a little of "The Evil Dead."
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
Gory, scary, and shot in ominous location in Northumberland (U.K.), we will soon be able to enjoy the short horror film, "Long Gone." After 25 years in law enforcement, I can tell you that nothing keeps a cop up at night more than a missing person or kidnapping case. We know the stats...if not found in the first hour...well....it ain't good. I've been in touch with Dan Douglas, the Director, and he is excited about "Long Gone." He has assembled a terrific and well experienced cast, and secured some really creepy locations. Stay tuned for details regarding a Kickstarter campaign that you may join in order to be a part of this production.
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
Those who despise made for Syfy films by The Asylum, will hate 2015's "Night of the Wild." That's fine, so all those, like me, who love the stuff...stay tuned. Perhaps many will compare this film to "Day of the Animals," but a more accurate description may be, this is Syfy's remake of Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds." Instead of macaws and crows...we have Fifi, Fido, and Spot....or more accurately, Lucifer, Satan, and Killer.
Sunday, April 17, 2016
Not an entirely original plot, a helpless deaf-mute babe beset by a psychopath, but an appealing tale, nonetheless. Throw in an isolated cabin in the woods and we have a classic theme that never gets tiring...at least to me. The first few minutes of this film, by way of warning, is heavy on Apple product placements. It's as if without Apple products, deaf-mutes would be helpless. No worries, though, our fiend will go through Apple devices like crap through a goose. So let us take a peek at 2016's "Hush."
Friday, April 15, 2016
Ahhh, Manitoba! Where the men are men and the moose...well....are a hockey team. Today we look at a film set in Manitoba (filmed in England), "Fiend Without a Face" from 1958. Originally Rated X in Britain (Prudes!), our movie today has slimy brain creatures and a beautiful damsel in distress (almost a gratuitous shower scene), atomic and radioactive scares, and some great clay-mation and stop-motion f/x.
Wednesday, April 13, 2016
1979's "Prophecy" opened as a can't miss horror film....then missed badly. In it's favor, this monster film was directed by the great John Frankenheimer (The Train, French Connection 2), starred Talia Shire (Rocky, The Godfather), and was written by David Seltzer (The Omen). The undoing? The creature looked like a giant, melting ice cream sundae, the characters were not likable, and the preachy nature of "Prophecy" turned off movie audiences looking for a diversion to the President Carter Era malaise.
Monday, April 11, 2016
I know! "Casablanca" will always go down as a near miss on the list of greatest films of all time. Most critics agree that Ingrid Bergman was too frumpy and there needed to be a couple of exotic dance scenes to make that film a classic. Hence we look at 1996's "BarbWire." The 1990s were a decade made for Pamela Anderson and "Baywatch." Though, neither survived that decade, it was part of America's playful identity for so many years. A remake of "Casablanca," this time with no frumpiness and lots of gratuitous dances and nudity, is also part of Ms. Anderson's 1990s legacy.
Saturday, April 9, 2016
....creepy kids in long dark hallways....dripping water....the number four.... Yep! We look at an Asian horror film today. From Hong Kong, 2013's "Rigor Mortis" (aka "Geung Si") Designed to make you uncomfortable and send you to bed with the willies, our feature today is an icky ghost story set in a dilapidated apartment building. Vampires, evil ghost twins, curses, and martial arts...however deep this horror flick is, it contains something that will please any fan of the Asian horror sub-genre.
Thursday, April 7, 2016
A couple of months ago we looked at Kidnapping Mr. Heineken in which some amateurs actually pulled off a brilliant kidnapping. Today, we examine 2015's "VANish" in which some amateurs see their kidnapping plot blow up in bright red gore. In a most energetic film, we'll see shotgun carnage, electric saw carnage, ice-pick carnage, and machete carnage (which is appropriate because DANNY TREJO is in this film).
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
From our buddies at The Asylum....2016's "Little Dead Rotting Hood." This film will be severely maligned, but if a sultry, red-caped, zombie-babe with fangs and a sword taking on a 15 foot CGI werewolf sounds appealing to you, perhaps this film is worth a look. Throw in a really neat flame-thrower, lots of shotguns, ancient prophecies, and lots of hormonal college kids being shredded for pre-marital sex, and we are in business....oh yes....lots of werewolves.
Sunday, April 3, 2016
2016's "Uncaged" is, what we'll call, a minor werewolf film. Hardly on the scale of "An American Werewolf in London," but most enjoyable, nonetheless. Small budget and diminutive special f/x, this indie impresses with fantastic acting, a nice story, and great direction by Daniel Robbins. In what, at first glance, may seem like a minor monster movie, what we actually have is a few different plot elements meshed, and finally meeting in a bloody finale.
Friday, April 1, 2016
...actually, beautiful, sweaty, buxom, underwear clad Asian babes chased, and usually eaten by zombies! Do you really need to know anymore? Made and set in Taipei....2014's "Zombie Fight Club." Bad CGI, even worse dubbing, but a really fun film. Classic lines galore, for example; when a drug dealer kills an Asian-babe zombie who just so happens to be eating his brother, he yells to her, "He may be chubby, but he's my brother." Unlike many of modern zombie films, this one remains a zombie film without trying to be a soap opera with zombies in the background.