In Utero, Offspring in Peril

Naked, vulnerable, and preyed upon. Stalwarts of the Old Testament knew their devotion and obedience to 'The Word of God" was necessary fore their own salvation as well as that of their offspring and grandchildren. As history progressed through the ages, religious denominations were set up to provide order and structure for this worship. Humans are fallen beings and our creations, though well meaning, set up rote practices and ritualistic sacraments, and true relationships to God were not prioritized. Man's laziness and desire for utility influenced our denominations as it is easier for us to follow orders and obey a set number of rules than to cleanse ourselves spiritually and prepare for divine instruction direct from God's mouth. Hence 2019's "In Utero," a David Teixeira film that combines "Mater" and "Ouroboros."

She's a modern woman, played wonderfully by Lea N'Kaoua, who is naked and vulnerable in rural France. Left this way by the neglect of her ancestors. This neglect separated generations from God and now our French woman is vulnerable to false deities. Her perceived independence may have shielded her from domineering men and a patriarchal society, but has also steered her away from an intimate relationship with a God that could provide her eternal salvation. Ms. N'Kaoua's beautiful woman did not have the Old Testament luxury of the prayers and guardianship of devout ancestors. Now she is of age, and evil deity-wannabes are ready to move in, just like they did to her ancestor in "Mater."

She will be pursued by something horrific. The burning and deprivation of Hell is characterized for us in many artistic metaphor, but we're told that true Hell is merely the separation from God. Our nubile babe has that separation and the horror has manifested itself. The terrible rape of her ancestor has created a timeless demon who is very greedy. The monstrous force has transcended generations and is now hunting beauty and youth (beauty and youth apart from God). In a setting of ruins (our selfish and materialistic world?), the beauty is hounded, hunted, and pursued by a mystical collector bent on more vicious rape and ruination.

Mr. Teixeira's film is horrific as we see the hunt close up. Watching a beautiful young woman speedily heading to a scandalous and humiliating fate is difficult. We may yell out, "No...please...she's good!" To be good in God's eyes varies from what we humans consider "good," and perhaps our true horror at "In Utero" is the realization that the nubile beauty is going through a fate which endangers all of us. Sure, hang on to your rites and rituals...but beware, if those acts don't seek to bring you closer to God, well...your denominational adherence may lead you to a fate of being ravaged by carnal evils and eternal torture. For a horror that indeed may be awaiting you, take in David Teixeira's "In Utero" (a 24 minute short horror film).

Kraa! The Sea Monster, Sea Monster, Space-Babes, Space-Hunks...

We have a good one from Full Moon Entertainment today. In addition to a rubber-suited sea monster, we have some teeny-bopper space-babes and space-hunks (Justin Bieber and Ariana Grande fans will adore them). More importantly, for those of us fed up with CGI, this film will be a nice elixir. So as miniature models of cities and power-lines are destroyed by a laser breathing behemoth, we can down an Old Milwaukee and just say, "Niiiiiiiiiice!"

Lord Doom (Michael Guerin)...think a low-budget Darth Vader...wants Earth as his new playroom. To do this he needs to wipe out the population, so he sends a sea monster, Kraa, to destroy everyone. The Planetary Space Patrol is onto him and hunk Monroe (Robert J. Ferrelli) commands two babes, Curtis (Alison Lohman) and Able (Candida Tolentino). These beauties look more like a college dance-team than protectors of the universe...oh yeah, Curtis has psychic powers. Anyway, Kraa begins his rampage and Lord Doom seriously damages the space-patrol ship putting our beauties in mortal danger.

Before being disabled the space patrol sends one of their agents, Mogyar (J.W. Perra)...think E.T....to Earth to kill Kraa. Mogyar will enlist the help of biker Bobby (R.L. McMurry) and diner owner Alma (Teal Merchande). These three will have to outmaneuver a bunch of government spooks in order to formulate a strategy to stop Kraa's path of carnage and kill it. As the beauties in the space patrol desperately try to fix their ship and join the fight, Lord Doom prepares his invasion. Our under-armed trio races to enact a long-shot plan and the nubile Curtis begins to use her psychic powers in order to slow Kraa.

Will the very good looking space-patrol save Earth and then come to Disney World to compete in a dance-team competition? Will the little E.T. be able to outsmart and defeat the Godzilla rip-off? Will Lord Doom be able to capture either Curtis or Able and turn this into a Roger Corman exploitation-fest? This is a fun one, as we expect from Full Moon. Directed by Aaron Osborne and Dave Parker, "Kraa! The Sea Monster" is a must see for big-monster movie fans.

Alien Predator, Skylab, Figure Skating, and Toothy Aliens

We've all had the argument before.  You want to watch a bloody horror movie and your spouse wants to watch figure skating.  Yep, last time the horror film won out and fairness dictates that figure skating will grace the TV this evening. Poppycock! Fairness is for losers! I think I got that from a John Maxwell book. Here is the compromise. 1985's "Alien Predator" is a bloody alien invasion flick starring professional figure skater (Bond girl and the star of "Ice Castles") and skater for The Ice Capades, Lynn-Holly Johnson.

Skylab crashes into Spain (in reality it crashed into Australia). A mad-scientist's experiments get loose. Five years later two nerds, Damon (Dennis Christopher) and Michael (Martin Hewitts) are taking an RV through Spain with Sam (Johnson). Meanwhile Dr. Tracer (Luis Prendes) is sent by NASA as his experiments have taken over animals and people with deadly results. NASA's secret lab has been overrun by the alien experiment. Meanwhile, our two nerds seek pre-marital sex with Sam, but Sam merely wants a good time. As every person and animal is taken over by this alien the results are bloody.  The alien incubates in the life-form and after two days explodes out of their face,

As the alien goes through Spaniards like crap through a goose, Dr. Tracer teams up with our three tourists.  As possessed people now try to kill these three, our team must re-enter the NASA lab, fend off angry aliens, capture a canister which could contain the cure, and resume the competition of who gets to have pre-marital sex with the sultry skater.

Will Sam reject her two nerd friends in favor of a tall, dark Spaniard?  Are there any Spaniards left? Will Ms. Johnson have an opportunity for a figure-skating solo in the midst of an alien invasion? The alien is toothy and vicious and the possessed Spaniards are menacing.  Mr. Prendes does well as the mad-scientist, as well.  For another example of how NASA has strayed from it's mission of capturing our imagination with space breakthroughs, see "Alien Predator."

Decadent Evil II, Vampires and Strippers

Strippers? Okay, sorry...exotic dancers. Throw in a lot of str...eh...I mean exotic dancers and then a lot of vampires...and then some vampires who just happen to be exotic dancers, and then you have a Full Moon feature from Charles Band. Yep, the very gratuitous "Decadent Evil II" (see my review of  Decadent Evil ). Like its predecessor, "Decadent Evil 2" is fun and gratuitous as far as cheesecake goes. So if your bride-to-be has you on a short leash and, and won't let you out of your house the night before the wedding, you'll do well by watching this film instead.

Babe vampire Sugar (Jill Michelle) and her human BF Dex (Daniel Lennox) are on the trail of the new vampire clan leader. They travel with mini-mutant-vampire Marvin, who is locked in a cage. They also travel with a large ice chest containing the corpse of their friend, and vampire hunter, Ivan (Ricardo Gil). Some occult tools lead them to Little Rock and a tidy "gentleman's club" (strip joint). There they must find the clan leader, take some of his blood, and use that blood to revive Ivan...then kill the clan leader.

At this point we get a lot of gratuitous...exotic dancing. The main feature is Lena (Jessica Morris), who is quite the...exotic dancer. But is she human or vampire? Dex gets a job tending bar at this club and Sugar gets a job as...that's right, an exotic dancer. Her and Lena become semi-friends but we can smell a cat-fight brewing, and it smells better than garlic. As Sugar gets closer to the truth and Dex revives Ivan (no longer human), the vampires counter and put Sugar, the human dancers, and a very alluring lingerie shop sales girl in much peril. The nudity and spurting blood will be plentiful as the pretty will die horribly.

Is the nubile Sugar and her hunk BF capable of taking down the vampire clan leader? Could Lena be the clan leader, thereby setting up an ultimate cat-fight that includes kinky lingerie? Are lingerie clad babes, covered in spurting blood as their garments are ripped off, too gratuitous a plot device even for this blog? Okay, probably not. For some prurient fun, see "Decadent Evil II," one of the best sequels ever made.

The One Survivor of Conifer, The Apocalyptic Man

Nuclear war? A biological disaster? Mother Nature's vengeance? Something happened and what exactly isn't the important question. In a metaphoric sense this may be an important film about loneliness, desperation, and loss. In a literal sense, well, we will be looking for a cause, perhaps a creature oozing purple goo, and a means to end the loneliness. Today we look at Curt Dennis' "The One Survivor of Conifer."

The setting greets us, Conifer after the apocalypse. A ghost town with rubbish and remnants strewn over the landscape. Not a creature is stirring, except Austin Biggs (Johnny Maya)...and maybe a creature. Everyone is gone and Ausitn is doing a yeoman's job at keeping order. There is order, rules, and an imaginary friend in the form of a Teddy bear. Uh oh, the food is running out...and so is the drinking water. At first, Austin's imagination is his friend, keeping him stimulated, and helping him remember some benign parts of the former society.  His instinct for survival and companionship motivate him to build a radio and try to communicate...but there is no one.

Wait! A voice! Someone's there! Luke (Jonah Paull) answers. He's an eight year old boy and his parents have left and not come back. Luke is afraid and alone and Austin relishes being his 'rock' even though the two will never meet. The friendship they build is touching and sad as we the viewer understand Austin may be incapable of rescuing Luke. Uh oh, just like Austin's plight, Luke appears to have some sort of monster lurking nearby. Purple ooze seems to be developing, or drooled, by something and what it means, or where it comes from can't be good. As madness and paranoia invade Austin's psyche, both him and Luke's plight get more perilous. Are the two survivors merely keeping each other company as their terms of survival come to a hideous end, or is there hope?

The increasing madness of Austin make us ask if he is actually communicating with a youngster, or is it all in his mind? How about the purple stuff...what is it? Are Austin and Luke being spied on, or hunted, or falling prey to their own minds? The performances are terrific and Curt Dennis does a fine job in keeping this apocalyptic human study fast-paced and edgy. For a low-budget masterpiece of a character study, see "The One Survivor of Conifer."
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Brain of Blood, The Perils of Immortality

To live forever! Sound good? Rutger Hauer wanted it in "Blade Runner." Dracula desired it. Even Hitler strove for it, at least in many neat movies. Think about it. Do we really want the Hitlers', or the Draculas', or even moralistic robots to be with us forever? I know we're all raised to be polite, but think of many of your deceased relatives...do you really wish they could be with us forever?  How about the Ayatollah Khomeini? Did we really want him around with us forever? Hence 1971's "Brain of Blood," an Al Adamson epic.

Amir (Reed Hadley) rules a mid-eastern country called Khalid. He's about to die and that would be a shame because he is so loved and revered that his country would be sad if he died. Hence a plot is hatched so Amir will live forever (yeah, this will work out nicely). Enter the babe Tracy (Regina Carrol) and his doctor, Bob (Grant Williams). They have arranged it that upon his death he will be flown to the U.S. and the laboratory of mad-scientist Dr. Trenton (Kent Taylor). Trenton will remove his brain and transplant it into another body. The other body? Details...why worry about details! He dies...and is delivered to Trenton's lab. Trenton removes his brain. Uh oh...a body is needed. The idiot ghoul Gor (John Bloom), with his brawn and  hideous face, is charged with this job...he fails. Unfortunately for Gor...well, you guessed it...his hulking and ugly body will be the new home for Amir.

Oh yeah, Dorro (Angelo Rossitto), an insane dwarf and Trenton aide has a collection of babes chained up in the downstairs dungeon. I know...who doesn't? Blood for the operation is supplied by these babes in bondage, but the sultry Katherine (Vicki Volante) escapes. Bad news for Amir's delegation, they don't fit into Trenton's plans for world domination and he has them rubbed out. Amir wakes in the body of the hideous Gor...now he's half statesman and half half-wit. Meanwhile, Katherine is able to join forces with Amir's original doctor, Bob. The two fall in love, and discover Trenton's plan. As the new Amir, or Gor, plays with toys and spouts pacifist salutations, Trenton plots world domination.

Just how does Trenton plan to use the half-wit/pacifist to help him rule the planet?  Can the two lovebirds, Katherine and Bob, stop him before Trenton and Gor/Amir return to the throne in Khalid? Given the geniuses that rule countries in the middle-east today (I guess we can throw Europe in there, too...or for that matter....stop! No politics here today)? Will the sultry Regina Carrol be the love interest or delegated to a damsel in distress to the statesman/half-wit? Perhaps that last question is a pertinent one for any single women in modern society. For some schlock and scary fun, see "Brain of Blood."

Necromancer, Demon Revenge

Where does a gal go for some vicious revenge? Guys acting like guys? Maybe taking more liberties than they should? Just call (213) REVENGE. No, really. Call that number and be hooked up with a demon from Hell, just waiting to castrate those guys who behaved like pigs. Hence 1988's "Necromancer," directed by Dusty Nelson.

Julie (Elizabeth Kaitan) is a sweet girl, an acting major in college. Okay, she looks sweet but is all about pre-marital sex with either her professor (Russ Tamblyn) or her BF Erik (John Tyler), but we'll go with sweet. One day she is viciously raped by Paul (Stan Hurwitz), Carl (Edward A. Wright), and Allan (Shawn Eisner). These jocks are well connected at the university and Julie is afraid to go to the police. An ad on the bulletin board in the student union seeks those wanting revenge (just call the aforementioned number). Julie does and goes to see Lisa the Necromancer. For $20, the Necromancer conjures up a revenge spell from Hell...in a very colorful scene.

Okay, here's the deal, unbeknownst to Julie, a demon Julie dressed like a seductress appears to her tormentors. It strips and begins sexually servicing them before castrating and killing them. The real Julie sees all this through supposed nightmares. The Necromancer is having so much fun that it doesn't stop at rapists. This won't bode well for the frisky professor. Now Julie is terrified, realizing she really never wanted anyone to be murdered...too late...the Necromancer is out of control. Now the clean-cut (okay, maybe not so clean-cut) Julie must battle her evil demon and we can all get ready for a vicious and alluring cat-fight.

Will Eric the BF tick off Julie, thereby making him Necromancer bait? If Harvey Weinstein had seen this movie, would there be a need for the now defunct #MeToo movement? If the sort of clean-cut Julie prevails and defeats the demon Julie, will her proclivity for pre-marital sex increase or decrease? "Necromancer" is fine 1980s horror and Elizabeth Kaiton plays to the camera very well. For you ladies there will be some gratuitous beefcake, and for you guys, the demon Lisa sheds her garments very fast. Enjoy "Necromancer," a twisted morality tale.