Monday, August 10, 2020

Red nights, Femme Fatales Behaving Badly

A sultry French assassin...A sultry Chinese torture/erotica vixen...a sultry French art thief...a sultry Chinese art thief...and the brute men who want them dead...what a formula. Forget about the men, with these many femme fatales in one film, odds are they will kill each other off. Oh yeah...add in a mysterious poison that can heighten an orgasm 100 times and we have 2010's "Red Nights," directed by Julien Carbon and Laurent Courtiaud.
As our story begins, Chinese beauty Tulip (Kotone Amimiya) arrives in Shanghai to meet the sultry Carrie (Carrie Ng). Tulip pays her a valuable jewel and in return, Carrie brings her to a torture/erotica chamber where Tulip will undergo a suffocation/erotica experience. Tulip gets off on it and asks for more...bad move. Carrie complies but this time, guts Tulip during the next orgasm. Enter French assassin babe Catherine (Frederique Bel). She murders her arms dealing partner and takes command of an arms deal. She steals an antique box and tries to sell it in Shanghai. Enter Sandrine (Carole Brann), a French babe in Hong Kong. She'll double cross Catherine and have another Chinese babe, Flora (Maria Chen) shoot and kill Catherine.
Uh oh...Carrie wants the antique box and brutally murders Flora to get it. Uh oh again, Catherine survives her own murder and wants revenge. Now the French assassin hunts Carrie and Sandrine. Uh oh again, Carrie hunts Catherine and Sandrine. You see, in the antique box is a first century poison which heightens orgasms, increases pains and paralyses. Now Carrie has the poison and she will use it on Sandrine in an elongated and ornate torture scene steeped with sexual arousal and pain. As Catherine and Carrie continue their war, the two beauties seem destined for something awful...if not alluring.  A word of warning, Sandrine's orgasmic fate will have you turning your head.
Just what does Carrie want with this orgasmic poison? Do any of these lovely femme fatales have even the remotest shot at surviving this film? Does the moral bankruptcy of the Chinese and French vixens indicate that Europe's influence in the molding of modern day China will only serve the ruination of any Asia claim to dominance? Okay, throw out that last question. Alluring, bloody, and highly sadomasochistic...yet, most enjoyable. For a weird and satisfying thriller, see "Red Nights."

Saturday, August 8, 2020

Bloody Moon, Nubile Babes Naked and Bloody

The Oxford English Dictionary defines 'Euro-Trash' as a European film style in which nubile and naked babes hop around and are slashed while in the throes of pre-marital sex or other naughty endeavors. This very scientific definition may present an over generalized picture of true 'Euro-Trash,' however, 1981's Jesus Franco film from Spain, "Bloody Moon," fits it well.
The grotesquely disfigured Miguel (Alexander Waechter) stabs a nude and nubile babe to death as he tries to rape her. This gets him five years in an insane asylum. After that, his sultry sister Manuela (Nadja Gerganoff) claims him and will be his guardian. Miguel and Manuela love each other ...in fact the brother and sister love each other more than any brother and sister should. Manuela brings Miguel back to the women's language school, which she is an administrator.. It is also the scene of the murder. There, every language student is a sultry Euro-babe, just bursting at the seems to rip off their clothes and engage in pre-marital sex.
Also arriving is Angela (Olivia Pascal), a real Euro-doll. Every potential rapist and killer drool over her. One by one, her sultry friends are killed in acts of pre-marital sex and the killer let's her know she is next. No one believes Angela and the bodies of her friends never show up. Now as her bestie Inga (Jasmin Losensky) is decapitated with an industrial granite saw (and what a beautiful thing that was to behold), Angela is truly next. Decapitations, impalement, immolation,  and poisonous snakes will all beset the lovelies at the school. Suspects? Everyone...including Miguel and...yes...the over amorous Manuela.
As some uber-sultry babes die horribly in states of nudity, Angela runs a lot and screams nicely. As the killer closes in on the ravishing babe, the corpses start showing up, playing havoc with her sanity. Is Miguel the killer, or is that too easy? Since this is Euro-Trash, may the killer be a demented lesbian with a weird fetish? Is this Jesus Franco film a thinly veiled metaphor for the misogyny contained in the Brexit movement's desire to separate from the EU? Yeah...probably not. In any event, if watching lovely Euro-actresses in the nude, having pre-marital sex, and getting cut up is your thing...then enjoy "Bloody Moon."

Wednesday, August 5, 2020

Attack of the Unknown, Space Vampires vs. SWAT

We're doomed. If just ten percent of this country loses internet and smart phone capability...we're gone! Can you imagine...a five trillion dollar stimulus that won't work...no toilet paper...no fantasy football...the end of the world. Sure...50 years ago or 200 years ago, Americans could survive anything...not now. Throw in the rest of the civilized world into the mix...it'll be scary. Technology used to help us get to the moon and cure disease...now technology facilitates the ability to send porn and erotic pictures instantly overseas. If the space vampires do attack, we're doomed...or are we? Let us take a look at 2020's "Attack of the Unknown," directed by Brandon Slagle.
An LAPD SWAT team is raiding a building to capture Cartel boss Hades (Robert LaSardo). After a bloody gunfight, Commander Maddox' (Douglas Tait) team wins out and captures Hades. The FBI moves in and takes charge. This ticks off Maddox and his men. Vernon (Richard Greico), one of those men, will be diagnosed with incurable cancer. Now the team is asked to transfer Hades to another jail...and the fun begins. An alien invasion besets L.A. Huge monster aliens with tentacles strike and suck the blood out of humans. Spaceships miles in length hover over all major cities. The SWAT team's operation to transfer Hades is interrupted.
As all internet and phone service is shut down by the UFOs, and awe struck Californians are bled dry...Maddox and his men are holed up in a dilapidated jail. We should mention Hannah (Jolene Andersen), a SWAT lady...beautiful and tough. Her job is to assemble 1950s radios from parts in order to find help. The terminal Vernon isn't dead yet and his doomsday logic and back to basics mentality may just give this SWAT team a chance at survival. The monsters descend from the ships, suck humans dry, and find the old jail where our SWAT team is guarding Hades. Yep...they get in...and find a resistance that has eschewed 2020 technology that will prove to be a formidable foe. Frightening, inspiring, and heartbreaking will be this epic battle between human and monster.
Will a dying hero be the key to the furtherance of human life on this planet? Are what we believe to be our greatest technological advances merely a curse that ensures our ruination? Is being bled dry a good metaphor for where we are going as a civilization as impersonal smart technology replaces the humanity that makes us...well...human? Wonderful special and creature f/x combined with some gritty and strong characters (Mr. Greico is fantastic and so is Tara Reid in the backstory...and A+ for Ms. Andersen) make this a compelling 'end-of-the-world' epic. For a convicting tale that may make you realize the value of the humanity that is still inside all of us, see Brandon Slagle's "Attack of the Unknown." 

Tuesday, August 4, 2020

Onechanbara: The Movie, Samurai Babes and Zombies

What is it about the Japanese that they go goo-goo over a sultry bikini babe with a Samurai sword dueling against another sultry Samurai babe clad in a schoolgirl outfit? Throw in thousands of zombies, a leather clad motorcycle babe with a shotgun, and a mad scientist and we have 2008's "Onechanbara: The Movie." Probably a graphic novel series or an Anime subject, this film will see a lot of feisty Asian babes in much peril as they fight a zombie outbreak.
Aya (Eri Otoguro) is the aforementioned bikini babe. Her, and her trusty sidekick Katsuji (Tomohiro Waki) scourge the post apocalyptic wasteland battling zombies. Their goal is to find mad-scientist Dr. Sugita (Taro Suwa), who's experiments began the scourge. Oh yes...Aya also seeks her evil sister, Saki (Chise Nakamura), who killed their father. While repelling a zombie horde, Aya and Katsuji are almost overtaken when the aforementioned motorcycle babe enters. Reiko (Manami Hashimoto) has her own sob story, but her shotgun saves Aya and Katsuji.
Now the trio head to Sugita's laboratory complex. The trio will be beset by more zombie hordes and the two gals will look so alluring in a bikini or leather garb as they slay thousands. The backstories of the three are told and they are grim ones. Meanwhile, Sugita continues his experiments and has made Saki into a superhuman Samurai fighter. As the trio near the evil complex, a billion (slight exaggeration) await for them to enter the building. A mad orgasm of zombie carnage, bikini gratuity, and alluring leather accompany us through their battle with a mega-zombie horde. Now Sugita has the trio just where he wanted them, but he never counted on their spunk.
Why does Dr. Sugita lay a trap for Aya, and what are his plans for her? Will Reiko, the leather clad motorcycle babe eventually branch off into her own set of graphic novels or Anime features? Is Japan's affinity for this kind of gratuitous and hyper-sexual entertainment a key to their superior intelligence...at least when it comes to a Japan-America comparison? Gratuitous and pleasing ...heartbreaking and bloody...for a raucus good time with a lot of allure, see "Onechanbara: The Movie."

Sunday, August 2, 2020

Cam-Girl, Exotic Performer Beset By Psycho

Ah yes...strippers! Oh, I'm sorry...I mean exotic dancers. Yep...in movies they are all intelligent women victimized by a male dominated world, unable to get fair shakes. Yep, they are all trying to raise their baby daughters and the only money they can earn...well...is to exotic dance. Oh yes, they all aspire to go to law school, or even better, medical school. Anyone buy that? The killer in 2016's "Cam-Girl" doesn't.
Gessica (Erin Cline) fits the above description. Interestingly enough, she is hardly a sympathetic character. Her on-line channel, by subscription only, is a scam. Men see her dance and strip while having their credit card info stolen. Anyway, her ex-boyfriend Ben (Joe Coffey) is a computer whiz and desires to get back together with her. She does her performing as her baby girl sleeps in a crib in the next room. Internet subscribers can even chat with her. Oh! Did I mention a serial killer known as "The Box Cutter Killer" is striking young beauties in the area?
Then Gessica gets a chat message threatening her life. She's frightened but ultimately un-affected. Then the guy calls her on her cellphone. The call will last the remaining duration of the film as the caller is also a sniper. Anytime Gessica disobeys her order, he fires a warning shot. Now she is at his mercy. He seeks to humiliate Gessica by forcing her to call all her ex-boyfriends and confess her indiscretions to them. She tries to draw information out of him but he is pretty smart. He has also hijacked her internet and phone. He'll send Gessica a video of him slitting the throat of her former lesbian lover, Destiny (Aurelia Riley). As our killer gets more and more unhinged, it is obvious he plans to cut Gessica up into pieces unless she can outsmart him.
Just how does our killer know so much about the non-noble Gessica? What are his ultimate plans for Gessica, and does he plan to put her demise on-line? Will this film have us sympathizing with the killer as more and more of Gessica's morality flaws are revealed? The stripper...er, I mean, exotic dancer community might be offended by this film...but...who cares? For a gratuitous character study, see "Cam-Girl," directed by Curt Wiser.

Friday, July 31, 2020

The Bird with the Crystal Plumage, Razor Shreds Italian Women

For every stunning babe in Italy...there is a straight razor looking to mar her. Hence...the logic of Giallo...Italian sexploitation. 1970's "The Bird with the Crystal Plumage," directed by Dario Argento, is the classic Italian psycho horror film with a lot of cheesecake slashed. In this one, the victims are all sultry Italian women and their demises will be quite bloody. A straight forward plot with some really neatly deviant and weird characters highlight this one.
Sam (Tony Musante), is an American writer (of boring books) in Italy to find inspiration for future plots. He brings his GF Julia (Suzy Kendall) with him. She's pretty useless except for pre-marital sex. One night, while walking past an art museum, he sees a killer clad in black trying to gut a beautiful woman.The woman, Monica (Eva Renzi), barely survives as Sam scares away the attacker.  Inspector Morosini (Enrico Maria Salerno) is on the case. Her attacker tried to make Monica his fourth victim. The previous three were also attractive women who died in states of undress or helplessness by razor or knife.
Morosini eventually figures out that Sam isn't the killer and releases him. Sam...always looking for a good plot...decides to play detective, He researches the victims and tries to formulate a suspect. Meanwhile the killer calls him and orders him to go back to America or he'll gut Julia. Other than being a babe, Julia is quite obnoxious and useless...but Sam likes sex with her. Now a piece of macabre artwork gives Sam some interesting leads and will introduce him to a creepy artist. As Sam begins to make headway in his case, the killer makes his way over to an unguarded Julia.
Will Julia be disemboweled by this Italian slasher? Will anyone mind? Is the depraved eroticism of some of the murders a clue to the motive? Sultry babes either dying horribly or in much peril highlight this Giallo offering. For some good slasher action and a lot of European cheesecake, see Dario Argento's "The Bird with the Crystal Plumage."

Wednesday, July 29, 2020

Kiss of the Vampire, Vampire Wars and a Classy Dame

Sultry babes are a staple of this blog. When a sultry babe is also a classy dame...that's a bonus! Having too much class, and when beauty has refinement, the risk of boredom looms. Fortunately, the classy dame is accompanied by hungry vampire hunks and misbehaving vampire babes, a blood war, and mad scientists. Okay, we have irrelevant midgets and an incompetent vampire hunter, too, but vampire babes and the proverbial classy dame rule 2009's "Kiss of the Vampire" (aka "Immortally Yours"), directed by Joe Tornatore.
Estelle (Kat Hawkes) oozes class and glamour. Vampire clan leader Alex (Daniel Goddard) sees her at the opera and quickly moves in after Estelle's fiance passes out. Now Estelle and Alex will begin an uneasy romance, as Estelle is clueless about his affinity for blood. Meanwhile, beauties in the city are being abducted by vampires, for food...and also a weird group headed by Victor Price (Eric Etebari). Victor wants eternal life...or to be a vampire. Oh yeah, Estelle's dad is a mad scientist working on a way to achieve immortality. Now the vampire clan is upset as they believe Alex' romance with the classy mortal will endanger their anonymity.
The vampire clan parties hard and their babe vampires are quite frisky.  You may disagree, but my favorite was Sylvia (Miranda Kwok). Along comes a vampire hunter (Matthew Hues) to help the cops hunt the bloodsuckers. He'll be useless. Now Alex wants to be mortal so he can marry Estelle. I hope she will age well. Now Victor finds out that Estelle's dad is also treating Alex and that curing Alex may also mean Victor can be immortal...just go with it. Now Victor plans for everyone's death and Estelle keeps looking classy and radiant.
Yep...a lot here. The vampire babes, especially Sylvia, and, of course, the classy Estelle highlight this film. A lot of nubile babes will be torn apart and so will a few hunks. War ensues between the cops and the vampires...and the vampire babes will dance around a lot in slinky party gowns...not that the two are related. Will Sylvia, the trashy vampire babe, and the classy Estelle get into a cat-fight with each other? Why do so many so-called immortals in these vampire films die horribly? Has any other film used incompetent vampire-killers as a plot device? The story is a complicated one, but see "Kiss of the Vampire" for its allure and glamour...and slutty vamps.