Shark Island, Bikini Models Shredded

Okay, we have a shark movie.  Yes, a lot of peeps will be eaten by sharks. Yes there is a plot to all this. But most of all we have a gratuitous film about bikini models in great peril.  Many of the babes, Giallo style, will die horribly.  Consider this one the magnum opus of Erin Alvey O'Sullivan!  Sure, some cynics may actually call this one the magnum opus of Poi Haywood!  Who are these women? Bikini babes! Here's a bonus...Michael Pare is in this and he plays a PTSD ridden crackpot.  Today we look at 2024's "Shark Island," directed by Stephen Scruffy Edgewood. 

Supermodel Juliet (O'Sullivan) flies to Thailand to do a shoot with a $10 million rare necklace. Don't ask.  Joining her on the shoot are Thai supermodel Remmy (Haywood), Russian beauty Nadya (Alexandra Merle), and Sky (Zara Dragon). Oh! You'll like this...Sky and Nadya are bisexual. Sharks don't care. Meeting them is local Dinah (Selina Wiesmann), who could be a supermodel, and takes a liking to Juliet. She is a gofer for the models. The models will be boated to Shark Island for the shoot. No cell service there. Zack (Paul Collett) is their security guy, and the security guy for the necklace. Anton (Wayne Han) is the photographer who no one trusts and Bret (Russell Geoffrey Banks) is the safety diver who will protect the babes from the sharks.

Okay...gratuitous photo shoots follow. The bikinis are fantastic. Sky and Nadya will find one another. Paul and Juliet seem to bond nicely. Anton and Bret yell at everyone. Oh!  Hoodlums are on the island and tried to kill Charlie (Pare). Let's forget about this plot device, it really is not important. The gals go goo-goo over this necklace and someone steals it. Who?  Now the babes start dying. Butcher knives, sharks, and appendicitis are rough on cheesecake.  Juliet keeps her coolness and looks great in this blue bikini thing. Sharks don't care...they are hungry. Sharks eat more people and the bikini babes look great posing and dying.  Okay, that's enough.

Just what does the PTSD-ridden Charlie have to do with this plot?  Will any of the bikini babes make it to the end credits?  Just what is the deal with this $10 million necklace?  As far as cheesecake goes, this is the best film of 2024.  For a gratuitous good time with bikini models, Michael Pare...and sharks, see "Shark Island."