Wednesday, July 15, 2020

The Thirst, Drug Addicts to Vampire Blood Addicts

This just may be the best vampire film you have never seen. Poignant commentary about addiction is interspersed with spurting blood, Japanese style, deviant orgies showered in blood, and strip club massacres (that's right, plural). Many of the vampire victims will be nude or clad only in naughty undies. 2006's "The Thirst," directed by Jeremy Kasten, is our feature today.
Maxx (Matt Keeslar) is a schmuck recovering addict. His girlfriend, Lisa (Clare Kramer), is a stripper and an addict...and she is dying of cancer. On her deathbed, a sultry therapist/vampire, Mariel (Serena Scott Thomas) turns Lisa into a Vampire at the hospital. Maxx is clueless and eulogizes his lost love at the funeral. A few weeks later Maxx goes to a strip club and believes he sees Lisa. He returns to the club the next day as a vampire clan arrives. The vampires pull off a massacre. All patrons and strippers are ripped apart and eaten...except for Maxx. Lisa saves Maxx and now the vampire clan, headed by Darius (Jeremy Sisto) has plans for Maxx. The dweeb Maxx, so in love with Lisa, allows the ex-stripper, er...exotic dancer, sorry, to turn him. More spurting blood during wild deviant sex will follow.
Uh oh. As a human, Maxx was weak and sniveling. As a vampire...he has attitude and ambition. He immediately emerges as a threat to Darius' authority. On his first feed, Maxx is the MVP of another strip club massacre in which he feasts on and tears apart Lisa's former stripper friend. As Maxx ventures out on his own, a no-no in Darius' clan, he rips apart lingerie clad Macey (Charlotte Ayanna). Lisa arrives to help him clean up and to eat Macey's cats. Now Lisa and Maxx are on the run from Darius and his clan. Knowing their chances of freeing themselves of the clan, Lisa develops a plan to kill off all the pursuing vampires...but will it work?
Will the two addicts in life find love in their new world of vampire blood addicts? What is this plan of Lisa's, and can an ex-exotic dancer outsmart centuries old vampires? Are the death orgies of spurting blood, filled with lingerie clad babe-victims, a thinly veiled metaphor for the misogyny that is Hollywood's film industry? This is a wild, deviant, and gory vampire film. Fast-paced and gratuitous in it's nudity and eroticism, "The Thirst" is a must see for you vampire film lovers.


  1. It reminds me of the crack heads, they are invincible. Nice review!! Bloods is indeed gold, people will kill for. Beats any vampire movies Tom Cruise as ever been in. Hope these vampires move to Aspen and go on a killing spree on the slopes.

  2. I'm sold Chris! Fantastic review!