Sunday, June 10, 2018

The New Girls, Vampires Eat North Dakota

Vampire vixens! Kate Beckinsale, Rhona Mitra, and Natassia Malthe have played them so well. Beautiful women of the night has been an important plot device in modern vampire films. Exotic settings have also accompanied these beauties, Berlin, Paris, and Fargo...wait...Fargo! Okay, it's not big budget, and perhaps B grade is a bit of a stretch, but the C grade "The New Girls," from 2009, is a terrific and ambitious vixen-vampire warrior film. The movie may have flaws, but in the case of this Sonny Fernandez creation, those flaws only enhance this pristine and violent horror epic.
Three babes hit Fargo...okay, stop your jokes. I know, what do you call a beautiful woman in Fargo? A tourist! That's not funny, I've been to Fargo and it is filled with babes. These vixens just so happen to be centuries old bloodsuckers, looking for fresh blood for their diet.  Instantly they feast on male college kids. Svletlana (Liz Docktor) leads the trio, she is beautiful, sly, and very deadly. Lenore (Casey McMillian) is the blonde babe, and perhaps the most level headed of the three. Then there is Renai (Kim Haarman)! Oh she is sweet. She is so sweet that if you are diabetic, don't watch this film. As the monster-girls settle into an old mansion, Fargo's male population takes instant notice, and many will assume room temperature real fast.
Uh oh...the very sweet Renai will fall in love with the loser Ben (Cody Tergesen). Ben is a loser in the mortal world and when the stunning and very sweet Renai falls in love with him, he can't believe it. Ben figures there is a catch...and there is.  The very sweet Renai is a bit impulsive, and against the wisdom of Lenore and Svletlana, she plots to turn Ben into a vampire. Meanwhile, Will (Justin Kavlie) puts two and two together after many of his pals are either drained of blood or turned into bloodsuckers, becomes the Van Helsing of the prairies. Will does his research, grabs some wooden stakes, holy water, garlic, and a few other believers and sets off to destroy the ungodly babes. Beware, the babes are smart and take an early advantage in this battle. Uh oh for the babes, the sweet Renai's puppy love for the loser Ben may provide a vulnerability which  Will can exploit.
The blood will fly, necks will be ripped open, and Fargo's snow will be stained red. Can the sweet, but toothy, Renai find an eternity of happiness with a loser with the personality of a hockey puck? Does Van Helsing wannabe Will have a prayer to defeat a nemesis that has been battle hardened over centuries? The monsters are seductive and the heroes are dorky, but likable in "The New Girls." This action-packed horror yarn has energy and sweetness. For an alternative to the summer bore-a-thons, like "Solo," find "The New Girls" and enjoy an alluring film experience. 

1 comment:

  1. This is a good old fashioned blood dropper, evoking the praries of the great grazing lands of North Dekota, or was that South Dakota, I'd love to meet these babes and discuss the virtues of iron in their diets.