Snake Island, Our Slithery Friends Attack

Cobras, Mambos, Adders and more! Thousands of them! Today's film just screams for Nastassja Kinski, a babe who was able to tame the serpent.  2002's "Snake Island" will have you checking under the covers before you go to bed this evening. Warning...it's icky. When a door opens, a snake pops out. When a corpse is found, a snake crawls out of its mouth. When a beautiful women undresses, a horde of snakes arrive. If snakes terrify you...this film will stick with you for a very long time.

Jake (Wayne Crawford, who also directed) heads a tour group down an African river. Their boat will be disabled as the passengers must fight off an invading snake. Now they are stranded on Snake Island. Uh oh...the resort lodge on the isle seems abandoned and the castaways must make do. Malcolm (William Katt) isn't too upset, this was his destination as he is a writer looking for an idea for a novel. Even better, Jake has his two sultry hostesses, Ronnie and Lisa (Nicola Hanekam and Dawn Matthews) open up the bar. Upon further examination, Jake and Malcolm find another employee, quite dead and with lots of snakes crawling out of his mouth. They are discreet as there is money to be lost with bad publicity.

As the night arrives, the music and booze take over. Ronnie and Lisa will shed their tops and engage in a seductive lesbian dance. Two hot newlyweds (Milan Murray and Jason Kennett) will sneak back to their cabin to consummate their wedding vows. Oh yes, Jake pairs up with beautiful tourist Heather (Kate Conner) for some gratuitous skinny-dipping and pre-marital sex. Oh yes, Heather is a sympathetic character though everyone in this film, including the snakes (you'll see) calls her a b@#%h. In force, the fiends attack. Lisa will get it during a gratuitous shower scene and Ronnie will get it...well...she'll be quite helpless in meeting her awful demise. Our honeymooners? The snakes will take a liking to some kinky lingerie in their attack on them. Now Jake, Heather, and Malcolm learn the history of the island and the fate of the previous tourist party.

As Malcolm and Jake come up with a wild plan for escape, the snakes dance to the music, insult Heather, and slither in for the kill. Are the demises of Ronnie and Lisa symbolic of Eve's deadly transgression in the Garden of Eden? Just how many orifices will the snakes penetrate in their victims? After seeing Heather skinny-dipping, do the snakes have special plans for her? Perhaps a highly symbolic film, more likely just an icky horror story, "Snake Island" will have enough jump scares and repulsing kills that should satisfy any fan of that famous poster of Nastassja Kinski and the big snake (go ahead...Google it).