Monday, June 18, 2018

Stinger, Scorpions on a Sub

Daniella Kimber (nee Vesterlund) is a Swedish beauty. As far as actresses go, few are more interesting. Beauty pageant finalist for Miss Sweden and survivor of the U.S. airstrike on Tripoli in 1986, this sultry thespian was sponsored by Muammar Al Qadhafi for an exclusive riding club in Libya. Ms. Kimber is also an honorary citizen in the Kingdom of Badagry in Nigeria. However, she is also a princess in this blog as we will see her stripped naked by a monster scorpion, stung and raped by same insect, and reduced to a sad sack of scorpion longer beautiful. Hence 2005's "Stinger." Oh yes, this film received a 1.9/10 rating on IMDB, which translates to "better than anything George Clooney has done."
The USS Newark nuclear submarine is missing. Little does the navy know, the sub's crew were slaughtered by monster scorpions hundreds of feet below the ocean surface. As the sub is discovered months later, some marines and the sultry Dr. Carly Ryan (Michelle Meadows) are sent to recover its top secret cargo.  Also sent is Ellie (Kimbers). Ellie's purpose in this mission is kept secret but she'll strip a lot, show off some alluring undies, and have pre-marital sex before a monster bug ravishes her. Carly works for a scientific firm that has created monster scorpions to replace soldiers on the battlefield. I have to admit, I've tried this in my basement lab.
When the crew arrives at the sunken sub, all the sailors are dead and infested with scorpion larvae. Carly is of little help and the monster army attacks our marines.  Oh yes, Carly's ex is also part of the scientific team. He and Ellie (Richard Froelich) have been offered millions to kill the marines and Carly and retrieve some scorpions. As Carly screams a lot and has her t-shirt ripped off by amorous bugs, the USMC starts fighting back.  Surprises abound, and one or two of them are quite horrific. With Ellie out of the picture, all hopes of a cat-fight between her and Carly are dashed, but is Carly's virtue at risk from these amorous scorpions?
Will anyone survive the scorpion war on this submarine?  Will Carly emerge un-soiled by her bug nemesis? Will the Swedish beauty, gang raped by scorpions, risk being type-cast as insect bait in future films?  Directed by Martin Munthe, this effort from Sweden is gratuitous, claustrophobic, and icky. Though her fate was quite disgusting, Daniella Kimber endears herself to horror film fans all over Sweden, Libya, Nigeria, and America with her role as the doomed vixen. Avoid any George Clooney garbage and enjoy "Stinger." 

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