Alien Predator (2018), Navy SEALs vs. Space Aliens

What does a movie look like that only garners a 1/7/10 rating on IMDB? Well...its better than any of those DC or Marvel monstrosities. Better than any "Iron Man," "Wonder Woman," or "Thor" films. Cheers for the Syfy Channel and our buddies at Asylum for giving us movies we want to see devoid of the inane preaching of big-budget Hollywood. Hence 2018's "Alien Predator," directed by Jared Cohn.

An alien ship crashes into a building in the jungle of Honduras and a special black-ops Navy SEAL team is sent in to investigate. They will be shredded by Alien lasers and the gore that ensues will be quite gory. Back at base, tech guy Brooks (Dutch Hofstetter) hears the carnage over the radio and advises Captain Adrian (Xavi Israel). Adrian is then denied permission to go rescue his buddies. Disobeying orders, Adrian puts a team together anyway which include the PTSD-ridden Brooks, some guys who grunt a lot, and two SEAL babes (Katy Bentz and Amanda Rivas). Off they go into the jungle in hopes of finding SEAL survivors...this won't go well.

After finding some weird signs of carnage which include alien goo, alien booby traps, and ripped apart humans, Adrian and his men find the crashed spaceship. As the booby traps begin to whittle down his ill-prepared team, he concocts a plan to enter the ship to rescue any human left alive. As alien lasers pick apart more Navy SEALs, Adrian's team enters the ship. Awaiting them are more surprises and our SEAL babes won't fare well, I'm afraid. The deaths all differ and provide some neat gore. Brooks, the tech guy, begins finding out answers and discovers not every alien on the ship is a soldier. As the second team's numbers diminish rapidly, Adrian must rely on the PTSD-ridden tech guy to figure out exactly what they are dealing with and why are the aliens here.

What will be the fate of the SEAL babes, and do the aliens have special plans for them (like in a Roger Corman film)? Is there a chance Brooks will be able to communicate with the big buggers? Just what are the SEALs doing in Honduras and is this a repeat of the annoying meddling in Central America in which the U.S. and Russia just can't seem to avoid? This is a much better film than anything Tom Hanks or Steven Spielberg shove our way. Good gore...good action...great looking cast...and no annoying preaching! For a good time, see "Alien Predator."

The Banker, Financial Whiz and Weird Indian Cults

High stakes bankers do serve a purpose. They put deals together that affect corporations and enable them to grow, thus hiring more people and producing more goods and services. Just because some of these financiers are misogynistic homicidal lunatics shouldn't dissuade us from appreciating their services to our society. I mean, just because they hunt women with crossbows and use their corpses for cultist offerings to weird deities doesn't mean they're bad people. Who among us doesn't have an aspect of all that in our private lives? Hence 1989's "The Banker," directed by William Webb.

Spaulding Osbourne (Duncan Regehr) is the above mentioned lunatic. He pays for the classiest hookers and then shoots them with a crossbow and carves up their bodies in weird cult ceremonies. Jaynie (Teri Weigel) is the first to succumb to some ancient South American deity, and we are sorry to see her go. Her sex scene (pre-marital sex, I might add) is steamy and vicious. Detective Dan (Robert Forster) is assigned to the case and he figures there will be more killings. He is a good detective and Spaulding has no idea what he is in for.  Neither does another sultry hooker, Melanie (Deborah Richter). She'll be carved up, as well. However, Melanie was one of Dan's snitches and now Dan is taking this case more seriously.

Uh oh again, info-babe Sharon (Shanna Reed) is covering the story for a TV station. She also happens to be Dan's ex-wife. Sharon detests that a misogynistic killer is killing young ladies. Her approach on the air is antagonistic and she mocks and humiliates the killer. Not a good move. Spaulding will buy the TV station and then stalk her. More sultry whores will die horribly as well as some poor schmucks who figure out it's Spaulding. Spaulding's crossbow gets a lot of use in this film and now he aims it at Sharon, who just happens to be falling back in love with her ex, Detective Dan.
As Dan and Sharon get sweet on each other again, Spaulding goes full throttle Inca (or maybe Aztec) madman.

Are Sharon's First Amendment rights as a TV reporterette more important than the sensitivities of weird, homicidal, South American Inca cults? Who would win in a one on one contest between the hunk Duncan Regehr and the babe Rhona Mitra (crossbow vixen in "Hard Target 2") in a duel of crossbows? Oh yes, the last five minutes of this film is classic which includes one of the best one-liners ever uttered in film history. For a steamy and vicious thriller, with terrific crossbow carnage, see "The Banker."

Crash Site, Charisma Carpenter in Much Peril

When selecting a film to review I have three criteria. The second one: Is Charisma Carpenter in it? Hence a review today of 2011's "Crash Site." The charming and vivacious former Sand Diego Charger cheerleader shines so bright even after being bruised, scraped, bitten by icky things, chased and attacked by wolves, and caught in a marriage that is going down the drain. Oh yeah, for you gals, her husband is played by major league hunk, Sebastian Spence...trust me, you'll like him.

Okay, the sultry Rita (Carpenter) and hunk Dan (Spence) are on the outs. He works all the time and has neglected his family. His daughter Frances (Katie Findlay) has grown into a major league babe. The last straw is when he misses his daughter's graduation party, now he needs to figure out a way to stay married. A trip to the lodge in the woods! Everyone loves the idea and Dan must resist the temptation of bringing work with him (laptop and smart phone). Uh oh...Frances brings her smarmy boyfriend Matthew (Steven Grayhm). After the great looking couple keep bickering, Dan announces he and Rita will go an an overnight camping trip, just the two of them...no devices. Good move, except for the fact Matthew has actually seduced Frances to get close to her dad so he can kill him. Dan and Rita drive off with cut brake lines, courtesy of Matthew, and crash in the wilderness.

After regaining conscious, both spouses have chances of saving each other's life. Alas, the beautiful Rita is bitten by a poisonous spider as wolves start stalking them. The two go back and forth between bickering and tender moments as Rita lays some awful news on Dan. Meanwhile, the nubile Frances finds herself in much danger at home with Matthew, who is bent on murder and industrial espionage. As the two are stalked by more and more wolves, who now decide to attack, they both have realized what happened to them and desire to get back and save Frances.

Just how could Dan spend so much time at work with Charisma Carpenter waiting for him at home? Does the plot even matter when Charisma Carpenter is in the film? Fighting for their lives, will we see our very good looking couple put their marriage back together? Charisma Carpenter and Sebastian Spence play to the camera very well and this film is fast-paced and beautifully shot in the woods of the Pacific northwest. For some great cheesecake and beefcake, and some neat nature scenes, watch "Crash Site."

Cell Count, Quarantine and Icky Creatures

Laura Duyn, an actress, half Thai and half Dutch, is a lovely lady who plays a stewardess (IMDB lists her as a stewardess in the credits) in 2012's "Cell Count." Wait! She's not really a stewardess here, she's actually...well...you'll see. This is a good one...a medical horror story that gets quite gory pretty quickly. Perhaps a love story, or an erotic fantasy, but definitely not the feel good film of 2012, this movie has everything. Oh yes...and then there is the stewardess lady...is she even real? You'll see...but you'll have to watch the film as I will refrain from spoilers regarding our half Asian stewardess.

The formerly lovely Sadie (Haley Talbot) is dying from an awful disease and her hunk husband Russell (Robert McKeehen) watches on helplessly. But wait! A cure? Dr. Brandt (Christopher Toyne), who looks as if he is right out of a Nazi death camp clinic, makes the sad couple a deal of a lifetime. Apparently he has a cure, still in its experimental stages, with minor side effects. All the lovebirds have to do is agree...they do. The three are whisked off to a secret U.S. government facility. Fast forward three weeks and Sadie is beautiful again, and apparently disease free. Also at the facility are other patients cured of the illness. Uh oh...only Sadie and Russell are happy, the others, who have been there longer, are not as joyful. Also not as joyful are a couple of murderers in holding cells who have also volunteered for "the cure."

"The Cure"? Ha...its...well, you'll see it. Dr. Brandt assures his test subjects all is going well. Ick! subject Mary (Adrienne Vogel) manifests an ugly side effect. Now Russell is getting sick, as Sadie only improves. Now we get a glimpse of the cure and it is monstrous. Now the test subjects are eager to get the cure out of their bodies...before it finds its own way out. Now the test subjects plot rebellion and our stewardess-like babe forms an attachment to one of those subjects. What follows? Icky creatures, machine-gun battles, and carnage...gory carnage. Then the epic and ambitious ending that only invites a graphic novel series to be created.

Will Russell and Sadie be able to go home and start a family? What is "the cure" and what does it look like? Exactly what is this governmental scientific facility and is there any escape from it? This is an icky one and the ending is all encompassing and ominous. For an icky (there's that word again) movie watching experience, which includes the lovely Laura Duyn, see "Cell Count," directed by Todd E. Freeman.

The Dark Side of the Moon, The Devil and Sultry AI

We all remember the HAL 9000 from that old Stanley Kubrick film. Here's a neat take on that plot device... how about instead of a boring disembodied voice, the AI that is the lifeblood of the spaceship is in fact a sultry babe, with a seductive European accent, clad in a tight leather jumpsuit showing much cleavage. Yep, we can all agree Mr. Kubrick missed out on one heck of a plot device. Hence today we discuss 1990's "The Dark Side of the Moon," directed by D.J. Webster.

In the year 2022 a spaceship is headed toward the moon to repair a nuclear spy satellite. Uh oh, a mysterious force fries their electronics and now the ship is drifting helplessly toward the dark side of the moon. The captain, Flynn (Robert Sampson), and the first mate Giles (Will Bledsoe), try everything to no avail. The oxygen is running out and the temperature is decreasing fast. Lesli (Camilla More), the sultry babe who is the ship's computer, is consulted and she advises there are no problems. Uh oh...the space shuttle Discover approaches, this craft has been missing for 30 years, ever since it crash landed in the Bermuda Triangle.  Desperate, the crew manages to connect with the supposed derelict shuttle, and needing more air, Flynn and Giles board it.

Connecting to the shuttle will have eerie results. They find the corpse of a crew member, with his stomach exposed. The corpse is brought back onto their ship and will attack spacebabe Alex (Wendy MacDonald). The corpse was seemingly dead, but opened its eyes and appeared to be occupied by Satan. Satan takes Alex' sultry body and begins moving to other crew members. Meanwhile the two ships are being drawn into the dark side of the moon. Giles does some research with Lesli's help and finds out a macabre connection to the Bermuda Triangle and the hundreds of ships that vanished there. As spacebabe Alex meets a horrible fate and spacebabe computer seems to be in much danger, other crew members are disemboweled.

Just what is this Satan being up to, and what is his connection to the dark side of the moon and the Bermuda Triangle? Will the sultry Lesli be able to stop Satan's advances? Will Giles and Flynn figure out what is going on and stop the evil from destroying the entire vessel? This may be a very scaled down "Event Horizon," albeit with some nice gore and cheesecake. At very least, Lesli is a lot more appealing than the HAL 9000. For a neat scifi/horror film with spacebabes and Satan, enjoy "The Dark Side of the Moon."

Zoombies 2, Meerkats and Porcupines and Hippos, Oh My!

In a follow up to the best film of 2016, Zoombies , we will  take a look at the best film made in 2019, Zoombies 2. Epic and classic are understatements in this tale featuring some amazing beefcake and cheesecake combined with cute critters turned into fiendish monsters. This one plays on our nightmares or being picked apart by meerkats and aardvarks.

A team of poachers headed by Toronto (Jarrid Masse) sneak into a wildlife preserve to steal some rare animals. Jezel (Terra Strong) has invented a tranquilizer to assist in this endeavor. Uh oh...the tranquilizer turns the critters into zombie-animals. Immediately, zombie meerkats eat some poachers, and a rhino rids the preserve of another one. Jezel and her pretty cohort, Layne (Ashley Alva) will be arrested by hunk ranger Randy (Jonathan Buckley). We won't mention Layne again as she will have her face eaten off by a zombie-porcupine. As the two babe poachers are brought back to the lab, Brooke (Erica Sturdefant), a major league babe, the head vet, is angry and wants to rip the poachers apart.

Now Toronto runs in and warns meerkats are attacking, but no one believes him. Randy heads out to look for more poachers and realizes Toronto is right. Back at the lab, two baby porcupines turn into zombies and eat lab technicians and Layne and wound the sultry Brooke. Now Randy and some cohorts, along with Toronto, are stranded in the preserve under attack from zombie hippos, aardvarks, and anacondas. Just when all seems hopeless, Jezel claims she knows how to make an antidote for the tranquilizer she invented...but the cure may be deadlier than the present predicament. As rhinos, tigers, and more meerkats attack, Brooke takes charge and decides to trust the arrested Jezel.

Is there a good cat-fight on tap between the sultry Brooke and the ravishing Jezel? Will Randy make it back to the lab with Toronto, and if so...will the lab even be there? Miss Sturdefant turns in a terrific performance and plays to the camera really well. For you gals, Mr. Buckley will melt your heart. In the most important film of 2019, "Zoombies 2" will gnaw at your consciousness and cause vegans to go carnivore.

A Legacy of Whining, A Couple of Schmucks and Cuban Revolutionaries

Back in 1981 an art-house film, "My Dinner With Andre" hit the screen. Boring and artsy-fartsy in nature, it told the story of two men reuniting for dinner after a long separation to gab about old times. Realizations about the meanings of their lives and their significance are discovered. Yawn! Take that film, and instead of two sophisticate-wannabe protagonists, add in a schmuck like us, a deviant-wannabe, three Cuban whores, and a bottle of absinthe. Hence the madcap, and perhaps very convicting "A Legacy of Whining." This 2016 film is written and directed by Vancouver film maker Ross Munro...who also stars in it.

Hitting 50, Mitch (Munro) is at the airport waiting on his high school chum, Dunc (Robert David Duncan). Before Dunc arrives we get to know Mitch...he still harbors dreams of making it as an actor. As much as we like him, we pity him as everyone at the airport seems to have more ability than he. His interactions at the airport reinforce his pathetic existence as porn stars and wheel-chair bound hookers are thrown at us by Ross Munro. Dunc arrives and it is obvious the two have grown apart over the past three decades.  Dunc wants to hit bars and screw hookers. Mitch wants to get home and get some rest for an early morning audition for a part he won't get.

Alas an enigmatic flier left on Mitch's car sets the rest of the film in motion. This flier suggests an evening of wild eroticism, but Mitch is content on going to a coffee house to catch up. Catching up won't be a good idea as Dunc, motivated by a failed marriage, wants whores and alcohol. Mitch still clings to dreams that will never be realized. The awkward coffee hour will meld into a visit to the address on the flier, a house of ill repute, staffed by sultry Cuban revolutionaries (Angie Descalzi, Kellani Elizabeth Rose, and Dayana Hernandez) desiring freedom for the oppressed, and also to loosen up the tight Mitch. However hesitant and uncomfortable Mitch is, he'll have opportunities for epiphanies and self reflection...but will he take them?

Perhaps this film is a chronicle of a reunion that should never have taken place, or perhaps it poses an opportunity of salvation for Mitch. The final five minutes will hammer us with a convicting moral and those who empathize with Mitch may want to listen up. The dialog is witty and at times hilarious, and the performances are first rate. "A Legacy of Whining" will have you laughing often and ultimately get you to take a good look in the mirror. Whether a "Paramilitary Hooters" (you'll see) is necessary for your self-realization, is debatable, nonetheless, a prod to let go of your past may be necessary. Incidentally, not mentioned in this review (to avoid spoilers) is the great performance by the sultry Abby de Forest.
To see "A Legacy of Whining" on Amazon Prime click this link  A LEGACY OF WHINING

Massage Parlor Murders!, Gratuitous and Kinky Crime Thriller

Gratuitous and kinky? Hey...its 1973's "Massage Parlor Murders!" Yep, deviant role playing sex, a lot of pre-marital sex, skinny dipping, and more. With gritty New York City as the motif, a real psycho goes through lovely 'women of the night" like crap through a goose. All the deaths will be brutal and deviant, and two hard-boiled detectives will seem over matched. Directed  by Chester Fox and Alex Stevens, this one graced the drive-ins.

At the Venus Paradise, the "massage therapists" wait for their next man. A strange man arrives and picks out Rosie (Chris Jordan). This will be unfortunate for the redhead as the maniac busts her head open and strangles her with her own bra. Detectives Rizotti (George Spencer) and Mara (John Moser) respond to the carnage. Very bloody. The handsome young Mara pays a visit to Rosie's roommate, Gwen (Sandra Peabody). She is also a "massage therapist." She cries at learning of Rosie's death, but stops soon to fall in love with Detective Mara. They'll kiss, drink together, have pre-marital sex, go on picnics, and yes...skinny dip. Meanwhile Rizotti gets grouchy and yells at everyone.

The fiend strikes again and again. His killings are getting nastier and he even uses acid and ritualistic sacrificial rites. Detective Mara is too busy having immoral relations with Gwen and Rizotti is too busy yelling at people to try to figure out who the killer is. A lot of weird suspects emerge including Brother Theodore and George Dzundza. As the killer continues, Rizotti gets inspiration from an unlikely source and believes he has a bead on the psycho. Detective Mara continues to get nude a lot and do deviant things...nasty things...to Gwen, our proverbial working girl.

Will Rizotti stop yelling long enough to put a couple of clues together? What is the motivation of this fiend and his weird methods of killing ladies of the night? Will Mara inspire Gwen to leave the world of massage therapy and take up typewriter repair? Most of this film is gratuitous scenes containing nudity and deviance...but who are we to complain? For an accurate depiction of early 1970s New York, enjoy "Massage Parlor Murders!" 

Future Fear, Las Vegas Showgirl Saves the Day

Ah Maria Ford! Las Vegas showgirl, bikini poster model, and martial artist...yes! In a rather gratuitous and energetic performance in this Roger Corman film, Ms. Ford saves a disjointed, often annoying apocalyptic science fiction film. Technically Jeff Wincott is top-billed in this one, but his performance is wooden and his character is annoying, thus we won't talk much about him. IMDB gave this film a rating of 2.5/10, but they must've ignored Maria Ford. Hence 1997's "Future Fear."

As the film begins Anna (Ford) is pursuing her husband John (Wincott) with the intent to kill him. The guy is an annoying bore, and she is a sultry babe, thus we're for this. Anna is sent to kill him and collect some embryo samples which John stole by the evil General Wallace (Stacy Keach). Wallace is a Hitler wannabe and the embryos are made from space RNA mixed with Anna's eggs and will create a master race.

As Anna pursues the bore, the two realize they still love each other. We'll get a lot of flashback scenes which feature Anna nude and making violent love to John. John will realize that his dad was murdered by Wallace. John's dad realized this experiment would yield monstrous results and destroyed it. Uh oh...Wallace recreated it and he is ready to grow the embryos, wipe out all of humanity, and allow a superior race (species) to repopulate. As Anna catches up to John, she and him will engage in some nice fighting and philosophical banter about life and our burden to either save it or wipe it out. Anna's back story yields some neat questions and explains her motivations...you'll see.

Maria Ford is so terrific in this, even fully clothed in a red jumpsuit. Will the sultry Anna give us all a thrill and blow away the annoying and self righteous John?  What will those stolen embryos grow into if they are allowed to develop? Why is Anna so fanatical about the preservation of the alien embryos? The questions posed by this film are good ones and obviously ignored by the IMDB snobs. Either way, Maria Ford's performance alone make this a terrific film and perhaps can be looked at as a prequel to Corman's "The Terror Beneath." For some good science fiction apocalyptic fun, see "Future Fear."

The Incubus, Demon Rape

In the interest of gender equality, and since I reviewed Succubus back in 2018, we will take a look at 1981's "The Incubus." Perhaps this one will be difficult for some to watch as many of the rape scenes are quite brutal and gratuitous. However, as far as creepy horror goes, this is a pretty good one, with a neat ending many may never have seen coming. To be fair to this film we should mention that the rape scenes were delivered with a brutality in which the victims suffered greatly. I mention this because in Roger Corman's Galaxy of Terror the MPAA almost gave it an X rating because they claimed actress Taeffe O'Connell appeared to enjoy the experience when she was raped by a giant worm.

In a small Wisconsin town Tim (Duncan McIntosh) has nightmares of a woman being tortured in a dungeon. Whenever he has these dreams, some babe in town is brutally raped, usually killed, by some monster. Mandy (Mitch Martin) is the first, and her beau is killed. A librarian  (Denise Ferguson) will be next. Mandy will survive but has gone mad. Town doctor, Sam (John Cassavetes) and police chief Hank (John Ireland) team up to get to the bottom of this. More rapes of town babes occur and they are all brutally murdered as well. Gratuitous shower scenes are present and monstrous rape scenes are there too.

Sam awkwardly falls in love with town reporterette Laura (Kerrie Keane). The two drink together, kiss, and awkwardly almost have pre-marital sex. Uh oh, Sam's daughter Jenny (Erin Noble) is Tim's girlfriend. As Tim continues to dream, nubile damsels are raped and shredded some more. Now Tim figures out he is the culprit and so does Sam. Now Sam tries to figure out how milquetoast Tim could be doing all these brutal rapes. Uh oh again, the secret is known by Tim's grandmother (Helen Hughes) and concerns some eerie hi-jinx that went on way in the past.

Is the sultry and nubile Laura in more danger from the incubus demon or from the awkward and weird Dr. Sam? Is wimpish Tim's manifestation as a demon monster something that his GF Jenny might find oddly appealing? Is the incubus a metaphor for western society's inbred misogyny through history, or is it just a gratuitous horror film plot device? Brutal, weird, and ominous, "The Incubus" is an interesting horror film that probably should be avoided on date night. Okay...out of an appeal to good taste, I am not gonna say the rapes in this film were a foretelling of Harvey Weinstein's rape of [CENSORED].

Cyborg 2: Glass Shadow, Angelina Jolie Does Blade Runner

Before Angelina Jolie was the annoying being that she is today, she was a cyborg in a sequel to a Jean-Claude Van Damme film. Remember Sean Young as the sultry cyborg who runs off with Harrison Ford at the end of "Blade Runner"? Well, we wondered if the man and machine duo could find happiness, that was left an open question. Same deal here as a sultry cyborg falls in love...but can it work, especially if Jack Palance is spying her every move? Hence 1992's "Cyborg 2: Glass Shadow."

In the year 2074 Earth is in ruins and an American company and a Japanese company compete to furnish the elite with cyborgs. Cyborgs to fight in wars, cyborgs to provide wild sex...what a world! Pinwheel Corporation has an idea, destroy its Japanese competitor.  As our film begins we see pleasure cyborg Dreena (Renee Allman) having that wild sex with a schmuck...she climaxes...she explodes. Yep, a counter-espionage cyborg designed to explode upon climax. With the successful test they fill up sultry cyborg Cash (Jolie). Uh oh, Dreena was Cash's BFF and when Cash comes across her remains, the not-beautiful-anymore Dreena warns her.

Cash is as close to human as a cyborg can be and her goal in life is a lot of wild sex with her personal trainer, Colt (Elias Koteas). With the help of Mercy (Jack Palance), a mysterious being...you'll see, the two escape to find love above ground. Pinwheel wants her back and sends sultry cyborg assassin Chen (Karen Sheperd) after them. Some great cat-fights will ensue between these two cyborg beauties. Even more menacing, Pinwheel sends Bench (Billy Drago) after them, too. Bench is a true psycho heavily concerned about his vanity. He'll even mix it up with Chen. As Colt and Cash continue to fall deeper in love, Chen and Bench get angrier and more violent, and Pinwheel sends in heavily armed troops. Never fear, Mercy has an outlandish plan for the lovebirds escape.

Exactly who or what is Mercy and can he be trusted? Will Colt and Cash have the same questions facing them as Sean Young and Harrison Ford did? Why can't pleasure cyborgs ever find true happiness in these films and will Cash's fate differ? Okay, I know, the thought of a sultry babe blowing up during climax is too easy a metaphor to pass on, but out of good taste, I will pass on it. For some neat cyborg carnage, cyborg love, and cyborg sex, see "Cyborg 2: Glass Shadow," directed by Michael Schroeder.

Olga's Girls, Vicious White Slavery Exploitation

Graphic sexploitation set in a house of ill repute. Pretty ladies whipped, tortured, and broken. The same ladies in gratuitous shower scenes. At the mercy of a leather clad and sultry torture-hound, the ladies will be in much peril in this 1964 docu-drama about the evils of human trafficking (white slavery) and drugs. Hence "Olga's Girls." Vicious and gratuitous, this film may have a 1960s corniness to it, but the story is real.

Olga (Audrey Campbell) runs a house of prostitution. She buys her girls from 'The Syndicate' and addicts them to drugs in order to make them dependent on her. The pretty ladies are then forced to be prostitutes. Out of good measure, Olga tortures them. Olga dons a leather costume, strings up the ladies, whips them and sometimes cages them nude and forces them to eat off the floor. Olga has her favorites and Bunny (Loloni Nocolo), and this beauty is strictly Olga's attendant, providing lesbian sex to her.

The torture scenes get vicious as Olga will cut out the tongue of Kitty (Ann Pepper), thought to be an informant. Ah, rebellion looms. Cat-fights, more torture, more shower scenes, lead up to a brutal conclusion. As Olga's leadership style encompasses pain, humiliation, and fear, the heroin addicted ladies are hardly in a position for rebellion...but once dismemberment and death introduce themselves to the plot, they will take the chance.

Will several addicted ladies have a prayer to fight the wise Olga in their pursuit of freedom? What do the rebels have planned if they are able to overthrow Olga? If the ladies fail, what will Olga do to them? Bras and panties will fly, hair will be pulled, faces scratched, female body parts will shake up and down, and many of the beautiful will suffer horribly. Directed by Joseph P. Mawra, "Olga's Girls" is one of the most vicious exploitation tales you will ever see, and the feel good film of 1964 (okay, perhaps not).

Satanico Pandemonium, Sultry Nun Behaving Badly

Just what does the sub-genre of Euro-Trash have for nuns? Apparently a fetish. Unlike most nuns, many European horror films portray them as nymphomaniac-lesbians just itching to throw off their habits and robes. Now the Mexicans have gotten into the game.  Ave Maria! Hence a Mexican film from 1975, "Satanico Pandemonium," directed by Gilberto Martinez Solares, is our feature today. I repeat, Ave Maria! Also called "La Sexorcista," this film chronicles the downfall, literal and spiritual, of Sister Maria.

Sister Maria (Cecilia Pezet) is a sultry nun at a convent in rural Spain. How do we know she is sultry, after all, nuns are quite covered by robes and habits? Well, she sheds those garments a lot in this film...either in extreme lust for sex, being raped...or doing the raping. Okay, while picking flowers she meets a naked man, who is quite endowed. He offers her an apple and she runs away. Yep, Luzbel (Enrique Rocha) tells her to call him Lucifer. She runs back to her convent and keeps seeing visions of this naked man offering her an apple. She runs to her room, strips naked, and whips herself.

Sister Maria is quite respected among the other nuns (who we will also see quite naked). One beautiful nun comes to see her to confess her sins and she tries to rape Maria. Maria eventually gives in and begins to enjoy the rape when she sees Lucifer doing the deed, instead of the nun. Now, her sexual prowess exploding, another nun comes in to confess...Maria rapes the poor gal...then stabs her in the back. Maria will then go on a homicidal orgy, but not after trying to rape a young boy. She'll visit the boy's house to finish the job. Maria will rape the boy in his bed, butcher him, then butcher his mother. Now Lucifer has a deal for Maria...and horrifically, it may be a deal she won't be able to refuse.

Okay...enough of this gratuitous plot. Sister Maria is indeed sultry and naked through much of this film. Her resistance to temptation is almost non-existent and she will partake in not only sexual orgies but also homicidal ones. Blood will flow, and boy and nun alike will fall victim to her fall from grace. Will Maria be able to reverse her fall and eschew Satan? Though raped, will the young Mexican boy be traumatized by it or be heralded by his buddies (much like Florida school boys raped by their sultry teachers)? Is this film a vicious tirade against the sexual suppression of the Catholic church or a warning of the dangers of Satan's influence? If the above plot recap doesn't offend, see "Satanico Pandemonium."

From Hell it Came, Tree Stump Horror

We've all heard elite lunatics claim to be the reincarnation of Napoleon, or Joan of Arc, or even a majestic eagle soaring through the skies. Yep! How about us schmucks, what will we come back as? After all, you're no Princess Diana or Gandhi... nope, us schmucks will come back as something a bit less awe inspiring, say...a tree stump! Hence 1957's "From Hell it Came."

Proud warrior Kimo (Gregg Palmer) is being executed on false charges of treason. Chief-wannabe Tano (Robert Swan) has already stolen Kimo's wife Korey (Suzanne Ridgway) and has a ceremonial dagger driven into his heart and then buried. Three boring and incompetent Americans are working on the island diagnosing the effects of recent atom bomb tests on the islanders. Bill (Tod Andrews) is one of the scientists and doesn't appear to have any use on these experiments. He is sweet on the sultry...okay, not too sultry...okay rather frumpy scientist Terry (Tina Carver). She has no interest in Bill, which seems to be a break for Bill because the island women are very nice. Fine... back to the plot.

Out of Kimo's coffin grows a tree stump. The inept scientists cut its roots and bring it back to the lab for evaluation. They go to sleep... idiots... and when they wake the stump is gone. The monster stump, Kimo reincarnated, still with a dagger in its chest, goes on a killing spree on those tribesmen and women who had a hand in his execution. Here we'll see many island lovelies in alluring island outfits running for their lives as stump-man chases them. He's slow, but you know dames, they always twist their ankles when running away. Now the inept American non-essential employees /scientists are eager to help the islanders kill the stump-man.

Will Bill get off his crush on the frumpy Terry and take up with a nubile island lovely? Will stump man kill his two-timing wife and take up with the tree-stump-like Terry? Is there any other film that captures the essence of the South Pacific islanders, their plights and struggles, better than "From Hell it Came"? Enjoy this 1950s B movie, directed by Dan Milner, with some very imaginative and fun creature effects.

Devil's Dynamite, Hopping Vampires and a Sultry Vixen

From Taiwan we have a film that may be just too good for mankind. What happens when a sultry Taiwanese vixen clad in silk unleashes hopping vampires (Bram Stoker's original conception of his Dracula) on her enemies? You will find out in 1987's sequel to "Robo Vampire"... "Devil's Dynamite." Ah, so you didn't know this sequel existed... shame on you. Yep, a flood of vampires with their arms held out in front as they hop like bunny rabbits will surely horrify as the sultry Angela Mao, as queen of the underworld, controls them. Directed by Godfrey Ho, this is an epic that captures Taiwan's ethos better than any film ever made.

Okay, Mary (Mao) is the queen of Taiwanese organized crime. She got that way by betraying her boyfriend, Steve Cox, and having him sent away to jail. Now its 10 years later and Cox is out of jail and wants revenge on Mary who runs casinos and drug trafficking. Cox is angry that Mary took his place after betraying him and has a stash of gold hidden. Mary doesn't have the gold, though she wants it and Cox isn't telling her where it is. Cox sneaks into Mary's bedroom a lot to slap her around but can't bring himself to kill her.

Enough! Let's talk about some really neat elements of the plot. Mary has co-opted a Taoist monk and his vampire army. Now Mary sends these hopping vampires out to eliminate anyone who is a threat to her. Oh yes, Alex... a super warrior. He is clad in a tin foil suit with a silver helmet and battles the vampires. Alex finds another Taoist monk to equip him to kill all the vampires. A major battle is brewing. As the stunning Mary prepares to wipe out Steve Cox and his minions, Steve Cox prepares to invade Mary's wedding to a police inspector, and Alex the tin foil spaceman heads out to do a final battle with the hopping vampires.

Got it? The story of a generation complete with great dubbing and Kung Fu. Angela Mao is one of the most sultry actresses you will ever see and the camera captures her nicely. Will the sultry Mary survive Steve Cox' wrath and have a successful wedding? Will the hopping vampires tear apart Alex, the tin foil spaceman? Will mainland China finally leave Taiwan alone once they understand what this movie is trying to say? "Devil's Dynamite" has something for all of us and we can all learn important life lessons from the plot. The hopping vampires are such an obvious metaphor we wonder why only the Robo Vampire films have utilized them.

Body Farm, Internal Organs for Sale

Anyone who has spent Mardi Gras in New Orleans has been there. Yep...as Fat Tuesday ends you've woken up in a seedy motel room hooked up to an IV. Alas a scar on your side indicates your kidney has been removed. The perils of intense drinking and partying. An urban legend? Perhaps. This nightmarish legend is about to take on some horrific twists in a 2018 film by Brandon Keenan and Nick LaMantia, "Body Farm."

The above fate comes to roost for the nubile Justyne (Genevieve Weiss). Scouting for a video team she finds a remote research facility specializing in curing corpses for forensic research. Uh oh...as she wakes on a gurney she realizes her kidney is gone and blood will explode out of her improperly sutured wound. Very sad. Erik (Keenan) and Ashton (LaMantia) are her team mates and worried that she has been out of touch. A cryptic text from her phone summons them to the same facility, a body farm. With their boss, Mark (Brian Stowell) and nerd Zach (Brett Hollabaugh) in tow, they arrive at the farm hoping for a story and a reunion with Justyne. This won't go well. As the team is halved almost immediately, now Erik and Ashton must not only find Justyne but also Mark and Zach.

The farm has weird personnel which include sadistic guards. Guards? Yep, did I mention some death row inmates or lifers are also housed there? Oh yes, Dr. Dorus (David Petti) who heads the facility is busy dissecting film crew members and also sizing up Erik and Ashton. Still oblivious to the real story, Erik and Ashton seek help from the sheriff...this won't go well. Uh oh, one of the inmates escapes with bloody murder in mind...but is he really an inmate. As internal organs are yanked out of their  warm torsos, Erik and Ashton are pursued in the interest of science...and free market organ harvesting. Got it? Nope, you don't. Twists abound and not everyone is who you think they are. Blood will pour out, brains and livers will be yanked out, and rich sick people will patiently await for their new organs.

Just what is the scope of Dr. Dorus' sadistic operation? Will the nubile Justyne's death go for naught, or will her spirit,,,and kidney...have anything more to add to this plot? Just who are these inmates and who is endangered by their vicious and bloody escape? This is a nightmarish film that really piles on to that aforementioned urban legend. If you want to see an extra gory film that will unnerve you for quite some time, enjoy "Body Farm."

Bewere, Honor Among Monsters

You just don't find it anymore...honor among monsters. In the good old days Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi could leave the Universal set at 5 pm and enjoy an adult beverage together. Then Watergate shattered our image of the men we elect to lead us... our favorite movie stars  turn up to be sexual predators... our favorite baseball players end up being chronic cheaters... and now our monsters lie and cheat each other desperately seeking a macabre advantage. Especially in the werewolf 

community! Alas, the days of Lon Chaney, Jr. and David Naughton are long gone. Today we have a horror short directed by J. Budro Partida and written by Joy Lin, 2019's "Bewere."

Our 12 minute horror short begins at a secret meeting between Aaron (Logan Pall), a spoiled rich kid who drives a red sport car, and Oz (Joseph Fotinos), a gritty and scarred schmuck. Ah, Oz isn't just a schmuck, he's a werewolf. Aaron desires to obtain werewolf powers, probably to impress the bikini babes at the beach and then eat them. His whole life has proven to Aaron that money and deceit could buy him anything and he desires. Oz is expecting a large wad of cash to impart his powers...an easy bargain. Oz complies and in a vicious and gratuitous scene, he imparts the power to Aaron.

However painful the gift was, Aaron is now a werewolf, or will be at the next full moon. Uh oh, Aaron stiffs Oz and now that he is also a werewolf, doesn't pay the gritty veteran of the lyncanthrope community. Uh oh again, being a werewolf isn't as simple as turning, killing, eating, and turning back. Unfortunately for Aaron, who has also turned his best buddy Drew (Ray Roberts II), his decision to stiff Oz will be an uncomfortable one. See, Oz knows a few basic truths of being a werewolf and Aaron does not. Before you stiff a monster, always realize they will get even.

What will happen during the next full moon? What basic maxims should Aaron and Drew knew before the change? Has the vampire community sunk into the same moral depravity that our lycans face in "Bewere"? A morality tale, no doubt, but "Bewere" is a short horror story that may change the way we look at all those classic werewolf films we loved as children.  To view the trailer for this film, click the link below.
Trailer for BEWERE