A coming of age film! yep, if the homicidal half man-half pig were a cello instead and this film was called "Two Girls and a Cello," the critics would all love it. Yep, it would get an 8.8/10 rating on IMDB instead of the 2.9 it does get. Something about a behemoth of a man with a pig's head scares the critics...wusses! Hey, Eric Roberts is in this...we like Eric Roberts, and even though his 90 second scene has no bearing on the plot, we do admire his...hair. But wait! You'll never guess! This is actually a pretty good film. Our feature today is 2025's "The Arkansas Pigman Massacre," directed by JT Kris.
Pig Man is the behemoth hunk who has a pig head, wears a bloody apron, and wields a hatchet and carving knife. He chases down hikers and campers, cuts them open, and feasts on their internal organs. The monster man oinks a lot and is relentless. As the film opens, we see him hunt a few down. So here are our two stars, a couple of 12-year-old girls who are into their phones, music, and boys. Tracey (Junie Liv Thomasson) is from a broken family and would rather live with her dad (Roberts) than her mom. Chelsea (Saga Pernille Johnson Muro) is her buddy. Tracey has a crush on Chelsea's rock-star brother, Dylan (Dante B. Salazar). Dylan is driving the two pre-teens to summer camp when the car stalls on a back dirt road...and along comes Pig Man. Pig Man takes Dylan away and Tracey and Chelsea flee into the woods.
Now our two slightly annoying, but kind of likable pre-dames are on the run. Pig Man wants them to eat for dinner. The girls are horrified, exhausted, and helpless to defend themselves against the raging monster with the hatchet. Pig Man eats Dylan and now the gals have no hope for rescue. Several close calls occur, but the screeching duo always just get away. Along the way, Pig Man sometimes veers off and murders and eats more campers. No problem here, the monster always gets right back on the trail. Now the gals are desperate and their bond of friendship may be their biggest weapon against Pig Man, an obvious metaphor for modern American media and culture and their effort to destroy femininity in our young girls.
Will Tracey and Chelsea defeat the ruination that awaits them and turn the tables on Pig Man? Will Eric Roberts do anything of note in this 90-minute epic? Is the fact that this film took place in Arkansas an obvious message of and metaphor for the perversion and ruination that Bill and Hillary Clinton caused a nation? Better than any "Mandalorian" garbage, and infinitely more valuable to our social conscience than the over-rated "To Kill a Mockingbird," "The Arkansas Pigman Massacre" is a film you must put on your watch-list.
No comments:
Post a Comment