Dogs! Ick! Man's best friends. Come on. To you dog lovers...try some human contact and get out of your mother's basement. Live life...meet a girl...maybe kiss her...and leave the animal world behind. Many cultures eat those things...you want to sleep with them. Sure...put an animal in your bed. How brilliant is that? They crap all over the place. They bark at things that shouldn't be barked at. They demand all their bowel movements be supervised by you. Today we look at a 1983 film directed by Worth Keeter, "Dogs of Hell" (aka "Rottweiler 3D").
A secret army experiment gets out of hand. The same army that seems allergic to winning a war has bred Rottweilers to replace the soldier on the battlefield. Head scientist, Fletcher (Bill Gribble), warns the army that these dogs have become evil and are more dangerous than originally thought. After the transport that is moving the dogs crashes, the dogs are loose in a resort town. The town, Lake Lure, has a sheriff named Hank. A low energy guy with a big gun. The Rottweilers will strike right away. The first victims are some nubile and frisky models at a campsite in the woods. The babes will be shredded. Now we meet Denny (Robert Bloodworth) and his babe wife, Kim (Kathy Hasty). They run the local watering hole. This is significant because they put on female mud wrestling matches in their establishment. Nothing to do with the plot, but who will object to gratuitous mud wrestling.
Okay, the dogs keep shredding townsfolk. Fletcher arrives and tells Hank that he'd like to capture the dogs alive. The dogs seem to prefer babes...very sad. Hank is not of the same mindset and will have the opportunity to blow the buggers away...but there are a ,lot of little buggers. More attacks. Just like the killer whale in the Richard Harris film "Orca," these mangy bastards begin burning down the town. Don't ask. Uh oh...the babe bar wench, Kim, is now in mortal danger as the dogs chase her and Denny to the roof. Don't ask. Now Hank realizes his number one enemy is Fletcher, not the dogs. Fortunately, the sheriff keeps blowing away the fury demons. Will he have enough bullets?
Just how does a Rottweiler burn down a town? Would people in America's marginalized communities still be starving if we decided to eat the dogs instead of sleeping with them? If the army can't even use a missile system in combat correctly, can we trust them to use animals? Cheesy and campy, this 3D movie is a lot of fun. Though MST3K never picked up on it, you can play Joel and the robots when you and friends watch "Dogs of Hell."
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