If Fred Olen Ray wants to make a straight to DVD film paying homage to the "Tombs of the Blind Dead" series, who am I to argue? One thing is guaranteed...it'll be better than any of these Marvel/Disney monstrosities. Throw in Sarah French as a very sexy thief/murderer and right away, this becomes a must see cinematic event. Today we look at 2014's "Zombie Pirates," directed by Steve Sessions.
Her latest burglary doesn't go well. Linda (French) had to murder the homeowner and received a round in her shoulder as well. Her spoils? A fake piece of artwork and a seemingly worthless notebook. Uh oh, she was followed away from the scene of the crime by a mysterious professor type, Grant (J.C. Pennylegion). He has the video surveillance feed capturing Linda's murder/burglary. Now Grant blackmails her into obtaining pirate treasure. More specifically, Captain Lessard's (Eric Spudic) treasure. Centuries ago, the pirate made a pact with the devil...see, he needs human souls and bodies to eat. The bargain. Lessard will bestow silver coins on anyone who kills five humans for him and dumps their bodies near his ghost pirate ship.
Grant translates the notebook for Linda and forces her to kill five times to secure Lessard's silver. The sultry thief turned serial killer does this well. On successive nights, just like the notebook instructs, Linda lures in a victim, murders him, and dumps the corpse. Lessard's ship arrives, collects the corpse, and the ghost pirates eat the poor sap. Uh oh...finding five will not be so easy as a nosy cop (Denman Powers) is on her tail. The zombie pirates are an impatient bunch and if Linda does not deliver, will make her one of the sacrifices.
Will Linda be able to deliver five corpses for the hungry zombie pirates? Will Fred Olen Ray's version of the 'Tombs of the Blind Dead' be packed with the deviance of the original Euro-Trash classic? From executive produce Fred Olen Ray...zombies...a babe thief...and gore...see "Zombie Pirates."
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