Monsters in the Woods, Big Bugs vs. Movie Crew

Anyone who has made a low budget exploitation/horror film will be able to identify with today's film. The great thing about a low budget exploitation film crew and cast is that there will certainly be nubile babes (probably nude), hunks, and neat monsters. With buckets of blood, and some great cheesecake and beefcake, sometimes clothed, we have 2012's "Monsters in the Woods," directed by J. Horton.

Jayson (Glenn Plummer), the director is on location in the California wilderness. He has made what he thinks is a great horror/exploitation film. The production company has sent him back to the location to film a whole lot more sex and gore scenes. Burt (Edward Hendershott) is an actor with the pleasure of being in a pre-marital sex scene. As he is screwing the nude Suzy (Jacqui Holland), Turkeyhead comes by and kills both of them in gory fashion. Jayson isn't happy with the scene but it'll have to do. Burt is working for free and Jayson has agreed to put his girlfriend, the pill-popping Ashley (Linda Bella) into the film. Uh oh, some earthquakes allow huge bug monsters to come out of the ground. These creatures will start eating and disfiguring the beautiful cast.

But wait! All is not lost! A pair of bickering monster hunters, who may be lovers, arrive. The sultry Ariel (Claudia Perea) is armed with a sawed-off shotgun. The bugs will eat her partner and now she is on the run. Claudia meets up with Burt, after saving his skin, and the two team up. Burt is looking to save Ashley, who is making out with anyone she can. The bugs will pick apart the script writer's (Ashton Blanchard) face. Ariel begins levelling with Burt and the truth is ominous.  Now Burt realizes survival isn't his only goal...saving the entire planet is. As Ashley gets a crash course in acting, and as Jesus Christ enters Jayson's plot, the horrifying bug creatures mount a final offensive to disembowel the beautiful.

Just where did Ariel come from, and what secrets does she know about the bug monsters? Just how does Jesus Christ, complete with robe and his crown of thorns, make their way into the plot?  Is Ashley sexy enough to be saved...or to die the most gory death in this film? This is a fun one, and the problems that plague a low-budget film shoot are hilarious...at least to the viewer. For some great gore, cheesecake, beefcake, and creature effects, see "Monsters in the Woods."