Friday, July 7, 2017

2020 Texas Gladiators, Lone Star Apocalypse

"Creating a permanent home from the ruins of a nuclear apocalypse is complicated," utters the beautiful Sabrina Siani in 1992's "2020 Texas Gladiators." Those of us who have done just that know the wisdom in which Ms. Siani's character speaks.  You remember Ms. Siani from my review of Ten Zan: The Ultimate Mission . Ms. Siani, for that film, traveled to North Korea to make a film for, and crafted by Kim Jong Il. Say what you want about that enigmatic dictator, he does make better films than "Jupiter Ascending" and "Thor." Though Jesus Franco labelled Ms. Siani as one of the worst actresses he ever met, this blonde beauty makes terrific films and is more talented than either Mila Kunis or Diane Keaton.
Evil marauder approaches Miada
Nuclear apocalypse decimates the world and evil storm-trooper type marauders rape and pillage any vestiges of civilization. As the sultry Maida (Siani) witnesses her friends pillaged and she is almost raped, Nisus (Al Cliver) saves her. Nisus is a ranger, part of a group of noble wasteland warriors. Maida, sensing potential mate material, brings Nisus back to her colony. This colony is a refinery which harnesses a new energy source which may be key in reconstituting a post nuclear society. Bad news, the evil marauders attack, kill Nisus, grab Maida, and sell her as a sex slave to a Texas gunfighter.
Miada looks for revenge
Because Maida is so good looking, more rangers come and rescue her. This time, Maida and her new ranger buddies are chased into the forest where they team up with grouchy Indians. Now Maida is mad and through being raped and sold as meat. She grabs a shotgun and joins the Indians and rangers as they head back to re-take to refinery from the evil forces who dress like Nazis.  With Maida pumping her shotgun, and rangers with machine-guns and rifles, and Indians with bows and arrows, our ragtag army must defeat a heavily equipped fighting force in order to restore goodness to an apocalyptic wasteland.
Miada and her ranger buddies
Will the ultimate winner earn the affections of Maida? Will the Indians fight nobly and again be cheated out of their land? If Jesus Franco saw this film, would he change his opinion of Ms. Saini? Is Mr. Franco's opinion of Ms. Siani heavily influenced by the fact that she refused to have sex with him? Instead of paying big bucks to see the newest "Transformers" bore-a-thon, take in this Italian exploitation epic "2020 Texas Gladiators," directed by Joe D'Amato.


  1. Sounds like Abel Ferrara could remake this film now. Of course, Maida would be stunningly beautiful since she is one of the last women standing. Good review. This film reminds me of a post apocalyptic bar crawl for a hookup.

  2. D'Amato enough said. Dude's ALWAYS A RIOT!!!

  3. Oh man I was totally sold until I saw D'Amato directed it, just not a fan of his, unfortunately but I have liked some of his films so will check this one out, nice review as always mate.

  4. Chris, a killer review for a movie monstrosity worthy of a Mystery Science Theater 3000 or an Elvira Midnight Horror Movie Bust show... pun not intended.