Thursday, November 19, 2015

Avalanche Sharks, Hungry for Bikinis

Scott Wheeler, the Bostonian who brought us the visual effects for "Sand Sharks" and "Xena: Warrior Princess," directs today's entry, 2013's "Avalanche Sharks."  Hold on folks, there is a lot here...most of it is clad in a bikini.  For those of you who have been demanding a companion piece for Snow Shark here it is.  In fairness to "Avalanche," the women are a lot hotter than "Snow." Unfortunately, for those women, the skimpier the bikini, the gorier their demise....life's like that.
Do you love me?
Plot? Fine, if you absolutely need to know.  Mammoth Lakes ski resort has a problem.  Snow sharks!  Where did they come from?  Some say an Indian deity...but actually they are from an alien world and came to Earth in a shark spaceship. Yep...ripped right out of today's headlines.  They go through spring break skiers like crap through a goose.  Pictured above is Barb (Erika Jordan)...so pretty...so sad. She was trying to get her BF to tell her he loved her. Fat chance!  Anyway, Kate Nauta plays a hot marine biologist who's parents were feasted on by these fiends.  She knows what they are up against, but no one will believe her, except Wade (Alexander Mendeluk) and his GF, Madison (Kelle Cantwell).  
Marine Biologist
Of course the mayor and the owner of the ski resort try to suppress any discussion of avalanche sharks...bad fore business, you know.  Babes in hot tubs will fall, and ski patrol will be mobilized. But wait, Hiro (Amy Ninh) is ready to hit the slopes.  This mysterious Japanese extreme skier will factor heavily into the conclusion...no spoilers here.  Oh yes, Gina Holden plays a very kinky nurse, and it is through her we are told this epic tale.  Lots of gore, lots of fun, lots of bikini scenes and carnage.
Ski Patrol
Beware, anytime you see an actress in this film that you fall instantly in lust with....she'll be eaten. Will our pretty marine biologist avenge the deaths of her parents?  Will the ski patrol get bigger snow mobiles?  This film is appearing now on EL REY Network (Ch. 253 if you have DishTV), and available on DVD at a reasonable price from Amazon.  For a great looking cast, lots of blood, and intense drama...catch "Avalanche Sharks."

2 comments:

  1. Hate SnowSharks. Love SnoCones.

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  2. Sounds like tasty B-movie cheese, Chris!

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