Wednesday, June 10, 2026

Who is Killing the Cheerleaders?, A True Humanitarian

Who is killing the cheerleaders? Whoever it is, it ain't being done fast enough. I mean, get a flame thrower or a dozen grenades...have mercy upon us, take them all out! Okay, no one loves cheerleaders more than I. Watch any NFL game and the only ones putting effort across, aren't the so-called athletes, but the real athletes, the cheerleaders. In sports the players have become less talented over the years and are infested with marijuana, bad hair, stupid tattoos, and a penchant for throwing games at the behest of gambling interests. Cheerleaders? Still pure...no prostitution scandals, drug scandals, and if they eat too much, they are thrown off the squad. Yes! But in our film today, they are unlikable, don't cheer, and make everyone defensive or sad. Mercifully, someone is killing them...or should be killing them. Let us look at 2020's "Who is Killing the Cheerleaders?," directed by Jeff Hare.

Yep, 10 years ago a high school cheer team was slaughtered and the killer has never been found. Present day, the only cheerleader who survived, Elliette (Ella Cannon), is returning to town to become an English teacher at the school. Yep, traumatized to the point of amnesia about the event, Elliette does not remember who the killer was.  Worse yet, the memories that seem to be slowly coming back suggest she is the butcher. To handle the PTSD of that traumatic event, Elliette becomes the cheer coach. Other suspects...everyone! The guy she had a crush on in high school, Jonathan (Austin Freeman), who is now hot for her. The nerd Lisbeth (Kayla Fields) who thought all cheerleaders were b***hes in high school, but now befriends Elliette. Everyone!

So now she's back and weirdness rules the day in her life.  Her memory seems to be bad and killings begin happening. Elliette's cell phone pings at and during all the murder scenes. Her diary has confessions to the murders which she does not remember writing.  Then the cheerleaders on her own squad are murdered one by one the way they were murdered 10 years ago...or are they?   Now even Elliette's bestie and new BF believe she is the killer.  The cops even suspect her.  Oh, the cheerleaders? Worry not, none of these gals will ever make the Dallas Cowboys, Las Vegas Raiders, or Miami Dolphins squads...no way, Jose!

Is Elliette the killer, or is this too easy?  Are the present day cheerleaders really being murdered? Why can't someone make one of those 1970s drive-in/exploitation films about cheerleaders in peril? However unsatisfying this one is, if you want to see a cheerleader in peril film that will not arouse you, see "Who is Killing the Cheerleaders?" 

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