About four decades ago Siskel & Ebert went bananas at the carnage and gratuity of the slasher film "Silent Night, Bloody Night." Neither one is around to see our film today, 2023's "XXX-MAS," directed by James Dean. Just as the uber offensive, at least to Siskel & Ebert, came to be known as a feminist anthem, one wonders if today's film would have been regarded as holiday frivolity and cheer by those two. Bloody, prurient, and gratuitous, James Dean knows how to make films this blog loves.
As the film begins, Santa (Drew Marvick) is spending a quiet night with the very sexy Mrs. Claus (Lindsay Washburn). Something sets him off and he goes on a rampage massacring attendees of a Christmas party of adult film industry personnel. He's not done. Johnny D (Chris Ruppert) is filming a pornographic Christmas film. He has summoned his favorite porn actors and actresses. We gravitate to Kristy Kreme (Morrigan Thompson) as she seems to have what it takes to be a "Final Girl." The filming starts and Santa barges in. The magical being punches his fist through a production guy and begins impaling actors and actresses as they are in the throes of passion. He'll even invade to lesbian actresses in the tub and impale one with a candy cane. See where this is going? If you answered yes, you may need to talk to a professional.
Gore, impalements, and stabbings abound. So will shotgun blasts, nail guns, and bloody cookies. Black Mamba (Jonathan May), a porn actor who initially wears a reindeer tally-whacker, mans up and he and Kristi work on escaping and saving surviving talent. Uh oh...Santa has brought with him a man-eating fanged elf, Armando (Joe Hammerstone) and he will eat some actresses...I know, perhaps a double meaning...get your mind out of the gutter. Wait! When all looks hopeless, Kristi may have discovered a weakness they can exploit on Santa. Felissa Rose will arrive and have some terrific scenes. Gore and gratuitous sex scenes of a very prurient nature will splash across the silver screen in a bacchanal display of carnal gore and euphoria. Mr. Dean knows how to keep the plot moving and the viewer aroused and screaming.
Will Kristi survive to the end credits? What did set Santa off that caused him to impale and disembowel porn industry workers? Has the increased commercialism of the Christmas season perverted the adult film industry? For some steamy and bloody horror that will offend so many, see "XXX-MAS" and interpret it as a morality film.
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