Snakehead Swamp, Toothy Fish Eat Bikini Babes

Remember the snakehead terror that almost destroyed the Washington, DC area?  No?  Too bad.  Funny, the media doesn't write about it at all.  Try remembering.  A U.S. media and congress, eager to blame China for everything, concoct a story of a fish smuggled from China, thrown into a Maryland swamp, and reproducing faster than the U.S. budget.  The entire ecosystem is endangered we're told.  As Florida efforts are stifled to protect pets and baby's in playpens from the onrush of Burmese pythons by the Federal Endangered Species Act, Maryland (where most of the U.S. Congress resides) is allowed to ignore this legislation.  Yep...Congress protects themselves and tells all others to eat cake.  The snakeheads swamp and lake homes were destroyed to get rid of these fish.  Today's film, 2014's "Snakehead Swamp," directed by Dan E. FountLeRoy, is a good reminder of this hidden period of American history.

A delivery truck crashes into a Louisiana bayou when the specimens, toothy snakeheads (fish that can walk on land), eat the crew.  Now all the specimens run into the swamp. The toothy monsters begin eating swamp folk immediately. Five teens, three bikini babes and two hunks, take a boat into the swamp for pre-marital sex and probably alcohol. Chris (Dave Davis) likes Ashley (Ayla Kell).  Ashley's cheating BF Ian (Ross Britz) is there making moves on bikini babe Sam (Melissa Cordero) and underage bombshell Kerri (Sloane Coe). Now they are attacked by the monster fish. Oh yes, William (Antonio Fargas), an old swamp man, knows the voodoo curse that haunts the swamp.

Oh!  Remember the sultry Terri Garber of "Dynasty" fame?  She is Park Ranger Carley in this...and Chris' mom.  Still a babe, Carley heads into the swamp to murder the fish that are trying to eat her son and the bikini babes.  The State Police and the U.S. Air Force send in troops to attack the creatures.  As usual, the U.S. Air Force is useless.  The monsters now move to land and go through weddings and lawn parties like crap through a goose.  Ashley gets sweet on Chris, Ian gets mad, and poor Kerrie...oh, so sad...you'll see.  Sam?  In these types of movies, there can only be one babe at the final credits, I'm afraid.  Now it is all out war between Ranger Carley, the teens, State and federal government, and poor William against these monstrosities.

Why oh why couldn't Kerri have survived, at least until she was of age?  Will two-timing Ian get what he deserves from these monsters?  If they survive, will Ranger Carley be prosecuted under the Federal Endangered Species Act, as she is not from a politically protected class of Americans?  This is the best film ever made about snakeheads.  As congress and the media blame China for the snakehead episode of American history, thankfully the Syfy Channel has made and given us great cinema in "Snakehead Swamp."