Monday, January 23, 2023

Nine Guests for a Crime, Euro Babes and Hunks Die Horribly

Some Giallo today...always good.  This one had no tan lines!  Er...the actresses in this film had no tan lines.  They'll frolic, prance around nude or in very skimpy bikinis, just lounge about nude, and have a lot of extra-marital sex.  The hunks in this film will do the same, except their privates are covered up by nifty Italian swimwear.  Oh yes, they'll also die horribly.  So sad...the sexy will die so horribly as in all Giallo films.  But will anyone survive?  Should they?  Today we look at 1977's, from Italy, "Nine Guests for a Crime," directed by Ferdinando Baldi.

Michele (Massimo Foschi) is quite the hunk and married to quite the babe Carla (Sofia Dionisio)...she has no tan lines, if I haven't mentioned that.  Michele is a man, a European.  We can hardly expect him to be confined to one babe...so he is screwing his dad's new wife, too...Guilia (Caroline Laurence).  She has no tan lines and loves Michele more than the shriveled old fool who married her.  I should say the dad, Uberto (Arthur Kennedy) has taken his three sons and their hot wives to a private island for two weeks of sun and beach.  They all hate each other.  Also along is batty old Aunt Elisabetta (Dana Ghia) and her dozen loaded rifles.  The carnality begins right away.  Patrizia (Loretta Persichetti) is a babe, with no tan lines, who is sad because her tarot cards say "Death" all the time.

Michele and Giulia discuss how easy it would be if Carla and Uberto assumed room temperature.  Then Carla mysteriously drowns and Uberto is murdered in his bed.  Now everyone suspects them.  Oh yes, the crew of the yacht that mans the boat that brought our peeps to the island are murdered.  Now the bickering family are castaways.  One by one, the hunks and babes die horribly.  They still find time to engage in forbidden carnality and prance around showing their lack of tan lines.  Uh oh...Aunt Elisabetta comes out as a total whack-ball claiming a ghost of her former lover is committing the murder.  Uh oh again, the ghost is seen by the family members.  The ensuing murders are well done and the bickering husbands and wives seem incapable of putting their differences aside to survive.

Is there a catfight brewing between the hot wives?  Just who's ghost is this and what is his beef with the family?  Is batty old Aunt Elisabetta the evil psycho killer?  Heavy on the cheese and beef (no tan lines and nice abs), our film is a pleasing horror film with gory deaths and graphic extra-marital sex.  For a prurient selection on your evening movie queue, try "Nine Guests for a Crime."          


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