The Phantom Empire, Leather Clad Vixens and Cave Bunnies

See Sybil Danning as a leather clad alien queen wielding a big sword and cleavage.  See Michelle Bauer as a cave bunny clad in a prehistoric bikini engaging in topless catfights with other cave bunnies.  See a leather clad vixen take down a T-Rex.  Yep, a Fred Olen Ray film, 1988's "The Phantom Empire."  Babes, monsters, spears, and ripped off bikini tops will enthrall you in this epic B movie.

The beautiful Denae (Suzy Stokey) hires two private eye adventurers, Cort (Ross Hagen) and Eddy (Dawn Wildsmith) to take her on an expedition to find a lost world beneath the Earth's surface teeming with diamonds.  A professor from Miskatonic University, Andrew (Jeffrey Combs), and Count Yorga himself, (Robert Quarry) join the adventure.  Quarry plays Professor Strock.  The team finds the underground empire quickly and run into cave dwelling cannibals that try to make Denae into rotisserie babe.  The team saves her, kills many of the cannibals and battle a laser shooting Robby the Robot.  They run into a cave bunny (Bauer), who jiggles nicely in her bikini.  She is in love with Andrew.

Finally the queen shows up, wielding a tight leather outfit, silver boots and a big sword.  She'll take Andrew as her sex toy and gives the others to spear wielding cave bunnies.  The aforementioned catfight occurs as Michelle Bauer loses her top.  Now jiggling better, the team must battle dinosaurs and free Andrew.  Desiring diamonds, our team is not in a rush to leave.  Now they'll have to battle Sybil Danning, more dinosaurs, and more cave bunnies.  Do you need anything more?

I know what you are all asking...will Sybil Danning and Michelle Bauer engage in a mud soaked catfight?  Will the alien queen corrupt the otherwise clean cut Miskatonic University professor?  Does Count Yorga have any surprises for this nubile and jiggling civilization?  Perfection!  It is a mystery why Hollywood pushes "Moonfall" on all of us when a perfect storyline can be found in 80s epics made by Fred Olen Ray.  For a prurient good time, see "The Phantom Empire."