Friday, October 9, 2020

Pumpkins, Monster Pumpkin Man on Rampage

Anything featuring sultry actress Dani Thompson is going to be terrific. In this one she will play a beautiful, shotgun wielding barmaid...yes!!! Is there any more perfect character in modern fiction? Okay, there's more...a monster specter with a pumpkin head that spits acid and wields a hatchet. Almost as perfect as a sultry barmaid with a weapon, and these two ingredients combine to give us a perfect film for Halloween. Today we look at 2018's "Pumpkins," directed by Maria Lee Metheringham.

A crazy old uncle (Terry Woods) loves his pumpkins...and they love him. When two thugs trespass onto his farm and deface his lovely pumpkins, the shock kills the old man. His pumpkins embrace his corpse and resurrect him as a seven foot tall monster with an eerie pumpkin head. He'll kill the two thugs with an acid spit and a knife. Then he'll hit the woods and kill two great looking campers engaging in pre-marital sex. The resurrected uncle is still protecting his land and his lovely niece (Maria Lee Metheringham) is enabling him. Uh oh...a group of great looking teens have entered the woods to learn survival skills. They will learn dying skills, thanks to evil pumpkins with teeth and a hatchet.

The pretty Jen (Iona Mckeown), Macie (Georgia Annable), and hunk Tommy (Craig Edwards) will end up on the run as their counselors are butchered. We hope at least one will survive as they are some great looking teens. Uh oh...a pub in town will soon be beset by the pumpkin-monster. Pam (Thompson), the sultry barmaid, will grab a shotgun and the drunk patrons will do a pathetic job at fighting this homicidal pumpkin phenomenon. One by one the patrons will be knifed or axed. Now the great looking teens, or what is left of them, find their way to the pub...and our fiend is waiting.

Okay, our attachment to the teens is shallow, but will the sultry Pam, clad in a tight red sweater, survive the rampage? If Pam does survive, will there be a series of graphic novels in which Pam hunts pumpkin-man and his beautiful and armed niece? Can we rent out pumpkin-man and send him into America's fraternities and sororities? This is a fun one and is perfect for your Halloween movie list. For some wonderful slasher action, some nice cheesecake and beefcake, see "Pumpkins."

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