Saturday, January 14, 2017

Space Mutiny, Unanswered Space Babe Questions

For those of us who saw 1988's "Space Mutiny" when it first came out, unanswered questions have plagued us ever since.  The nubile Lieutenant Lamont (Billy Second) presents a macabre query which has haunted us for decades.  The pretty officer is blown away by heavies, but emerges unharmed steering the ship a few minutes later.  How can that be?  Then there is the uncomfortable question of Cisse Cameron.  The actress plays the leading space-babe in this film.  For almost 30 years B movie fans have all been wrestling with an awkward, unspoken question.  Is Cisse Cameron, space-babe, in fact a space-babe, or is she too reminiscent of our grandmothers?  However weird this sounds, her body says one thing, but her face...well...you be the judge.
The Southern Sun (which looks oddly similar to Battlestar Galactica) carries thousands of Earthlings in a 10 light year journey to colonize another world. Trouble...a shuttle's landing on the Southern Sun is sabotaged and only it's captain, Ryder (Reb Brown) survives.  The Sun's commander (Cameron Mitchell) welcomes Ryder aboard, but his daughter Lea (Cameron) is angry at him.  Meanwhile, a psycho officer, Kalgan (John Phillip Law) plots a mutiny on the Sun.  Oh yes, several psychic babes board the ship and have psychic pre-marital sex with male crew members.  As the lead psychic babe warns Cameron of Kalgan's evil intentions, Lea changes her tune and seduces Ryder with a disco and hula-hoop dance...kind of erotic with gratuitous derriere shots, and kin of scary at the same time.
Okay, now this film gets good.  Lea and Ryder witness Kalgan murder the sultry Lt. Lamont. The lovebirds then get  into a major laser gun fight with Kalgan and his henchmen.  During the fight, Lamont is back at her console, recovering nicely from her demise.  As the commander receives more counsel and pre-marital psychic sex from the psychic space babe, Ryder and Lea discover the extent of Kalgan's horrific plan for the colonists aboard the Southern Sun.  As Kalgan has either murdered or corrupted the majority of the Sun's security forces, Lea, Ryder, and some laser guns and rocket launchers take on Kalgan and his thug horde. As Lea and Ryder engage in steamy pre-marital our heroine must beware as she has no idea what Kalgan is about to attempt on her face.
Can the hunk Ryder and the precocious semi-space babe Lea overcome Kalgan's might and evil desires and save the Southern Sun?   Will the psychic space babes trade in psychic pre-marital sex for a more carnal variety of intimacy?  Will Ryder's eyes, which are glued on Lea's body, ever gravitate to her face?  "Space Mutiny," directed by David Winters is a lot of fun.  For those of you fed up with the hype and preachy nature of "Star Wars," this film is a perfect elixir.  Fans of "Battlestar Galactica" will enjoy the space battle scenes, as they are taken directly out of the television series.  

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