Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Terror Train, All Aboard and All Die

Charles and Diana were not married when this film came out, but the British tabloids reported that their favorite date was when the two sneaked into the 1980 film "Terror Train."  The love-birds laughed and laughed and fell in love (I made all this up, actually).  Following 1978's "Halloween," any slasher film would be excoriated by the critics. Jamie Lee Curtis quickly cemented her status as queen of the scream queens with "Halloween," "Prom Night," and "Terror Train." A careful examination of these three films reveals that "Terror Train" is the one she has the best screams in.  Oh yes, for fans of the 80s, enjoy the performances of David Copperfield and Vanity.
Three years ago, some stupid pre-med fraternity kids play a sick prank on Kenny the virgin (DerekMcKinnon). They convince the dweeb that Alana (Curtis) wants to de-virginize him and send him to Alana's bed. Uh oh, Alana is behind the bed beckoning him and when Derek enters it, he is med by a rotting, torn up corpse.  Off to an insane asylum Derek goes. Three years later, our obnoxious pre-med students rent an excursion steam locomotive for a night of wild partying.  Carne (Ben Johnson) is the conductor, and he will have to keep the kids in line. Oh yeah, it's a masquerade party.  Uh oh, someone else has arrived to party, but this guy has homicide in mind.  Before the train pulls out of the station, our maniac begins his spree.
Oh yes, for entertainment, a magician (David Copperfield) is on the train. But one remembers hiring him.  Double uh oh, Kenny the virgin, now Kenny the insane virgin, was a magician. Coincidence?  Babes and hunks clad in costumes, or naked, and some engaging in pre-marital sex begin getting chopped up. Everyone who participated in the prank three years ago is in danger.  Alana better watch out, the magician is trying to seduce her. Is Kenny the virgin the killer? Will Alana escape the carnage because she is played by Ms. Curtis?  Does anything positive ever come out of masquerade bashes?
Lots of gore and seemingly an endless amount of corpses keep this slasher film fresh.  Directed by Roger Spotiswoode and filmed in Quebec, "Terror Train" is a lot bloodier than either "Halloween" or "Prom Night."  Available on YouTube, go back and visit the 1980s and enjoy "Terror Train."

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