The Plot: Universal Cryogenics is run by the evil Dr. Miller (Troy Donahue). To avoid financial trouble, Miller is selling the organs of his "patients" on the Mexican black market. Unfortunately, without hearts and kidneys, these patients will never be resurrected. Mary Hampton (Linda Blair) is his assistant, and is unaware of his nefarious dealings. She gets romantically involved with a client, a rich guy who just deposited his big-hearted (we actually get to see this heart before it is shipped south of the border) wife and his son (who was killed while trying to rob a bank). Blair develops suspicions, and leaves her abusive husband one night to snoop around with her new boyfriend.
Friday, February 21, 2014
The Chilling, Cryogenics, Zombies, and Linda Blair
Picture this. Uncle Zach, who grew smelly and grouchy in his last few years on this mortal coil, dies! Because of imaginative estate planning, he is deposited in deep freeze at the local cryogenics lab. One month later, Aunt Irma gives his clothes to Goodwill. Two months later, Aunt Irma passes around his diary and we find out that Zach liked to wear Victoria's Secret intimates. Three months later, Aunt Irma delivers Zach's mangy, old St. Bernard to the pound and begins to date a golf pro. Six months later, Zach walks through the front door, reeking of cryogenic fluid and drooling. While our government tries to alarm us about cholesterol, we forget about the impending horrors which breakthroughs in cryogenics may bring. Hence, 1989's "The Chilling," starring Linda Blair, presents us a metaphor for the aforementioned horror story.