Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Wonder Women, Brain Sex in Manila

Wonder Women (No! Not the Lynda Carter TV show) is B movie Hall of Fame material.  Action, chases, gunfights, an all women bikini and go-go boot clad army, a beautiful super-villain, and exotic locations assure that the viewer will have a most pleasant experience.  The all-star cast includes Nancy Kwan (The Wrecking Crew and Hawaii 5-0) as the evil Dr. Tsu, Maria DeAragon (Star Wars and The Cremators) as Linda (a very capable soldier), and a young Sid Haig as Dr. Tsu's agent.  Let us get to it!
The plot:  Like many classic movies this holiday season, this one begins with a nude synchronized swimmer performing an underwater routine.  When she surfaces, several bikini and go-go boot clad soldiers abduct her.  This same unit then also abducts an equestrian athlete, a basketball player, and a jai alai player.  These athletes are brought to a mysterious island, about 200 yards from Manila Bay (you'd think someone would've noticed it).  This is where Dr. Tsu then harvests their organs and sells them to really rich folks who want youthful bodies.  Unfortunately for her, the jai alai player is insured for half a million dollars and the insurance company wants him back instead of paying on the policy.  Enter Mike Harber, super agent.  He, contracted by the insurers, flies to Manila to find him.
Harber hits the streets of Manila and asks a lot of questions.  A local crime lord, Won Ton Charlie, puts him on to another snitch who tells him about the Island of 1000 Women.  After Charlie's men fail to kill Harber, Dr. Tsu sends the voluptuous Linda (DeAragon played a creature in the bar scene in Star Wars) to kill him.  Linda arrives in Manila, seduces Harber, and misses with a gunshot.  A pillow fight ensues and then Harber chases Linda through the streets of Manila.  This chase scene tops the one Gene Hackman had through NYC in The French Connection.When Harber finally catches Linda, he forces her to bring her to the aforementioned island.  There he is captured and meets Dr. Tsu.  In addition to learning about the evil doctor's ring, he also is introduced to brain sex.  In this form of intimate relations, which Dr. Tsu and Harber engage in, no physical touching occurs but 1,000 erotic sources of the brain are tapped.  As Dr. Tsu puts it, "brain sex eliminates emotional disorders" caused by conventional sex.
Will Dr. Tsu and Harber fall in love?  Will he rescue the jai alai player?  Will Linda get jealous of Harber's new relationship with the evil doctor?  These questions and more are answered after dramatic battle scenes which include mutants (failed experiments) that escape from Dr. Tsu's dungeon.  This movie is 100% campy and 100% enjoyable.  For exotic adventure, it beats Marlon Brando's Last Tango In Paris.

1 comment:

  1. I think I have seen this movie before on cable tv a long time ago.

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