Thursday, November 14, 2013

Crocodile 2: Death Swamp, Most Important Movie of our Times!

Crocodile 2: Death Swamp (2002), is the best film starring Heidi Lenhart!  I really like this film, largely because of her performance as a pretty stewardess who overcomes great odds to defeat two giant crocs and an evil rock band.  The plot is a good one.  An evil rock band who uses the F word too much, robs a bank, and kills people doing it.  They get away and board a flight to Mexico with the stolen loot secreted in their instrument cases.  Mia (Lenhart) is the stewardess on this flight, feeling sad about an under-achieving boyfriend. 
The Mexican bound flight hits a storm and crashes into a Mexican swamp.  The evil rock band survives, as do Mia and a handful of inconsequential passengers (croc bait).  The evil rock band, armed with guns, enslaves the survivors to carry the stolen loot through the swamp.  Enter a couple of crocs, including one really big one.  The pilots and another pretty stewardess will be eaten fairly quickly in very gory fashion.
When croc starts eating the survivors, including some of the rock band, the seemingly meek and diminutive Mia puts all her stewardess training to good use fighting off the croc and plotting escape from her captors.  Even when her unimpressive boyfriend and a slick croc hunter join the battle, Mia remains the main force in defeating the evil rock band and the crocs.  In the course of her heroism, Mia will be pummeled by the evil rock band, have her uniform torn to shreds, and almost raped.  Unfortunately for the demented musicians, Mia is all fight.  Battered, torn, and bruised, one wonders if either the monster crocs or the demented minstrels have any chance against this feisty stewardess.

Even if she survives, will Mia have the gumption to dump her hunk, but loser BF? The moral of this movie is that airlines need to start hiring pretty stewardesses again, because a fat, ugly stewardess could not have weaved her way through the swamp with the grace Mia had.  Ms. Lenhart does a fantastic job, and portrays the best stewardess since Ursula Andress in "Loaded Guns."  Energetic, gory...and most of all fun, "Crocodile 2" is a film that will surely please.

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