Hellmaster, The Forgotten Ghouls

Remember how unsettled John Carpenter's "Prince of Darkness" made you feel?  Well, take that film, add in a couple of teaspoons of David Cronenberg and we have 1992's "Hellmaster." Key ingredients of the Carpenter near classic were a dying church, which may have in part symbolized the faith we have lost as a culture, and some creepy street people, which perhaps reminded us of neglect for the more needy in our society.  In "Hellmaster," our inability to deal with homelessness comes back to haunt us.  Sure...throw in a mad scientist or two and some occult of the satanic nature...oh yes, lots of gore, and some gratuitous nudity and kills...and we're off!

Robert (David Emge, "Dawn of the Dead") is an investigative reporter covering the plight of the homelessness.  He finds that a Professor Jones (John Saxon) has given them a drug that has killed most of them and turned the survivors into slavish ghouls.  Jones, who has developed a drug in his study of clairvoyance, plans to conquer the world with his army.  First stop...the college he used to teach at.  He not only taught there but murdered lots of students during human experimentation. The campus church these killings took place in is now boarded up. In a school bus from The Happy Face Bible School, him and his ghouls head to the college.  On the way he meets up with the pretty Tracy (Melissa Zafarana)...and what he does to her is...well...you'll see.

Once at the college, he sets his ghouls loose on a handful of students.  The ghouls are murderous and are armed with syringes with a formula that will turn pretty and handsome college kids into ghouls. Shelly (Amy Raasch) is a pretty coed that captures Jones' attention.  Robert will meet up with Shelly and fill her in on who exactly they are dealing with.  After seeing her friends meet horrible deaths, and realizing there is no escaping Jones' ghoulish army, she comes up with a horrific plan to beat Jones at his own game.  She's determined, but does she have what it takes to go up against a satanic monster?

This is an uncomfortable film as many of the ghouls are children.  Our protagonists must defend themselves, which will include killing the child ghouls. The gore is also intense, as director Douglas Schulze held nothing to the imagination.  Will Robert and Shelly survive the murderous onslaught? Is Professor Jones' army a fitting reaction to a society that has stopped caring for forgotten souls? "Hellmaster" is the perfect companion piece to "Prince of Darkness." Warning, if you do watch both these films in one sitting, you will be mired in an unsettled place...psychologically.

Quarries, Women in the Wild

What lies deep inside you?  Is it something like marble...strong, solid, reliable, able to make a good base?  Or is it mud and sediment...worthless and soupy?  Push yourself past the limits that have been self set, and you'll find out just what lies at the bottom of your psyche.  Today we have a gem that may remind some of "Southern Comfort" or "Black Rock."  The comparison to those films may be a fair one, but the character study in 2016's "Quarries" stands on it's own, and will come across as brutal and satisfying.

Kat (Nicole Marie Johnson, who also co-wrote this film) is beautiful, vulnerable, desperate, and weak...or so it appears.  After prying herself away from an abusive boyfriend, she arrives at a two week wilderness hike.  Jean (Sara Mornell) and Joy (JoyMcElveen) will lead several ladies, all unskilled and ill-equipped for the trek which is designed to build internal strength and an appreciation for nature.  Uh oh, forest fires force our ladies to take a detour (haven't they ever seen a slasher film?).  Yep, you guessed it!  The detour brings them into the hunting ground of a psycho group of hunters who love hunting down, torturing, and killing humans...especially women city-folk.

As the most capable of the group fall, diminutive Kat must step up...but does she have what it takes? Her task will be a daunting one as her cohorts are hardly mountain women.  In fact, Wren (Carrie Finklea) is an addict battling withdrawal.  All out war ensues, and our surviving women reach down and find something in themselves that they had no idea existed.  Is this enough to prevail from the onslaught of insaniacs equipped with shotguns, knives, and a keen sense of the woods and terrain?

Not all of our heroines will survive, and the kills will be bloody and heartbreaking.  The emergence of Kat as a strong leader is the strength of this film and perhaps a lesson to all who have been victimized and lost all confidence.  "Quarries" works as a horror story and an important work about finding strength we never knew we had.  Not the feel good film of 2017, "Quarries" (directed by Nils Taylor) is gritty, gory, and exciting.  For more information on this film, explore the below listed links.
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Bloody Pit of Horror, Torturing the Impure

The benefits of being the BFF of the Marquis De Sade are numerous.  In the case of The Crimson Executioner, the most notable perk is an endless supply of nubile young lasses.  See, if you're the Crimson Executioner, you have your work cut out for you.  The impure must be cleansed and removed from the general population.  Oh those problematic young beauties...flaunting their bodies and spreading immorality throughout society...yep...The Crimson Executioner is just the guy to restore morality and purity throughout Europe.  Today we look at an Italian horror film from 1965, "Bloody Pit of Horror."  Oh yes!  This cinematic masterpiece is filmed in PSYCHOVISION!!!

For centuries The Crimson Executioner's corpse has been locked in an iron maiden in the dungeon of an old Italian castle.  Enter a photo shoot featuring four super-models to be photographed for pics in a book of pulp murder stories.  Unaware that a strange man, Travis (Mickey Hagerty) resides in the castle, the team enter and explors.  Uh oh, accidentally the seal of the iron maiden is knocked off, releasing the spirit of The Crimson Executioner.  This will begin a downward spiral for the nubile super-models. As Travis meets his unwanted guests, he invites them to stay after eyeing Edith (Luisa Baratto), the secretary.  Even worse, the spirit of the executioner seems to possess him.

The models, posing in various shots of homicide featuring torture equipment, start falling.  The stunning Hawaiian model, Kinojo (Moa Tahi) will be forced into a huge spider web and we witness her very slow and painful death as a huge spider messes up her face.  Walter Brandi plays Rick, the hero, and he tries his best to save the girls....actually, he is very slow and lacks any sense of immediacy...but he is a hunk.  As Rick plods along, the fiend captures the remaining girls and begins doing awful things to their bodies and well being with the assistance of awful torture devices.  The scantily clad models are just too much for The Crimson Executioner's hormones, and he is in rare form, even for a centuries old monster.

Will Rick be able to speed up a bit and save any of the lovelies?  Does The Crimson Execution have valid points we can take away from this film concerning the virtues of modesty and purity?  Directed by Massimo Pupillo, "Bloody Pit of Horror" is a gratuitous exploitation, Euro-horror film relying on scantily clad, sweaty women in much peril.  Of course, what else can we expect from a film featuring the Marquis De Sade's main man?

The Phantom Light, Eerie Doings in Wales

Ghosts! Murder! Sabotage! Insanity! Conspiracy!  Oh yes, a good one today.  Set in an old lighthouse off the coast of Wales, we have 1935's "The Phantom Light." Dark nights, raging seas, claustrophobic settings highlight this horror/mystery tale.  Throw in a ditzy blonde, who may know a lot more than she is letting on, and plenty of nefarious lighthouse staff folk, and we're ready to go.

Sam (Gordon Harker) is a sharp and witty lighthouse master.  As the film begins he arrives in Wales to take over at a mysterious lighthouse. Mysterious may be an understatement.  The previous lighthouse masters have disappeared, presumably murdered.  Oh yes, the lighthouse's torch extinguishes at most inconvenient times, as a phantom light illuminates the night sky leading ships to their rocky doom.  Uh oh...or oh boy, depending on your outlook, also arriving at the same time as Sam is Alice (Binnie Hale).  She's beautiful and apparently nubile and vulnerable.  Who is Alice?  A psychic investigator?  A cop? An actress?  Her ability to be truthful is lacking.  She teams up with a square jawed reporter, Jim (Ian Hunter).

Sam wants to get to work and has no time for Alice and Jim.  This duo wants to investigate hi-jinx at the lighthouse.  Sam arrives for duty and finds a weird staff.  One of his men has been driven totally mad...but by what...or who?  As weird events commence, the safety of everyone in the house is jeopardized.  In a small rowboat, Jim arrives with Alice.  On cue, the insaniac gets loose and carnage begins felling the staff.  Uh oh again...a plethora of events knock out the light and the mystery light illuminates the sky.  Is it ghostly forces playing havoc with the ships, or is it something more sinister. Just who is Alice, and why is she half naked?  Is Jim really a reporter?

The incredibly witty dialog between Alice and Sam highlight this story.  As alluring as Alice is, Sam never trusts her...but should he?   This film, directed by Michael Powell,  is incredibly atmospheric and borders on being part-comedy.  For an effective chiller, with a terrific mystery, see "The Phantom Light."

Pigs, Men are Pigs...Women are Psychos

Ahhh, pigs and the psychos who love them. We will avoid dissecting a 1970s drive-in film for the social commentary and take a literal look at 1972's "Pigs."  Who among us hasn't scrambled for a quick and easy way to get rid of a corpse?  As our friends in the 4H Club will tell us, feeding human remains to pigs is the only sure fire way to do just that. So, in cities or suburban areas, we still rely on vats of acid, but in rural areas...well...you use what you have...pigs!

Lynn (Billy Bob Thornton's ex-wife, Toni Lawrence) murders her dad when he tries to rape her.  This violent reaction lands her in the state mental hospital (the 1970s, such a judgmental decade). She is certifiable as she still has imaginary conversations with the fiend.  Like all good asylum inmates, she escapes.  She ends up at Zambrini's (Marc Lawrence) place.  This old man runs a diner and pig farm. This weird guy robs cemeteries and morgues for corpses, as his pigs only eat human flesh.  Zambrini hires Lynn as a waitress and lets her live in a back room.

The only young women in 100 miles, Lynn draws immediate attention from the roughnecks working in the oil fields.  Ben (Paul Hickey) is the first to come calling. He sees Lynn as fresh meat, and she sees him as her dad.  During pre-marital sex, she castrates Ben and then continues to slash away. Un phased, Zambrini takes Ben's remains and feeds him to his animals.  Sheriff Cole (Jesse Vint) starts coming around and asking questions about missing corpses and Ben.  He is suspicious of Lynn and Zambrini's desire to protect her.  Lynn will keep on killing and the pigs will get fatter.  Zambrini better watch out as any man, in Lynn's unstable mind, becomes her dad.

As the mental hospital and law get closer to unraveling Lynn's secrets, she gets bolder.  Is Lynn a victim giving men exactly what they deserve?  Or is Lynn just plain insane?  What exactly are the pigs a metaphor for? Okay, that's an easy one.  The ending will have us all screaming "Ouch!" Perhaps "Pigs" is the film that "Charlotte's Web" would have been if Tobe Hooper had been the director.  Either way, for some nice, gory 1970s drive-in fare, see "Pigs."

Winterbeast, Clay-mation Terror

How can a 1992 film utilizing clay-mation and stop-motion f/x  for the creatures be bad?  Exactly!  "Winterbeast" may be low-budget and suffer from sub-par acting and writing, but it is so much fun. In an age of overused CGI, this Massachusetts made horror film is so refreshing.  Fans of Ray Harryhausen will love the effort by film-maker Christopher Thies.

The first 30 seconds of "Winterbeast" will grab you.  A little monster jumps out of someone's gut and a mangled park ranger begins pulling off his own flesh.  On a mysterious New England mountain, ancient Indian curses are causing havoc.  Park ranger Bill (Tim. R. Morgan) has been having nightmares (premonitions?) about the evil doings and wants to find one of his rangers who is missing on the mountain.  His sidekick, ranger Stillman (Mike Magri), who loves whiskey and porn, is hardly capable of assisting him.  Uh oh, a totem pole comes to life and grabs a nude woman from her cabin.  Double uh-oh, a huge bear-like creature comes out of the ground and mangles two babe hikers.

The local resort lodge is owned by a demented Malcolm McDowell type figure, Dave (Bob Harlow). He is upset at the rangers because they are scaring away his customers.  But wait!  This proprietor may be hiding something very sinister.  As more creatures take shape and more rangers and hikers get ripped apart, Ranger Bill realizes he needs to confront Dave.  Will Dave be able to convince Ranger Bill that boating accidents killed the hikers?

 Filled with gratuitous gore and nudity, "Winterbeast" is the perfect film for a cold winter's night. The above mentioned f/x are corny and over-the-top, but that's how we like them. Sure the plot is choppy but true horror film fans will have no problem following the ominous evil story-line.  Instead of paying over ten bucks to see the new "Fifty Shades" film, go to YouTube and see something fun.

Witchboard, Ouija Board Havoc

The very beautiful Tawny Kitaen has a ferocious side.  In 2002 she kicked the daylights out of her husband, Major League pitcher, Chuck Finley.  15 years previous, in the 1986 film "Witchboard," a possessed Kitaen would do the same to actor Todd Allen.  I'm not saying that playing around with a Ouija board in that horror film doomed Finley's fate, but one never knows about that paranormal stuff.  We can say that no one has ever used a Ouija board and later remarked, "...gee, I'm so glad we thought of using a Ouija board, that worked out well."

The sultry Linda (Kitaen) isn't too bright. As our film opens, she is hosting a party in which she has invited her current beau, the loser Jim (Allen) and her ex-main squeeze, the arrogant Brandon (Stephen Nichols). What could go wrong? Funny you asked...Brandon pulls out his Ouija board and contacts the spirit of a little boy, David, with Linda.  David is quite taken with the shapely redhead and the excitement begins.  But is Linda's new friend really the spirit of a boy?  The spirit gets possessive and tries to kill Jim, resulting in the death of Jim's friend.   Uh oh, the diminutive Linda begins to change and exhibits some anti-social behavior.

As Linda continues to fall under the spell of the increasingly malignant spirit, Jim and Brandon team up to save her.  They bring in a weird medium, Zarabeth (Kathleen Wilhoite) who determines that whoever Linda is communicating with is dangerous.  Zarabeth will soon be impaled, leaving our two boyfriends ill equipped to handle this otherworldly threat. As bodies begin to pile up and Jim and Brandon unravel the mystery of David and the spirit possessing Linda, our damsel now becomes a threat.  Will the spirit kill either Jim or Brandon, making Linda's decision on who to marry an easy one?

Directed by Kevin Tenney, "Witchboard" inspired many sequels, as well as more low-budget Ouija board films.  Todd Allen is terrific and presents himself as someone we'd all like to have a beer with. Kitaen is beautiful and does have some gratuitous shower scenes for you more juvenile fans of slasher films.  So...next time the party you're at gets a bit slow, and some idiot pulls out a Ouija board...RUN!!!