Monday, March 17, 2025

The Girl Who Wore Yellow Lace, Giallo in the Finger Lakes

Ah, Giallo! Gratuitous Italian horror. One remembers Edwige Fenech...the queen of Giallo. Edwige nude. Edwige in undies. Edwige in shiny black boots. Edwige in peril...or putting another sultry Euro-Babe in peril. Oh, the memories. Thanks to Mark Polonia, we have another Giallo film...sort of.  His homage to this subgenre is so much fun and conjured up great memories.  Our feature today is 2024's "The Girl Who Wore Yellow Lace," directed by Mr. Polonia. Set in New York state and starring the wonderful bikini-clad actress, Alyssa Paige.

Our film opens as a model from the Massimo agency (Jacqueline Sissenstein) is in nude bondage in some seedy basement, bound with yellow duct tape. A masked killer taunts her, then offs her with a machete. Happens...at least in Giallo films. Okay, in need of a new model, the agency brings in the sultry blonde Arianna (Paige). She's sultry and does bikinis and undies nicely. Her life is about to change as the director of the agency, Contessa (Jennie Russo), sets her up with dozens of social media obligations, all designed to show her assets and bring in big bucks. Her boyfriend, Jack (Addison Turner), is weird, and a bit moralistic. This causes friction. More models from this agency are also murdered by this masked killer in black, usually with a knife, though one is drowned in a tub...I think Edwige went that way in one of her films.

The killer is now transfixed on Arianna...as are we...so we don't hold it against him...or is it a her? Arianna will continue to make love to the camera and this is fine with us.  The killer gets more and more aroused and keeps pursuing dames attached to the agency. The pretty will die horribly in humiliating fashion, and Arianna seems to be next. Enter a weird cop, Officer Dante (Jeff Kirkendall). Now he emerges as a suspect, as is Jack, the other models, her photographer (Marco Sandoval), and some clients of the agency. Yep, everyone is a suspect.  This film includes all the Giallo tropes and always reverts to gratuitous nude or underwear scenes.

Will Arianna make it to the ends credits without getting skewered or disemboweled?  Will any of the gorgeous models of the Massimo Agency survive?  Just who is this killer that stalks the beautiful? Oh!  I should mention, the wonderful Lynn Lowry has a terrific scene in this film that puts the world of modeling in perspective. The cheese factor is amazing as Miss Paige absolutely gets into her role.  For some fun European fun, without leaving New York state, see "The Girl Who Wore Yellow Lace."  

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