Okay...I get it. A metaphor. I can hear you men, especially you recently divorced or dumped men, now. They always look good. They always purr. They always know just how to touch you. Then! Yep, then! After you commit to them...wham! They change. The lovely fish becomes a maneater. Intent on ruining your manhood, a woman always changes. Well, simmer down. You chose her. Our feature today is a metaphor for the sultry dame who in reality, is something else. Let us look at 2024's "Shark Girl," directed by Justin Shilton and Rob Zazzali.
A mediocre, but very hot, influencer, Heidi (Alexandra Corin Johnston) prances around Venice Beach in alluring swimwear or exercise gear. She's hot. Her boy toy Ron (Ryan Bertroche) is her hunk camera guy. He's mean and not very sensitive. As a nuclear plant melts down a few feet from Venice Beach, and radioactive waste pours into the surf, Ron orders Heidi into the surf for that wet and wild look her followers long to see. In the surf, a radioactive shark bites her...now Heidi turns into a sort of wereshark. Really. Poor Ron. His disrespect for this influencer, who has only 60,000 followers, will no longer be tolerated, She'll eat Ron after eating the hunk Kevin (Patrick Luwis) and the babe Ashley (Elle Chapman). In fact, this film will have a huge death count.
Bad timing, Christopher (Nick Tag), a hunk blogger arrives and kind of likes Heidi. Christopher's blog is reporting on the shark attacks, though its not a shark, around Venice Beach. He tries to get to know Heidi. Also arriving is Heidi's bestie, Sienna (Sumayyah Ameerah)...a marine biology student. Heidi will continue changing by growing rows of razor sharp teeth and eating peeps. She'll eat a fellow model, Gina (Delaney Hogan) as she gives us some gratuitous swimwear poses. Now Sienna and Christopher figure out Heidi is responsible for the shark attacks at Venice Beach and find a way to cure her. Uh oh, because Heidi ate Sienna's brother, Sienna is more interested in revenge than helping Heidi. Uh oh again, Heidi is becoming deadlier and she needs a mate...hence Christopher better be careful.
Will Heidi eat Christopher either metaphorically or literally? Is a hot blonde influencer in skimpy bikinis or tight workout gear worth the mood swings and an occasional nip? Will Sienna find a harpoon and engage in a catfight to the death with the shark girl? This is, what Variety has reported, the film Steven Spielberg wanted to make but Universal would not give him the budget, hence we got Jaws. For a nice shark film that captures the ethos of a woman, see "Shark Girl."
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