The Vineyard, Wine plus Human Blood Equals Eternal Life

A moody Merlot...some aged brie...blessings from a Mayan wind god and a bit of voodoo. That's all we need for achieving eternal life. The quest for eternal life, at least on this side of the grave, usually doesn't go well. Living long doesn't always translate to wisdom, sometimes it is only an opportunity to royally screw things up and make bigger mistakes. In 1989's "The Vineyard," we will meet a man who seems to have attained eternal life...but with some catches.

Dr. Elson Po (James Hong) operates a vineyard on his California island. Uh oh...he's been around for centuries. In his basement (dungeon, actually), he has a lot of beautiful women strung up as he utilizes their blood for a potion that keeps him young. Enter a group of great looking young actors and actresses. Po is also a movie producer and lures the talent to his island under the guise of making a film. In reality, he needs the blood of the beautiful. Wouldn't you know it, a sultry blonde, Jezebel (Karen Lorre), just happens to be the anointed bride-to-be- of the Mayan wind god. After the group arrives, Po wines and dines them, charms them, entertains them, then hits the voodoo and Mayan magic.

 This will be unfortunate for much of the talent. In her underwear, Claudia (Cheryl Lawson) will have spiders crawling out her orifices. Her room mate Celeste (Sherri Ball) will be grabbed and strung up in the dungeon. A couple hunks will either be decapitated or have some acupuncture mishaps. Now Po goes after Jezebel. He puts her in some spell and gets her agree to eternal life. Jezebel doesn't understand that a dagger to the heart will be part of this process. Oh yeah, some magical force is controlling dozens of zombies buried in shallow graves among the grapes. As Jezebel falls deeper and deeper into Po's spell, her surviving friends mount up an offensive. Uh oh, some unseen force secreted within Po's mansion has summoned the zombies.

Even with eternal life, will Jezebel age well, or will Po likely tire of her? What of the beauties strung up in Po's dungeon, and do they have a chance at revenge? Just who...or what...is controlling the zombies and will the undead creatures feast on the surviving talent or on Po and his men? This is a fun one which was directed by Mr. Hong and William Rice. The cast is great looking and not all will fare well, I'm afraid. For some zombie/voodoo/Mayan deity/ red wine fun, see "The Vineyard."