Saturday, November 30, 2019

Voices From Beyond, Maggot Infested Corpse Tells Tales

Nothing goes better than Lucio Fulci and maggot infested corpses...so sweet. So why not a story in which the maggot infested corpse is the protagonist that leads us through a maze of revenge and vengeance? Past his prime, and with his films losing their luster, the 1990s  aren't know as part of the Fulci-Era. Nonetheless, 1991's "Voices From Beyond" is an interesting and appropriately gory mystery with, I think, a neat ending.
Giorgio (Duilio Del Prete) dies. His demise is in a hospital bed as he violently coughs up blood. Uh oh...his ghost follows his corpse. He pleads with doctors, nurses, and coroners to find out how he died. His family is happy he's gone as they were all up to no good. His wife Lucia (Bettina Giovannini), who we see naked a lot, is having a lot of sex with their son Mario (Pascal Persiano). His mistress (Antonella Tinazzo), who we see naked a lot, was humiliated by him. His mom, Hilda (Frances Nacman, who mercifully we do not see naked, is just mean and cantankerous. No one can hear Giorgio's pleas from the other side until his beloved daughter Rosy (Karina Huff) arrives from college. We see Rosy naked a lot, having pre-marital sex or just for the heck of it.
Rosy hears her dad's pleas and begins investigating. Everyone has a motive. Uh oh again, Giorgio's time as a ghost is limited and he will be no more when his body finishes decomposing. Instead of a clock, we see this time elapse as Fulci keeps showing the corpse, with an ever increasing cadre of maggots, inside the coffin. As Rosy snoops she finds deviance and motives and has horrific visions which give her clues. As Giorgio's spirit cries out in increasing desperation, Rosy becomes more bold in her investigation.
If Giorgio finds out who killed him...what will he do then? Can Giorgio see Rosy nude from the other side of the grave? If so, we can understand why he chose his beloved daughter...wait...that's gross! Who did kill Giorgio...and how? This is a Lucio Fulci film so the gore is gratuitous...and this is an Italian horror film, thus the nudity is gratuitous. The plot will contain some icky deviance and you may need a shower after watching "Voices From Beyond."

Thursday, November 28, 2019

The Curse of the Living Corpse, A Deadly Will

What was that famous Roy Scheider movie quote? Let's see...We're gonna need a bigger crypt? Nah...was it...we're gonna need a bigger coffin? Maybe not...perhaps it was...we're gonna need a bigger tomb? Something like that. In a tale of the dead returning and vengeance inflicted on some great looking, but deceitful, family members, we will look at 1964's "The Curse of the Living Corpse," directed by Del Tenney, and starring Roy Scheider.
Rufus Sinclair, an evil rich guy, has finally died and his wife and sons are ecstatic. The old geyser leaves a wealthy estate, but with conditions...of course. The evil fiend, who feared being buried alive, mandated that precautions be made in case he wakes up in his tomb after the funeral. The ungrateful heirs disregard these. Uh oh...the failure of his heirs to adhere to these wishes means he will rise and mete out deaths akin to their greatest fears. Bruce (Robert Mill) the oldest son, steeped in vanity is promised a death that will disfigure his face. Philip (Roy Scheider), the youngest son, is promised a choking death. Abigail (Helen Waren) the widow is promised death by fire...you get the picture.
As Bruce plots securing his inheritance, he takes the nubile and frisky maid, Letty (Linda Donovan) into his dad's tomb for pre-marital sex (I know, a hopeless romantic is he). This won't sit well with Rufus as he be-heads Letty after Bruce departs. When Letty's unattached head shows up on the breakfast platter, the family realizes Rufus may be alive. Uh oh, Philip's sultry and two-timing wife, Vivian (Margot Hartman) has a fling with Bruce and will witness the disfigurement of Bruce's handsome face. Now she knows they are all being hunted. More deaths will occur and it seems apparent that Rufus has indeed returned. Fire, quicksand, and a sword will inflict other-worldly justice on some arrogant and spoiled heirs. As the family dwindles in number, and Vivian disrobes for a gratuitous and perilous bath, Rufus, or his ghost, arrive at the manor-estate for a final attack.
Is the killer really the deceased, or thought to be deceased Rufus, or is there something else going on here? Will the sultry and adulterous Vivian suffer the same fate as the Sinclair clan, even though she is not a direct decedent? Is this film merely a thinly veiled  metaphor for the archaic and over-burdensome inheritance laws that plague those with claims at probate? This is a fun one and the handsome and beautiful will die horribly. For some classic who-done-it and why, enjoy "The Curse of the Living Corpse."

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

Amityville: A New Generation, Artists and Demons

Renaissance Era Italian monk, Jean de Richeleau is famous for saying "Vanity is the pathway to possession." What a better lead in to a film about a mirror spreading demonic possession through a building housing young artists. Okay, I just made all of that up, but we do have a neat one about a mirror that does indeed spread the evils of the Amityville mass murder. Today we delve into 1993's "Amityville: A New Generation." You guys and gals will each be pleased as we have some nice beefcake and cheesecake, though some won't fare terribly well, I'm afraid.
Keyes (Ross Partridge) is a struggling artist, and very unlikable. As is true in real life, the unlikable losers have hot girlfriends, enter Llanie (Lala Sloatman). She adores him and has a lot of pre-marital sex with the loser. Also living in the apartment building is Suki (Julia Nickson), an Asian babe who we like a lot. Richard Roundtree also lives here, but we won't mention him again. Uh oh, a weird homeless man gives Keyes a mirror. Yep, unbeknownst to the loser Keyes, this mirror is from the Amityville House and it saw the famous mass murder. Now the mirror will possess some of the artists, one at a time and lead them to a gruesome demise.
Sadly, Suki takes a liking to the mirror and it makes her a nymphomaniac (yes!!!) deviant artist. She'll paint lots of demons and be tricked into hanging herself. The landlord, Dick (David Naughton) is sad because the possessed Suki just gave him the best sex he will ever have. Okay, as Llanie keeps giving Keyes a lot of pre-marital sex, Keyes begins to find out about his mysterious past. Yep, he is the son of a mass murderer and seems destined to commit mass murder, too...this will put Llanie in much peril. Llanie comes up with a really stupid idea to break Keyes' cursed destiny, but because she is so hot...we excuse her. As the demons seem to take more control of Keyes, Llanie and the other artist tenants, seem to be destined for a similar fate as the previous victims in the Amityville House.
Can Llanie's idea, however stupid, free Keyes from his homicidal destiny? Is there another film idea out there that could better utilize the character of Suki, the Asian-babe, nympho, suicidal hot-mess? If Keyes is saved by the aforementioned stupid idea, will the smoking hot Llanie dump him for someone with earning potential? This is actually a good horror film with a superb cast (acting wise and allure-wise). For some neat possession horror fun and scares, see "Amityville: A New Generation."

Sunday, November 24, 2019

I Eat Your Skin, A Man's Man Fights Zombies

He is what we all wish we were. He's a hunk...in the true sense of the word. He seduces bikini babes on a full time basis, caressing them with his tales of carnal passion. His hands are all over these nubile babes and they practically throw their almost naked bodies at him. They giggle and coo as his hands slip up their garments and eagerly await his lips on their lips. Aren't we fortunate this type is no longer with us. Women must be cheering that the 2019 version of a hunk wears pink dress shirts, primps with hair gel, adorns with cuff-links and maybe an earring...and most of all, isn't afraid to cry. Boy, have we come a long way...no wonder women are waiting longer to get married. Hence 1971's "I Eat Your Skin."
Novelist Tom Harris (William Joyce) woos bikini babes and sexually molests them by a swimming pool at a Miami hotel. The babes love it...how backwards they are! As his hands caress their bodies and as his lips meet theirs, he is interrupted by his publisher, Duncan (Dan Stapleton). Duncan then brings Tom to a Caribbean island where a mad scientist is working to create a cure for cancer. Cures for cancer always have side effects and in this case, the side effects make natives into bug-eyed zombies. He reaches the island and meets a sultry skinny dipper, Jeannine (Heather Hewitt). This babe...er, woman, I mean...is the mad-scientists daughter and is being stalked by these zombies. Tom will save her and the two will fall in love.
Tom determines that Jeanine needs to be rescued and immediately has pre-marital sex with her. As the natives get restless for a babe to sacrifice (I guess they don't need a virgin), they make a move for the nubile, often naked Jeannine. Snakes, goat blood, and machetes are readied and voodoo schmucks begin banging drums and dancing as Tom leads an escape party to flee the island. Too late, the voodoo hordes and zombies get Jeanine, prep her, and now Tom must lead a rescue party.
Will hunk Tom be able to save the often nude skinny-dipping Jeannine? What is Jeannine's mad scientist dad's relationship to the voodoo tribes and bug-eyed zombies? Are we better off that hunks like Tom have been eliminated from the gene pool in 2019 western civilization? As current studies find that women are finding it harder and harder to meet guys...perhaps a viewing of "I Eat Your Skin" may shed some light as to the reasons why. Directed by Del Tenney, "I Eat Your Skin" is a great reminder of how great this country once was.

Friday, November 22, 2019

Plaguers, Space-Babes vs. Space-Zombies

There exists a small number of perfect plot lines. Here's one: Four sultry space pirates, dressed in stewardess outfits which include silver go-go boots, hijack another spaceship, which also has space-babes, and end up in a war against mutant space-zombies. Yes! Do you really need to know anymore? There will be a ravishing nympho-psycho pirate into torture, a Rhona Mitra look-a-like pirate, and a nubile blonde space captain bent on saving her ship from the evil babes and the evil zombies. Hence 2008's "Plaguers."
The aforementioned nubile blonde, Holloway (Alexis Zibolis), has taken over as captain after the death of her fiance captain (don't worry, he'll emerge later). She's inexperienced and when a distress signal comes in from the USS Diana, she bites. Babes radio Holloway's ship begging for help. Holloway docks with the ship...mistake! Oh yes, Holloway's ship is transporting an unknown energy source, a green glowing orb. Another big mistake. The four dames are rescued and feign a sob story of violation and mayhem. Kyra (Noelle Perris...the Rhona Mitra look-a-like) heads the stewardess-pirates and soon they rise-up. First they tie up beautiful ship medic Landon (Maija Polsley)...this is unfortunate as this beauty is about to become anything but beautiful.
The four pirates cage the crew and the orb begins infecting babes. Sadie (Paige La Pierre) is eager to carve up the crew...and to have pre-marital sex with them. Uh oh, as the orb pulsates, Nola (Stephanie Skewes), clad in her stewardess outfit and silver boots, is surprised by a crew member and pushed into the orb. Nola will emerge a grotesque zombie, impervious to bullets. She infects some more and when pretty medic Landon is infected, the zombie population increases. Now the crew survivors must unite with Kyra's pirate-stewardesses in order to isolate the zombies (this won't work), and fight off their increasing numbers. The gals have one trick up their sleeves (or inside their go-go boots), Steve Railsback! He plays an android, immune to zombie bites. This might not be enough as Kyra and her diminishing gang never play fair...even when zombies attack.
Yes, you guessed it...there will be a great cat-fight between Kyra and Holloway. Will Kyra and Holloway be able to put their differences aside and work to defeat the space-zombies? Will nympho-psycho Sadie leave anyone alive to have pre-marital sex with? Just what is this orb and why is it on Holloway's ship? There will be some gratuitous gore, gratuitous cat-fights, and fanged zombies oozing black gunky slime out of their mouths. Do you really need anything more in a movie. "Plaguers" is as close to horror/exploitation perfection as you will find. Written and directed by Brad Sykes, "Plaguers" will satisfy you on so many levels.

Thursday, November 21, 2019

Literature Review: Duality by Nasser Rabadi

Some of you are so blessed to have a best friend...a super best friend. The two of you know each other better than your siblings know you. Your relationship transcends experience and appears to sync your thoughts and feelings. When one hurts, the other does, as well. Hyper sisters, perhaps...or uber soul-mates. Beware...we all have secrets. What you don't know about your other half, your soul-mate...or your hyper sister, if you wish...could kill you. Hence Nasser Rabadi's Duality.
Yep, Rose and Valerie are close. They could pass as twin sisters. Whatever physical difference they may have is more than made up for in their mental attachment. They're not sisters in the literal sense, but figuratively, they are closer than sisters...or so it appears. As the two matriculate through high school, they realize the town they are living in appears cursed. As boys enter their lives and a sense of friskiness overtakes their judgment and confidence about their relationship. This won't go well as Valerie asks Rose for, what appears to be, a simple and playful favor. Horror follows. The evil that will seep into the pages of Duality will be bloody and shocking. Though this story is in book form, you will turn your eyes as if the story is being played out on the silver screen.
Malignant forces rip our would be twins apart and Rose is left to deal with real life and the consequences. Where is Valerie? Great question...read this book to find out. Rose is now alone and in a complicated and mysterious quandary. Whether she is able to steer through danger and doom depends on finding out exactly who her so-called soul-mate was/is. Yep...what do we really know about our spouses, children, besties...even ourselves? What we don't know can be more important and now Rose's ability to put pieces together to solve the puzzle that is Valerie may be the only hope in ending the bloodshed, gore, and deviance that has overtaken her life and the town she lives in.
Duality is a horrific novel and as the final reveal approaches, the horror intensifies. We're so charmed by Rose and Valerie's friendship that we care for these two characters more than anything. As danger rolls in, as does murder and bloody misogyny...we gasp and plead with the author to spare them. Mr. Rabadi has put together a horror story that will tug at our hearts and eventually threaten to rip out those same hearts. For a fast-paced story of intense friendship, intense evil, and bloody carnage...read Duality.
To order Duality on Amazon, click here Duality on Amazon

Wednesday, November 20, 2019

Body Count, Friday the 13th Italian Style

What happens when the Italians try to rip-off "Friday the 13th"? Right...pure poetry. Naked nubile babes, hunks dying to try to save them, and a slasher with a machete...yes! Throw in some booby-traps, a chainsaw, and gratuitous shower scenes and the dubbing won't bother you. Italy is similar to Camp Crystal Lake...pre-marital sex will get you killed...morality films Italian style! Hence 1986's "Body Count," directed by Ruggero Deodato.
As our fable begins a high school hunk (Stefano Galantucci) and babe (Clelia Fradell) are butchered by a monster shaman in a cursed campground after having pre-marital sex. 15 years later some really great looking hunks and babes arrive at the cursed campground for dirt-biking and pre-marital sex. The women will take showers and the guys will grunt a lot. Uh oh, Ben (Nicola Farron) arrives after getting out of the army. His parents Robert (David Hess) and Julia (Mimsy Farmer) run the campground. Oh yes, the frisky Julia is having an affair with the sheriff (Charles Napier). As the teens frolic and copulate, aerobic babe Tracy (Nancy Brilli) and Tony (Stefano Madia) are butchered...too bad as Tracy looked terrific in and out of some fine 1980s aerobic leotards.
As babes and hunks fall, we are left to wonder if the shaman is really the culprit, or maybe its Julia or Robert...who will display some anti-social behavior. Primo babe Cissy (Cynthia Thompson) will frolic some more, strip, and be chased by the fiend. Oh yes Carol (Luisa Maneri) appears a likely final girl, even after a gratuitous shower scene. As the fiend closes in on the last beautiful and handsome survivors, a surprising final reveal approaches. There will be knives and axes to the head and shotgun carnage befitting Italian opera...I mean horror.
Are naked Cissy and Carol too beautiful to die? Oh yes, I forgot, this is an Italian film. Is the evil shaman really the culprit, or are Robert and Julia into unorthodox marketing strategies for their cursed campgrounds? Will Cissy and Carol engage in a gratuitous cat-fight to decide who will be crowned the final girl? Gratuitous with gore and nudity, "Body Count" is a slasher film rip-off that should be well received. After all, would you rather see "Friday the 13th" ripped off, or "Ordinary People" ripped off?

Monday, November 18, 2019

Shark Exorcist, Satanic Shark Eats Bikini Babes

Gratuitous shots of babes in bikinis sunbathing and frolicking in the surf that would make a peeping Tom drool might be the staple of 2015's "Shark Exorcist." Hey...that's okay! Hot tubs, beaches, lakes, amusement parks...it doesn't matter where the setting is, this movie is going to give us bikini babes in gratuitous and elongated bikini shots. Bikini babes with lesbian tendencies in the surf, in the pool, and some nice gratuitous cat-fighting...all with a possession motif. Can you believe IMDB gave this cinematic achievement only 1.4 stars out of 10...prudes!!!
Plot...okay fine, if you must have one...Sister Blair (Christy Moritz) has kidnapped, tortured, and murdered 13 children as our story begins...she is wanted. She guts a babe who recognizes her and as she throws her corpse into the lake she asks Satan to send her an avenger. Enter a great white shark with glowing yellow eyes. The shark will eat the good Sister's victims. Enter three sultry bikini babes, Lauren (Madison Carney), Ali (Angela Kerecz), and Emily (Channing Dodson). They go to the lake to do gratuitous things in their string bikini and Ali gets bitten by the Satanic shark.
Now Ali is having weird dreams and desiring to be around water. Ali tries to seduce a couple of bikini babes but ends up murdering them. A few sultry sorority sisters enter the plot and give us some nice bikini action until the shark comes a-calling. Meanwhile, Ali puts her sights on her former buddy Lauren, who has stolen her boyfriend. As Ali rips the boyfriend's throat out, Father Michael (Bobby Kerecz) captures her and does the lamest exorcism you have ever seen...it won't work of course. Now the nubile Emily and Lauren are in mortal danger as more sultry bikini babes doing gratuitous stuff get gutted...and Sister Blair is still on the loose.
Will any bikini babe survive either the shark, Ali, or Sister Blair? What will be the fate of the really stupid Father Michael after his exorcism fails? When the bikini babes are all eaten, will the shark go after cheerleaders or stewardesses? This is a gritty, serious horror story that could happen in each of our communities. If you are a fan of gratuitous and elongated shots of women doing gratuitous things in bikinis...well, this is your film. Ignore the  IMDB elites and catch "Shark Exorcism" (Directed by Donald Farmer).

Sunday, November 17, 2019

In Utero, Offspring in Peril

Naked, vulnerable, and preyed upon. Stalwarts of the Old Testament knew their devotion and obedience to 'The Word of God" was necessary for their own salvation as well as that of their offspring and grandchildren. As history progressed through the ages, religious denominations were set up to provide order and structure for this worship. Humans are fallen beings and our creations, though well meaning, set up rote practices and ritualistic sacraments, and true relationships to God were not prioritized. Man's laziness and desire for utility influenced our denominations as it is easier for us to follow orders and obey a set number of rules than to cleanse ourselves spiritually and prepare for divine instruction direct from God's mouth. Hence 2019's "In Utero," a David Teixeira film that combines "Mater" and "Ouroboros."
She's a modern woman, played wonderfully by Lea N'Kaoua, who is naked and vulnerable in rural France. Left this way by the neglect of her ancestors. This neglect separated generations from God and now our French woman is vulnerable to false deities. Her perceived independence may have shielded her from domineering men and a patriarchal society, but has also steered her away from an intimate relationship with a God that could provide her eternal salvation. Ms. N'Kaoua's beautiful woman did not have the Old Testament luxury of the prayers and guardianship of devout ancestors. Now she is of age, and evil deity-wannabes are ready to move in, just like they did to her ancestor in "Mater."
She will be pursued by something horrific. The burning and deprivation of Hell is characterized for us in many artistic metaphor, but we're told that true Hell is merely the separation from God. Our nubile babe has that separation and the horror has manifested itself. The terrible rape of her ancestor has created a timeless demon who is very greedy. The monstrous force has transcended generations and is now hunting beauty and youth (beauty and youth apart from God). In a setting of ruins (our selfish and materialistic world?), the beauty is hounded, hunted, and pursued by a mystical collector bent on more vicious rape and ruination.
Mr. Teixeira's film is horrific as we see the hunt close up. Watching a beautiful young woman speedily heading to a scandalous and humiliating fate is difficult. We may yell out, "No...please...she's good!" To be good in God's eyes varies from what we humans consider "good," and perhaps our true horror at "In Utero" is the realization that the nubile beauty is going through a fate which endangers all of us. Sure, hang on to your rites and rituals...but beware, if those acts don't seek to bring you closer to God, well...your denominational adherence may lead you to a fate of being ravaged by carnal evils and eternal torture. For a horror that indeed may be awaiting you, take in David Teixeira's "In Utero" (a 24 minute short horror film).
To see In Utero on Amazon, click this link View In Utero here

Saturday, November 16, 2019

Kraa! The Sea Monster, Sea Monster, Space-Babes, Space-Hunks...

We have a good one from Full Moon Entertainment today. In addition to a rubber-suited sea monster, we have some teeny-bopper space-babes and space-hunks (Justin Bieber and Ariana Grande fans will adore them). More importantly, for those of us fed up with CGI, this film will be a nice elixir. So as miniature models of cities and power-lines are destroyed by a laser breathing behemoth, we can down an Old Milwaukee and just say, "Niiiiiiiiiice!"
Lord Doom (Michael Guerin)...think a low-budget Darth Vader...wants Earth as his new playroom. To do this he needs to wipe out the population, so he sends a sea monster, Kraa, to destroy everyone. The Planetary Space Patrol is onto him and hunk Monroe (Robert J. Ferrelli) commands two babes, Curtis (Alison Lohman) and Able (Candida Tolentino). These beauties look more like a college dance-team than protectors of the universe...oh yeah, Curtis has psychic powers. Anyway, Kraa begins his rampage and Lord Doom seriously damages the space-patrol ship putting our beauties in mortal danger.
Before being disabled the space patrol sends one of their agents, Mogyar (J.W. Perra)...think E.T....to Earth to kill Kraa. Mogyar will enlist the help of biker Bobby (R.L. McMurry) and diner owner Alma (Teal Merchande). These three will have to outmaneuver a bunch of government spooks in order to formulate a strategy to stop Kraa's path of carnage and kill it. As the beauties in the space patrol desperately try to fix their ship and join the fight, Lord Doom prepares his invasion. Our under-armed trio races to enact a long-shot plan and the nubile Curtis begins to use her psychic powers in order to slow Kraa.
Will the very good looking space-patrol save Earth and then come to Disney World to compete in a dance-team competition? Will the little E.T. be able to outsmart and defeat the Godzilla rip-off? Will Lord Doom be able to capture either Curtis or Able and turn this into a Roger Corman exploitation-fest? This is a fun one, as we expect from Full Moon. Directed by Aaron Osborne and Dave Parker, "Kraa! The Sea Monster" is a must see for big-monster movie fans.

Thursday, November 14, 2019

Alien Predator, Skylab, Figure Skating, and Toothy Aliens

We've all had the argument before.  You want to watch a bloody horror movie and your spouse wants to watch figure skating.  Yep, last time the horror film won out and fairness dictates that figure skating will grace the TV this evening. Poppycock! Fairness is for losers! I think I got that from a John Maxwell book. Here is the compromise. 1985's "Alien Predator" is a bloody alien invasion flick starring professional figure skater (Bond girl and the star of "Ice Castles") and skater for The Ice Capades, Lynn-Holly Johnson.
Skylab crashes into Spain (in reality it crashed into Australia). A mad-scientist's experiments get loose. Five years later two nerds, Damon (Dennis Christopher) and Michael (Martin Hewitts) are taking an RV through Spain with Sam (Johnson). Meanwhile Dr. Tracer (Luis Prendes) is sent by NASA as his experiments have taken over animals and people with deadly results. NASA's secret lab has been overrun by the alien experiment. Meanwhile, our two nerds seek pre-marital sex with Sam, but Sam merely wants a good time. As every person and animal is taken over by this alien the results are bloody.  The alien incubates in the life-form and after two days explodes out of their face,
As the alien goes through Spaniards like crap through a goose, Dr. Tracer teams up with our three tourists.  As possessed people now try to kill these three, our team must re-enter the NASA lab, fend off angry aliens, capture a canister which could contain the cure, and resume the competition of who gets to have pre-marital sex with the sultry skater.
Will Sam reject her two nerd friends in favor of a tall, dark Spaniard?  Are there any Spaniards left? Will Ms. Johnson have an opportunity for a figure-skating solo in the midst of an alien invasion? The alien is toothy and vicious and the possessed Spaniards are menacing.  Mr. Prendes does well as the mad-scientist, as well.  For another example of how NASA has strayed from it's mission of capturing our imagination with space breakthroughs, see "Alien Predator."

Tuesday, November 12, 2019

Decadent Evil II, Vampires and Strippers

Strippers? Okay, sorry...exotic dancers. Throw in a lot of str...eh...I mean exotic dancers and then a lot of vampires...and then some vampires who just happen to be exotic dancers, and then you have a Full Moon feature from Charles Band. Yep, the very gratuitous "Decadent Evil II" (see my review of  Decadent Evil ). Like its predecessor, "Decadent Evil 2" is fun and gratuitous as far as cheesecake goes. So if your bride-to-be has you on a short leash and, and won't let you out of your house the night before the wedding, you'll do well by watching this film instead.
Babe vampire Sugar (Jill Michelle) and her human BF Dex (Daniel Lennox) are on the trail of the new vampire clan leader. They travel with mini-mutant-vampire Marvin, who is locked in a cage. They also travel with a large ice chest containing the corpse of their friend, and vampire hunter, Ivan (Ricardo Gil). Some occult tools lead them to Little Rock and a tidy "gentleman's club" (strip joint). There they must find the clan leader, take some of his blood, and use that blood to revive Ivan...then kill the clan leader.
At this point we get a lot of gratuitous...exotic dancing. The main feature is Lena (Jessica Morris), who is quite the...exotic dancer. But is she human or vampire? Dex gets a job tending bar at this club and Sugar gets a job as...that's right, an exotic dancer. Her and Lena become semi-friends but we can smell a cat-fight brewing, and it smells better than garlic. As Sugar gets closer to the truth and Dex revives Ivan (no longer human), the vampires counter and put Sugar, the human dancers, and a very alluring lingerie shop sales girl in much peril. The nudity and spurting blood will be plentiful as the pretty will die horribly.
Is the nubile Sugar and her hunk BF capable of taking down the vampire clan leader? Could Lena be the clan leader, thereby setting up an ultimate cat-fight that includes kinky lingerie? Are lingerie clad babes, covered in spurting blood as their garments are ripped off, too gratuitous a plot device even for this blog? Okay, probably not. For some prurient fun, see "Decadent Evil II," one of the best sequels ever made.

Sunday, November 10, 2019

The One Survivor of Conifer, The Apocalyptic Man

Nuclear war? A biological disaster? Mother Nature's vengeance? Something happened and what exactly isn't the important question. In a metaphoric sense this may be an important film about loneliness, desperation, and loss. In a literal sense, well, we will be looking for a cause, perhaps a creature oozing purple goo, and a means to end the loneliness. Today we look at Curt Dennis' "The One Survivor of Conifer."
The setting greets us, Conifer after the apocalypse. A ghost town with rubbish and remnants strewn over the landscape. Not a creature is stirring, except Austin Biggs (Johnny Maya)...and maybe a creature. Everyone is gone and Ausitn is doing a yeoman's job at keeping order. There is order, rules, and an imaginary friend in the form of a Teddy bear. Uh oh, the food is running out...and so is the drinking water. At first, Austin's imagination is his friend, keeping him stimulated, and helping him remember some benign parts of the former society.  His instinct for survival and companionship motivate him to build a radio and try to communicate...but there is no one.
Wait! A voice! Someone's there! Luke (Jonah Paull) answers. He's an eight year old boy and his parents have left and not come back. Luke is afraid and alone and Austin relishes being his 'rock' even though the two will never meet. The friendship they build is touching and sad as we the viewer understand Austin may be incapable of rescuing Luke. Uh oh, just like Austin's plight, Luke appears to have some sort of monster lurking nearby. Purple ooze seems to be developing, or drooled, by something and what it means, or where it comes from can't be good. As madness and paranoia invade Austin's psyche, both him and Luke's plight get more perilous. Are the two survivors merely keeping each other company as their terms of survival come to a hideous end, or is there hope?
The increasing madness of Austin make us ask if he is actually communicating with a youngster, or is it all in his mind? How about the purple stuff...what is it? Are Austin and Luke being spied on, or hunted, or falling prey to their own minds? The performances are terrific and Curt Dennis does a fine job in keeping this apocalyptic human study fast-paced and edgy. For a low-budget masterpiece of a character study, see "The One Survivor of Conifer."
Find out more about this film of IMDB One Survivor on IMDB
See more about this film on Instagram One Survivor on Instagram
Also check Facebook One Survivor on Facebook

Friday, November 8, 2019

Brain of Blood, The Perils of Immortality

To live forever! Sound good? Rutger Hauer wanted it in "Blade Runner." Dracula desired it. Even Hitler strove for it, at least in many neat movies. Think about it. Do we really want the Hitlers', or the Draculas', or even moralistic robots to be with us forever? I know we're all raised to be polite, but think of many of your deceased relatives...do you really wish they could be with us forever?  How about the Ayatollah Khomeini? Did we really want him around with us forever? Hence 1971's "Brain of Blood," an Al Adamson epic.
Amir (Reed Hadley) rules a mid-eastern country called Khalid. He's about to die and that would be a shame because he is so loved and revered that his country would be sad if he died. Hence a plot is hatched so Amir will live forever (yeah, this will work out nicely). Enter the babe Tracy (Regina Carrol) and his doctor, Bob (Grant Williams). They have arranged it that upon his death he will be flown to the U.S. and the laboratory of mad-scientist Dr. Trenton (Kent Taylor). Trenton will remove his brain and transplant it into another body. The other body? Details...why worry about details! He dies...and is delivered to Trenton's lab. Trenton removes his brain. Uh oh...a body is needed. The idiot ghoul Gor (John Bloom), with his brawn and  hideous face, is charged with this job...he fails. Unfortunately for Gor...well, you guessed it...his hulking and ugly body will be the new home for Amir.
Oh yeah, Dorro (Angelo Rossitto), an insane dwarf and Trenton aide has a collection of babes chained up in the downstairs dungeon. I know...who doesn't? Blood for the operation is supplied by these babes in bondage, but the sultry Katherine (Vicki Volante) escapes. Bad news for Amir's delegation, they don't fit into Trenton's plans for world domination and he has them rubbed out. Amir wakes in the body of the hideous Gor...now he's half statesman and half half-wit. Meanwhile, Katherine is able to join forces with Amir's original doctor, Bob. The two fall in love, and discover Trenton's plan. As the new Amir, or Gor, plays with toys and spouts pacifist salutations, Trenton plots world domination.
Just how does Trenton plan to use the half-wit/pacifist to help him rule the planet?  Can the two lovebirds, Katherine and Bob, stop him before Trenton and Gor/Amir return to the throne in Khalid? Given the geniuses that rule countries in the middle-east today (I guess we can throw Europe in there, too...or for that matter....stop! No politics here today)? Will the sultry Regina Carrol be the love interest or delegated to a damsel in distress to the statesman/half-wit? Perhaps that last question is a pertinent one for any single women in modern society. For some schlock and scary fun, see "Brain of Blood."

Wednesday, November 6, 2019

Necromancer, Demon Revenge

Where does a gal go for some vicious revenge? Guys acting like guys? Maybe taking more liberties than they should? Just call (213) REVENGE. No, really. Call that number and be hooked up with a demon from Hell, just waiting to castrate those guys who behaved like pigs. Hence 1988's "Necromancer," directed by Dusty Nelson.
Julie (Elizabeth Kaitan) is a sweet girl, an acting major in college. Okay, she looks sweet but is all about pre-marital sex with either her professor (Russ Tamblyn) or her BF Erik (John Tyler), but we'll go with sweet. One day she is viciously raped by Paul (Stan Hurwitz), Carl (Edward A. Wright), and Allan (Shawn Eisner). These jocks are well connected at the university and Julie is afraid to go to the police. An ad on the bulletin board in the student union seeks those wanting revenge (just call the aforementioned number). Julie does and goes to see Lisa the Necromancer. For $20, the Necromancer conjures up a revenge spell from Hell...in a very colorful scene.
Okay, here's the deal, unbeknownst to Julie, a demon Julie dressed like a seductress appears to her tormentors. It strips and begins sexually servicing them before castrating and killing them. The real Julie sees all this through supposed nightmares. The Necromancer is having so much fun that it doesn't stop at rapists. This won't bode well for the frisky professor. Now Julie is terrified, realizing she really never wanted anyone to be murdered...too late...the Necromancer is out of control. Now the clean-cut (okay, maybe not so clean-cut) Julie must battle her evil demon and we can all get ready for a vicious and alluring cat-fight.
Will Eric the BF tick off Julie, thereby making him Necromancer bait? If Harvey Weinstein had seen this movie, would there be a need for the now defunct #MeToo movement? If the sort of clean-cut Julie prevails and defeats the demon Julie, will her proclivity for pre-marital sex increase or decrease? "Necromancer" is fine 1980s horror and Elizabeth Kaiton plays to the camera very well. For you ladies there will be some gratuitous beefcake, and for you guys, the demon Lisa sheds her garments very fast. Enjoy "Necromancer," a twisted morality tale.

Monday, November 4, 2019

Island of the Dead, Flies and Maggots, oh my!

I admit, this isn't a great movie...at least on the surface. However, a deep exploration into the swamp that is 2000's "Island of the Dead" turns up some shining gems that every fan of this blog should enjoy. I speak of Malcolm McDowell and Bond girl Talisa Soto. The two can ooze appeal and allure that can turn any flawed plot into a must-see period piece. Directed by Tim Southam, "Island of the Dead" may be your first introduction to the eeriest plot of ground in this country...or on Earth.
Yep, its a real place...Hart Island. This Long Island Sound piece of real estate, just a few miles from Manhattan, serve's as New York City's Potter's Field. Over a million New Yorkers' are buried there...prisoners of war (Civil War), drug addicts, unclaimed babies, the homeless, and the destitute and insane. It used to house an insane asylum and a disease colony (lepers and typhoid, etc.). Now developer Rupert King (McDowell), with the mayor's blessing want's to build a low-cost housing high rise there. Also, haunted and grouchy NYPD detective Melissa O'Keefe (Soto) heads there to try to ID a missing little girl. As they arrive at this creepy island, King and the mayor break ground for a new city of "hope" and Melissa identifies the corpse of a little girl.
Uh oh...the dead don't want to be disturbed. Boat loads of maggots appear everywhere and swarms of flies start attacking...one poor schmuck at a time. The swarms actually bite and the victims swell up and boils and then maggots explode out of their chests. So cool! We are let in on a limited backstory of Melissa and understand her grouchiness and dedication. King, on the other hand, is all greed and has an ultimate plan of housing the homeless and destitute on the island...and then use them for human experimentation. The swarms come and go and pick off the peeps stuck on the island. As the sultry Melissa shows bravery and honor, we wonder if she will survive the maggot attack.
Will that sultry NYPD detective survive the swarm and somehow shed the torment of her haunting past? Will the developer/mad-scientist wannabe King get what he deserves? Don't you now want to head to NYC and find some way to visit Hart Island? I know I do. For a neat and hidden piece of New York history, see "Island of the Dead," and maybe think up a few maggot recipes...okay, I admit...that's gross.

Saturday, November 2, 2019

Subterano, Virtual Reality Carnage

Virtual Reality. No one plays board games anymore. That's too bad. What happens when Virtual Reality becomes more real than virtual. Right! Decapitations, severed limbs, charred humans, and overall gore and mayhem. Hence 2003's "Subterano," directed by Esben Storm. This one is from Australia and has a great looking cast which will impress both guys and gals.
 Okay, let us be short on a very important backstory. Hunk Conrad (Alex Dimitriades) and babe Grace (Tasma Walton) are the only two survivors of the government sanctioned stadium massacre. They fall in love, and then become rebels and join The Orphans of the Revolution. Here's where it gets ambiguous...Conrad is captured and is sent for execution. He finds out Grace turned on him and is now a traitor to the revolution. Conrad is accused of murdering dozens and he escapes. He bumps into Grace and now there is much tension for the ex-lovers. The Kate Beckinsale look-a-like Grace isn't into explaining and now the two end up in a parking garage.
Uh oh, a virtual reality game is being tested by an unknown fiend. The VR robots are real and they seek to kill all humans. A cop-wannabe JD (Alison Whyte) is also trapped, and she won't be much of a help. Now four teens, used to the standard VR games are also trapped. The robots act fast and immediately kill a couple of the gamers sending the rest into the lower levels. Each level, the game gets tougher (more deadly). Limbs will fly, humans will be cooked, and eyes will be shot out. As the humans dwindle in number we find out some fascinating details about Grace's betrayal of Conrad. Now an idealistic teen, Angie (Kate Sherman), inspires the survivors to fight back. Angie will act as the catalyst for our aforementioned hunk and babe to maybe get back together. They do a fine job and whoever is controlling the homicidal robots begins to take this contest personally.
Did Grace really betray Conrad, and why won't she offer him an explanation? Will babe Angie or babe Grace be the victim of the "There Can Only Be One Babe Left Maxim," as is so prevalent in these gore-fests?  Will Grace be able to seduce the VR fiend that is hunting all the humans? Actually, she will try and she will, at least, seduce us guys. For some terrific action, gore, beefcake and cheesecake, enjoy "Subterano."