Hydra, Five Headed Death

That thing from the Godzilla film had three heads...wuss! You know what they say, five heads are better than three...especially when the heads are quite toothy. Throw in the Sword of Hercules and the Chamber of Zeus, and we have today's feature, 2009's "Hydra." Oh so much here...sadly we will have to leave much out including the horrible death of a sultry bikini babe (Jana Williams) at the hands (or teeth) of the aforementioned heads.

Okay, as our story begins an archaeological expedition is looking for the aforementioned treasures. They'll be eaten by a three headed monster...except for Valerie (Polly Shannon)...who escapes and hides in a cave. Did I say three heads? Yep...see, if you blow off one of its heads, two grow back. Vincent (Alex McArthur), the rich husband of the ill-fated bikini babe, assembles four billionaires. These rich-folk will be dropped off on an uncharted island and hunt...humans. The four schmuck humans who will be hunted have been kidnapped. No spoilers here, but their abductions and selections were not random. Most notable abductees are the sultry Gwen (Dawn Olivieri) and Special Forces hunk Tim (George Stults)...they'll fall in love...so sweet.

Now everyone is dropped on the island ignorant of the fact that the monster Hydra is hungry and ticked off. The beast begins its attacks as the hunters begin the hunt. Oh yeah...remember Valerie...she's back and pretty loony now. Tim doesn't like being hunted and assembles his schmuck mates to begin hunting the hunters. Gwen is almost raped by one of the schmucks. As Gwen and Tim fall in love, and as hunters and schmucks are ripped apart and eaten, and as the loony Valerie traipses through this god-forsaken island...the writers of this film desperately search for a plot device for the gratuitous and bloody death of the aforementioned bikini-babe (who isn't even on the island), which they will find.

Will the Hydra eat the loony Valerie and sultry Gwen...thereby dieting on a trifecta of babes? Will the very capable hunk Tim be able to save the beautiful and nubile? Will any of the well armed hunters be able to mount an offense on this mythological beast? This is a fun and ambitious one and fans of Syfy Channel films will love "Hydra," directed by Andrew Prendergast.