Flight to Hell, Alien, The Thing, and Pretty Stewardesses

From Italy, we have a wild one. A combination of "Alien," "John Carpenter's The Thing," and "Coffee, Tea, or Me" graces this blog today. I told a good buddy I needed a film with pretty stewardesses in much peril...and he found one for me, 2003's "Flight to Hell." Two sultry stewardesses with slightly tight short skirts, ornate scarfs, and high heels will be put in much peril as alien creatures try to penetrate all of their orifices. Will they survive? Oh yes...there are other characters...which we'll get to.

Roulette One Airlines operates a gambling flight. At 30,000 feet, pampered passengers, decked to the hilt with tuxedos and slinky evening gowns, engage in games of chance and sexual intercourse. Fawned over by two stewardesses, Carol (Sinne Mutsaers) who acts as a blackjack dealer, and Janet (Basia Wajs) who acts as a nymphomaniac waitress, the passengers are about to be hunted down by alien creatures that have come aboard the plane. As Janet enjoys rough sex in the galley (to Janet, "Hands off the merchandise" actually means "Ravage me you brute!") and Carol deals out hands, Don (Eric Bassanesi) pilots the plane with his pretty co-pilot Pat (Giulia Bernardini). The little buggers proceed to up their way into orifices of passengers and crew and explode out of them.

As the crew figures out they are under attack, poor Janet will have a slimy alien go up her...well...you know...her woman tunnel, travel through her, and come out her mouth. Whether the death was satisfying to Janet is not an important question. As alien eggs hatch in the cargo hold, and the queen alien grows, the women seem to be in much peril, and not all will fare well. Aliens will explode out of eyes and heads, and the nubile Carol will have to man up in her alluring stewardess uniform if anyone will survive this flight. Together with pilot Don, this duo is the casino flight's only chance for a safe landing.

Is a sultry stewardess the warmest place to hide at 30,000 feet? Can anyone hear an invaded and penetrated stewardess scream in the jet stream? Would this film have any merit if the flight attendants were accurately portrayed and looked like a modern day American cabin crew? Exploitation all the way, "Flight to Hell" is fun to watch and heavy on the cheesecake and gore. Directed by Alvaro Passeri, catch this Italian horror film and bring yourself back to a day when stewardesses were sultry and not a diverse group of flight attendants.