Centipede!, Big Bugs in India

A foolish hunk yells, "Will someone please tell me what we're running from?" A slightly less idiotic hunk yells back, "A big slimy creature, okay!" Ingredients of a perfect B movie. Shot in Hyderabad, India (I've been there), 2004's "Centipede!". When I was in Hyderabad, giant centipedes exploded out of sewers and caves and ate dozens of citizens each day (EMBELLISHMENT). When the privileged descend miles under the earth for thrills, the monsters drool with anticipation.

A bachelor party! No, not in a strip club. Jake (Trevor Murphy), as best man, arranges for an ultra-rich David (Larry Casey) to join his old gang in India for some spelunking. Brilliant! What could go wrong. The crew convenes at the airport in Hyderabad and to David's surprise, Lara Croft wannabe, Sara (Margaret Cash), joins them. She and David were a passionate item before David dumped her for some rich socialite. Also joining them  are more hunks, a nerd or two, and the sultry and playful Zoe (Danielle Kirlin). She is listed sixth in the credits which means she will suffer the most gory death of anyone in the cast.

Just prior to this, a babe Indian scientist and a hunk Indian scientist descended to look for toxic dumping. Instead of looking for toxic waste, they engage in pre-marital sex...and are eaten by a huge centipede. So sad. The same centipede, maybe 20 feet in length, starts eating the hunks. It shoots venom that burns. Zoe? Her fate, though off camera, seems to be reminiscent of Taaffe O'Connell's in "Galaxy of Terror." Uh oh, David lusts for Sarah again, as Sarah sweats a lot and strips down to some flattering bike shorts and a sports bra. Sarah has a new boyfriend, Dirk (George Foster), but veteran horror film viewers know what his fate will be. As the centipede becomes two after Dirk attacks it with a stalactite (don't ask), our crew desperately tries to make it to the surface. The deaths will be slimy and tortuous, but the real question is whether the big bugger will help David get Sarah back?

Will the sweaty Sarah and opportunistic and wealthy David be able to swap spit above the surface again? If Roger Corman had made this film would we have seen Zoe stripped, slimed, and impregnated by the amorous insect? Is the 100 leg centipede a metaphor for the dangers of the hundreds of different cultures in India pitted against each other in the country's caste system? Perhaps the best film ever made in India, "Centipede!" is a lot of fun and creature f/x are neat. As the bugs in your garden and home get bigger as the summer heats up, consider this film a warning of our inevitable fate if the bugs decide to fight back.