Saturday, January 13, 2018

My Bloody Valentine 3D, Pick Axe Carnage

"My Bloody Valentine" hit the silver screen in 1981 and is known as one of the best slasher films ever made. Beautiful dames, including the sultry Cynthia Dale in her red party dress, and their hunk beaus were ripped apart by a pick axe wielding maniac.  Every teen who was shafted by Valentine's Day found some sort of satisfaction with this flick. Then in 2009, this classic was remade.  Could a slasher classic be remade? Instead of Moosehead Beer and dying Canadians, the new one offers a modern day hunk (Jensen Ackles) and one of the most gratuitous slasher deaths ever put on film.
Sarah better run fast
Harry Warden wakes from a coma, kills dozens of nurses, orderlies, and doctors and then murders some great looking teens having a Valentine's Day bash in an old mine.  What a beautiful beginning. With dozens already shredded by a maniac, and the film not yet ten minutes old, we know that a classic can indeed be remade! Okay...ten years later. Survivors of the massacre are now adults. Sarah (Jaime King) is now married to Axel (Kerr Smith), who is the town's police chief.  Uh oh, one guy didn't hang around after the massacre...Sarah's old flame, Tom (Jensen Ackles).  But wait, out of nowhere, Tom returns...but from where? No one knows. He is back to sell the mine which he inherited after his dad died.
Jaw dropping terror
After Tom returns, and him and Jaime make lots of goo-goo eyes at each other (to Axel's dismay) more pick axe murders occur.  The townspeople are scared and believe the maniac is back and think Tom is the maniac...or is this too easy?  Then Axel's old flame, the skank Irene (Betsy Rue) gets it...and boy does she get it.  After some passionate pre-marital sex in a not-tell motel, she gets humiliated by a trucker and runs out after him, totally nude except for high heals and a gun.  This won't end well as our maniac pick-axes both of them in blood splattering fashion.  Axel believes Tom is responsible as video puts Tom at the crime scene just before the murders.  Uh oh, Axel may have some sanity issues as circumstances unfold that indicate he may be the maniac.  A bunch more killings and hearts plucked out and the buxom Sarah emerges as a victim-to-be.
Irene loses her heart
This film is in 3D and eyeballs will fly at you and so will a big pick-axe.  A sub-plot about a revenge scheme, years ago, undertaken by town elders against Harry Warden, plays well in enhancing the mystery of who exactly is the modern day maniac.  If you like gratuity of the nude and gory kind, you will love the scene depicting Irene's demise.  Directed by Patrick Lussier, and a  gratuitous acting effort by Betsy Rue, enhance 2009's "My Bloody Valentine" as a worthy remake to a beloved classic.
For my review of 1981's "My Bloody Valentine," click on this link 1981 My Bloody Valentine


  1. Since I saw the original in the theater, I might give this a whirl. Tom Fricking Atkins is in it so I better watch. Good review.

  2. Saw it in the cinema & had a blast with it & Tom Atkins' death was indeed rather jaw dropping especially in 3D. Great review Christopher definitely one of the more fun remakes.

  3. Just a so-so remake to me but also part of my collection. 2009 release 3D before the more resent glut pushing the format & TV's coincidentally also 3D formated. I'll take the 1981 original a simpler slasher time! But that's just my opinion Christopher!

  4. Alright not gonna lie, I've never seen this, but now I want to. Good review! ��