Wednesday, February 18, 2015

The Lost Empire, What the Charlie's Angels Re-Make should have been...

Babes in tight leather body suits.  Babes in skimpy leather gladiator outfits.  Babes in skin tight cowboy dress.  Today we will take a peek at 1985's "The Lost Empire," written, produced and directed by JimWynorski.  Just a few years after "Charlie's Angels" left the prime time airwaves, this film came along and rekindles some pleasant memories.  Even the musical score is suspiciously similar to that hit show from the 1970s.  With an incredibly attractive cast which includes Melanie Vincz (see photo below) as the sexiest policewoman of all, Raven De La Croix as an extremely shapely Indian princess, and the late Angela Aames as the alluring but tough convict, you guys out there are gonna want to put this film on your watch list.
Inspector Angel Wolfe (Vincz) of the LAPD, clad in a tight leather motorcycle gear, rides into a school and kills three gang members while saving a classroom full of children.  Her reward, pre-marital sex with an FBI agent (Paul Coufos).  No time to celebrate, as her cop brother is killed responding to a robbery.  When Angel investigates the robbery, she realizes that Satan's henchman, Dr. Sin Do (Angus Scrimm, "Phantasm") is responsible for the carnage.  Vowing revenge, she plots to infiltrate Sin Do's island fortress.  Not an easy task, but Sin Do has a contest every year in which women come to the island and fight it out to be crowned champion.  No individuals allowed, only teams.  So Angel puts her team together.  She dons a tight cowboy outfit and recruits Whitestar (De La Croix).  Next, she goes to the penitentiary and finds Heather (Aames) in the midst of a mud wrestling match with a dominatrix.  Now the three head to Sin Do's island.
As the three arrive at the island to compete for lotsa moolah, Sin Do has other plans.  No girl leaves the island, but are made slaves and sex toys.  Furthermore, Sin Do has each girl probed (violated) in search of electronic devices.  When one is found on a babe, he has her neck broken.  As the competition starts, the women compete in martial arts, archery, running, and gladiator duels to the death.  Upon exploring, our gals find that past competitors are caged and raped by Sin Do's people.  Uh oh... Sin Do wants Whitestar as his main sex partner.  After gassing her and letting his snake molest her, her partners summon the other girls for a rebellion.  Scantily clad, but armed with spears, bows and arrows, and Chinese flying stars, our babes take on Sin Do's army in an epic battle.  Will Wolfe be able to avenge the death of her brother?

With scantily clad babes always in deep peril, the appeal of this film is obvious.  Mr. Wynorski is never confused about what his assets are in this movie.  Angus Scrimm as a satanic super villain, and three buxom babes as his foils make up a can't miss formula.  The acting is terrific for this type of film, and wardrobes are always tight and revealing.  Have fun with "The Lost Empire," and tell yourself it is okay to bypass the preachy Hollywood bore-athons that were nominated for Oscars.

3 comments:

  1. I remember seeing this one on late night cable and then later as a VHS rental. Cool b-grade movie, love to see it again sometime. I think one of the most interesting sceans is when it appears that Whitestar has a good time with the snake, now that was bazaar.

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  2. love the movie but the worst,most confusing unresponsive dvd menu ever.there's no way of telling what you've selected.

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