Monster on a Plane, Critters at 35,000 Feet

Remember "Critters" from 1986? They're back, or at least, the German version.  The little buggers are now at 35,000 feet feasting on babe coeds, sultry stewardesses, hunks, and a cockpit crew.  "Airport" from the 1970s was supposed to be this movie but Dean Martin went spastic when he found out he would have to swap spit with a toothy creature. Today we look at the greatest film ever made in Germany, 2024's "Monster on a Plane," directed by Ezra Tsegaye.

A mad scientist smuggles a suitcase on board a 747 heading to Hamburg from some island paradise. Turbulence occurs and the suitcase opens in the cargo hold. Pretty stewardess Nathalie (Eva Haberman) is on her last flight before retirement, and enjoys talking naughty things with hot young stewardess Karin (Kim Kelly Braun).  Also on board is a nerdy professor, Ben (Robin Czerny), who is returning with his students back to Germany. His students? Most notably the nympho Melanie (Isabel Dornheim) and sweet Salima (Anamika Ditta). Okay, the creature, who looks a lot like the critters in the aforementioned 80s classic, first eats pretty stewardess Karin as she has pre-marital sex with the  co-pilot Nico (Nicolas Torrez).  To make matters worse, when the monster farts, the gas gets anyone near it high and they hallucinate. 

The creature attacks after farting thus the victims see either a centerfold model approaching or some other form of seduction getting close.  The erotic hallucinations allow the little toothy bugger to get up close and bite a limb off.  The pretty coeds will be shredded and so will most of the passengers.  The death count is astronomical and we plead with the screen that at least one sultry stewardess survives.  Nathalie is the best bet to be the surviving stewardess as she grabs anything she can to fight off the predator.  Uh oh, she'll also have to fight off a serial killer, all while falling in love with Ben.  So sweet.  Okay, there's a lot more, but now you see the ingredients to make the greatest film ever out of the EU country rapidly becoming a failed state. 

Will Karin and Nico's erotic death scene be used by stewardess training academies as a case study on the perils of pre-marital sex in the lavatory?  Will anyone on this 747 survive?  Is there any truth to reported accounts that Fritz Lang wrote this screenplay before leaving Nazi Germany for the U.S. in 1934?  Sultry stewardesses, a toothy creature, hot coeds, and an astronomical death count all await you when you put on "Monster on a Plane."