Tuesday, October 24, 2023

The Tank, Man's Feeble Attempt to get to Mars

Despite those YouTube videos you have seen about man reaching Mars.  You know, the ones that tell you how we will terraform the red planet and make it into broccoli and cabbage farms. Well...total fiction.  We are not going to get to Mars.  Our kids are not getting to Mars. Our grandkids are not getting to Mars.  If you haven't noticed, man is getting stupider as a species as the days progress.  Oh...Elon Musk isn't getting to Mars.  Here's the dirty little secret...NASA, Elon Musk, and any other space agency knows we're not getting to Mars.  This doesn't mean large defense contractors won't get rich selling and creating technology to sell to the government that supposedly will get us to Mars.  Hence our feature today, 2017's "The Tank," directed by Kellie Madison.

Government contractors build a big tank.  The thing is as big as a big submarine.  It is placed in Antarctica and a crew of six flawed scientists are put on board.  They will be left there for 417 days, the length of time it would take to get to Mars.  The purpose is to simulate human reaction to a flight to Mars.  The experiment will be an epic failure. No spoilers here...the film starts out with these encouraging words. Will (Jack Davenport) is the milquetoast captain...he did not pass his psyche-eval. Sure, either did Biden. The two space-babe wannabes are Nelly (Anna Lise Phillips),the doctor, and Julie (Marguerite Moreau (Julie Meyers) the geologist.  The guys are all nutcases; Thom (Christopher Redman), the peeping Tom sex pervert, Dane (Brad William Henke), the U.S. Marine, and Luke (Erik King), the religious fanatic.

After a smooth first five minutes, cracks in everyone's psyche appear. Someone steals the chocolate...really!  Passionate sex!  Fist fights!  Murder!  Not good.  Oh yes...the blizzard.  Remember the tank is in Antarctica.  Will, the guy who never passed his psyche-eval, is sensing failure.  So is his crew.  Then the bloody carnage begins.  Apparently this film is based on true events.  The events that unfold before us on the silver screen are believable.  In a day where NASA has done its best to bore us and make us believe that money spent on space exploration is a waste, failure seems inevitable for a manned Mars mission.

Will there be a catfight between the space-babe wannabes over the semi-hunks in this tank?  Just who is going to go all Norman Bates on the rest of the crew?  Does Will have a shot at any of the medals that General Milley earned for losing so many wars?  This is a grim one...but probably a good assessment of the U.S. efforts, or so-called efforts, to reach the red planet.  See "The Tank" and then demand NASA has its funding cut. 

  

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