I know this film will not get a lot of love...but it is a lot better than than the most recent 'Indiana Jones" monstrosity. Loops are not for everyone...but this one will provide a lot of imaginative gore, some nubile babes falling victim to vampires, and some terrific kills. Sure, we don't have a woke-checklist checked off...but that is caused for celebration. Today we look at 2022's "VampyrZ on a Boat," directed by Mark Allen Michaels.
Deep in the bowels of an underground laboratory, the experiment gets out. Now the experiment is transferred to a large research ship heading out to sea. Del (Curt Lambert) heads security for the vessel and hires his buddy Max (Dallas Valdez) to provide the security. Max is a retired CIA spook. Max is hesitant about accepting the position until he sees Sara (Carrie Keagan). He falls instantly in love with Sara...probably because she has great big...er...well, she has a big smile. Okay...off to sea. Instantly Sara and Max have pre-marital sex...and the experiment on the boat gets loose. The experiment? A 1,000 year old vampire king (Kendall Wells) who never gets sick and is indestructible. The scientists hope to study the toothy creature so they can cure illness and death...always a good idea.
Sadly, Sara is bitten and taken by the vampire after it massacres much of the crew...limbs and internal organs everywhere. Now Max and Del seek to rescue Sara...even though she is not the same Sara that just nailed Max. Max is bitten several times and seemingly mortally wounded during these rescue attempts...but heals fast. Even after being killed...he pops back to life. Now the scientists on the vessel wonder why Max is not infected and why he does not die. Meanwhile, the vampire king now has half the crew as his vampire slaves. Max and Del plod through the ship seemingly eternally unsuccessful in their rescue attempts. Early on we see that Max and Del are reliving their initial rescue attempts, and each subsequent time, are able to correct the errors of the previous one.
Why doesn't Max get infected or stay dead? Is Sara better off as the slave of the vampire king than with this CIA spook who may be a monster, himself? What will happen if this vessel reaches land? Quirky and gory, "VampyrZ on a Boat" is a good watch, especially on a Friday night monster movie night. By the way...stay for the end credits...just saying.
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