The sultry Laurette Luez! Yep, 34-24-35! Today we don't see a women's measurements given out. This is probably because many actresses can surgically select parts of these measurements. In 1950 these measurements were a big deal. Plus, if the costume in a film were a skimpy animal skin, measurements would need to be known...I guess. Today we look at 1950's "Prehistoric Women," directed by Gregg G. Tallas. Sultry women in heat need men and the men are clueless. In prehistoric times this was the case...and we are back to those times here in 2021. Alas nubile sorority gals nowadays can only find slashers and sex maniacs.
As our film begins a tribe of women in prehistoric times is in heat. Clad in some alluring animal skins, these beauties dance, gyrate, contort, and moan. They have never seen men. Tigri (Luez) and her buddies dance a lot, skinny-dip, and hunt. Uh oh, the evil nine-foot Guadi (Johann Petursson) hunts the babes. The babes usually get away. A hunting party of men (ick!) wanders into the females' territory. The men are led by hunk Engor (Allan Nixon). The babes attack and capture many of Engor's party. These captured men will be tied up, beaten, humiliated, as the conquering babes are really aroused, now. Engor escapes and regroups. The brute accidentally discovers fire and doubles back to rescue his mates.
The babes, after fighting off Guadi again, find Engor and capture him. Tigri takes a liking to this sweaty he-man...so does her tribe-mate Arva (Mara Lynn). Arva tries to make a move for Engor and Tigri beats the snot out of her in a gratuitous cat-fight. Yes! The men are content, for now, in letting the babes tie them up and lead them around on leashes. No, Tigri and her femmes don't have leather garb and whips...yet. Engor gets bored and leads a revolt. There will be much fighting and the babes will end up where they usually do...on the bottom. Still, Tigri, Arva, and the rest of the vixens have another weapon...sex appeal. As the dinosaurs get ready to attack, and Guadi returns, the two groups are in peril from much more than each other.
Who will ultimately win the battle between Engor's tribe and Tigri's tribe? Is Tigri's 34-24-35 frame too good to be beaten and tamed? Are a women's measurements the big reason why the 21st century has no answer for Lana Turner, Carole Landis, and Mamie van Doren? Perhaps a sad foretelling of the fate of women in Hollywood today, or perhaps just a gratuitous exploitation film with sweaty babes with great figures in much peril. Either way, "Prehistoric Women" is a must see for those yearning for a women's measurements to make a return to the IMDB page.
Ya ba dabba doo, I'm afraid women have weaponised sex, so Androids in mini skits, here we come, ya ba dabb doooo!
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