Retrograde, Dolph Lundgren and Time Travel

Today we have the best film ever made in Luxembourg. An ambitious Dolph Lundgren epic in which he is shirtless a lot and grunts. Add in a plague that threatens to wipe out humanity and deadly meteors in Antarctica...and we have a good one. Admittedly, not much cheesecake here but you ladies will love the buff Dolph Lundgren. Hence 2004's "Retrograde," directed by Christopher Kulikowski.

200 years into the future, humanity is being overtaken by a plague. A team is assembled to travel back 200 years and collect and destroy the meteorites that unleashed the scourge. John (Lundgren) captains the time-travel expedition. His family has just died of the plague. Uh oh, Dalton (Joe Montana...not that one), tries to take over the ship as he wants to control the deadly plague and thus rule the world. The ship crashes in Antarctica near an ice cutter with a scientific crew looking for meteorites. The crew of the ice cutter find the crashed spaceship and a wounded John. The crew brings John back to their ship a long with plague-meteorites. The infections start and some of the crew are overtaken and turn into violent monsters. John is immune and he gets better just in time to help the crew fight off Dalton's invasion.

As Dalton seeks to kill everyone and steal the plague-meteorites, John teams up with the very sweet Renee (Silvia De Santis). She won't be much help, but she is sweet. As Dalton goes through the ice cutter crew like crap through a goose, as does the plague, John grunts and shows off his pecs. Many will die but the entire planet will die if John doesn't repel Dalton and destroy the meteorites.

Will the buff John and the sweet Renee enjoy pre-marital sex amidst a battle to save humanity? If successful, will John's plague stricken wife and child get to live, albeit 200 years into the future? Is this film the definitive statement on the ethos of Luxembourg and their peoples? If a grunting and flexing Dolph Lundgren excite you, enjoy "Retrograde," and remember, the future of mankind emanates from Luxembourg.