Dracula vs. Frankenstein, Vampire Wimp

Bela Lugosi versus Boris Karloff? Not quite. In fact, our Count Dracula today looks more like Arnold Horseshack from "Welcome Back Kotter." How about the Frankenstein monster? He looks like Hal Holbrook sucking a lemon. Don't fret, we have a good one today, 1971's "Dracula vs. Frankenstein." This Al Adamson classic has a couple things going for it. First, whenever the plot begins to drag, a decapitation jumps at you out of nowhere. Second, the very buxom, nubile, and trashy damsel in distress Judith Fontaine (Regina Carrol). As heads fly though the air and so does Judith's cleavage, our film today will satisfy all you B movie fans.

The buxom, nubile and trashy Judith, Vegas entertainer

The plot? Not important, and hard to grasp, but here is my humble interpretation. The lovely Joan (Maria Lease) is decapitated on the beach underneath a carnival's Emporium of Creatures house. The buxom, nubile, and trashy Vegas entertainer, Judith Fontaine heads to the California beach to look for her missing sister, Joan. Uh oh, the creature house is run by Dr. Frankenstein (J. Carrol Nash) who sends his henchman, Groton (Lon Chaney, Jr.) out to decapitate hippies and steal their nubile babes. Dr. Frankenstein seeks to create an army of monsters which he surgically creates out of dead people. Uh oh, Dracula (Zandor Vorkov) pays him a visit.

Dracula selects his bride

Dracula has found the original Frankenstein monster (Shelly Weiss) and teams up with the mad doctor. Now Groton and the creature both set out to capture nubile hippie babes and kill their boyfriends. Judith starts snooping and joins forces with a hippie know-it-all named Mike (Anthony Eisley). He is an arrogant sort but Judith and her cleavage still has pre-marital sex with him in the surf. The two figure things out and head over to Dr. F's creature emporium where more decapitations will occur and a maniac midget will get an ax in the face. Dracula gets a view of Judith's cleavage and of course wants her for his bride and he charges the Frankenstein creature to abduct her.

Judith in a predicament

Will Judith ever make it back to Vegas with her cleavage intact?  Wouldn't Frankenstein's army of the undead be more potent if it was made up of vigorous, virile, and potent young men instead of nubile hippie babes? Will Dracula team up with the rest of the sweathogs and continue to misbehave? This is a fun one, and if you like lots of cheesecake and B movie zaniness, have a look at "Dracula vs. Frankenstein."