Terror Night, The Silents Come Back to Kill

Shelley Winters in her autobiography said "Making love is like eating pizza...hot and juicy or cold and soggy, its all good." The same maxim applies to slasher films. Quirky and unique, or standard and predictable, slasher films always please. Today we have an apparent standard and predictable slasher film, 1987's "Terror Night" (aka "Bloody Movie").  Some great looking college kids, lots of pre-marital sex, a haunted mansion stalked by a maniac, and some throw-in characters just made for being slashed.  Of course we have the promiscuous ones who will die horribly, and then the clean cut ones who will survive...or will they?

Chip and Kathy

In the opening scene we learn that legendary silent film star Lance Hayward (John Ireland) is presumed dead and his mansion is set to be razed. The property taxes haven't been paid and the bank has claimed the property.  Grizzly Adams (Dan Haggerty) and another bank executive visit the place the night before the bank will take possession and both will die horribly. Grizzly Adams will be harpooned and another schmuck will be pulled in half after being tied to the bumper of a car. In fact, all the murders in this film will mirror deaths from old Lance Hayward silent films. Second scene: blonde bimbo Sherry (Jamie Summers) and her beau Greg (Ken Abraham) are in an elongated bathtub scene in which the two naked college kids are rubbing soap all over each other.

The unfortunate Sherry

Six of these college kids think it would be fun to head over to the abandoned mansion for a night of pre-marital sex...what could go wrong?  Unbeknownst to them, two bikers, Jo (Michelle Bauer) and Angel (Jim Elwells) head over there for drugs and sex.  Kathy (Staci Greason) and nerd Chip (William Butler) actually want to go because they love the silents and think Lance Hayward is cool. But wait! Hayward isn't dead...he is a psycho maniac and hunts down the hunks and babes with swords, battle-axes, shotguns, etc.  Michelle Bauer will be chased while totally nude, and when she puts her leather outfit on, will be whipped unmercifully.  Oh yes, remember the skank in the bathtub...yep...you guessed it...the most memorable death scene of the film awaits her.

Lance Hayward does Othello

As the characters die horribly, will the clean cut Kathy and nerd Chip survive?  Did the lack of sex and nudity in Hollywood's silent films increase Lance Hayward's sexual frustration to the point of brutal homicide?  Is this film a metaphor for the fate of modern day Hollywood and they're stale writing and acting?  I warn you, don't get too attached to anyone in this film as it doesn't follow the rules of who survives and who doesn't.  For some great kills and an nice surprises, see Nick Marino's "Terror Night."