The Feeding, Lycanthrope Carnage in Virginia

The holiday season is finally over. You endured Jimmy Stewart in "It's a Wonderful Life." Tom Hanks' "Polar Express" nearly drove you homicidal.  "Rudolph" and "Frosty"....whoa boy, put down that ax!  Let us get back to real movies....ones that uplift the soul.  Yep, ones that speak to us, where hunks and babes play spin-the-bottle and skinny-dip...and then get shredded by a monster.  2006's "The Feeding" (available on Netflix) is just such a film.  Filmed near Bedford, Virginia (home of a neat D-Day memorial), writer/director Paul Moore has given us a cure for the holiday malaise.

Deep in the woods, a creature has eaten all the deer and moved on to humans.  After two hunters are eaten, Jack Driscoll (Robert Pralgo), super ranger, shows up.  He organizes a posse of other rangers (werewolf food), and outlines a strategy to hunt whatever is out there.  Also arriving, Aimee (Dione J. Updike), babe-ranger, a specialist in animal behavior...she will have to be to deal with Jack.  Jack is brilliant and explains why an animal is feeing in this manner, "..animals are like people, every now and then they lose their mind."  Uh oh, guess who decides to hit those same woods.  You guessed it, the obligatory babes and hunks (seven of them), who get naked a lot, and kiss a lot (see picture below).  Each one of these schmucks has had relations with everyone else in this camping party.  The posse hits the woods, and Jack and Aimee team up.  Alas, Jack has a plan.  Jack will sit in a tree, while Aimee presumes the role of bait, on the ground.  Jack leaves her with this guidance, "...just sit there by the fire, show some cleavage...it'll show up."

Meanwhile, after much skinny dipping and pre-marital sex, our nymphomaniac youths settle down for a night of more pre-marital sex.  Unfortunately for our septet, they don't know the rules of these types of films, as this behavior ends in lots of carnage.  The werewolf attacks and pulls apart a few of the campers.  Aimee and Jack arrive and save the survivors.  Now on the run, the werewolf pursues, hungry for dessert.  Aimee and Jack, insufficiently armed, must either hunt this thing (which Jack does), or get the campers to safety in a fortified shelter (which Aimee attempts).  Aimee (pictured below) and Jack realize that this is no ordinary werewolf (...as if there are ordinary werewolves).

Will Aimee, Jack, and the surviving nymphomaniacs survive the night?  Where did this creature come from, and is it really a lycanthrope?  Will the sexual tension between Aimee and Jack lead to pre-marital sex? The conclusion is filled with great gore, axes, rifles, arrows and fire.  This is a fun movie, with lots of gore and great looking actors and actresses.  If you don't have the heart to tell your sophisticated friends that you have no desire to see "Selma" with them, lie and feign a headache.  That way, you can stay home, and watch "The Feeding" on Netflix.