Phoenix the Warrior, Cat-Fights in an Apocalyptic Wasteland

Today we revisit one of the best film settings in movie history...the apocalyptic wasteland.  Nothing says 1980s cheese better than this location. Even better, in this particular apocalyptic wasteland all men are dead, only a few women have survived and they all look like they are from NFL cheerleading squads. The women are practically naked and like to fight and murder each other. Scantily clad and very sweaty, the beauties in this film engage in a vicious war where gratuitous cat-fighting will rule the day.

Okay, Keela (Peggy McIntaggart) is with child (don't ask). Because of this she has escaped a city ruled by The Reverend Mother (Sheila Howard), an ugly cyborg thing who needs the child to become master of the universe or something (don't ask). Cobalt (Persis Khambatta) is charged with finding Keela, but Phoenix (Kathleen Kinmont) rescues her and flees the city. Bad news, Cobalt's scantily clad army of sweaty babes massacres Phoenix' scantily clad army of sweaty babes, and now Keela, Phoenix, and Keela's son are on the run.

Five years pass and Keela's son is still pursued by Cobalt. Of course, our two leggy blondes need supplies and must sneak back into Reverend Mother's city. Phoenix will be captured as she doesn't blend well...besides, every woman in the city wants sex with her...before murdering her. Keela is still on the loose, but without Phoenix...not very competent. Phoenix does escape until a group of disfigured mutants catch her, Keela, and the son. Our blondes are then strung up for sacrifice and Cobalt rides off with the son. Oh yeah...I forgot to mention the only man (James Emery)...actually he's not worth mentioning. The babes must escape the mutants and return to the city for a lot of cat-fights, free Keela's son, and kill Reverend Mother.

Can our duo of tanned blonde babes pull off a rescue mission, kill the monster Reverend Mother, and repopulate the planet with at least a few men? Is it wise to reintroduce the male species onto the planet Earth (a good question to ponder in the Feminine Studies Departments at Ivy League institutions)? Is the proclivity to engage in cat-fights to the death a poor omen for a planet now destined to be ruled by women, or just plain gratuitous fun? "Phoenix the Warrior" is one of the best films that relies on cat-fights as a main plot device you will ever see...not that you like these kind of movies...

Dead Stop, Monster vs. College Kids

What's worse than the cops breaking up your college keg party? Yep, when its broken up by a hairy, toothy monster with big claws. I hate when that happens. Hence 2011's "Dead Stop." Here we have some great looking college kids, a great looking professor and his skank student/aide, and best of all...the creature. A mean creature who doesn't like intrusions into his territory, mind you. Yeah, it's one of those films where we are rooting for the monster, but that sentiment may not last until the end credits.

My favorite is Sarah (Nikki McKenzie). She's real pretty and no one likes her. Her boyfriend Josh (Brian Romian) will have pre-marital sex with Todd's (Michael Rupnow) GF Beth (Cathy Baron). No one pays much attention to this beauty except when she loses control and screams. Anyway, these kids and the hitchhiking professor Joe (Jon Briddell) and his GF Carolyn (Sarah Flannery) get lost and stranded in the desert. They drink a lot of beer, get wasted, burn incense and then everyone but Sarah has sex. Oh yeah, Peter the Goth (David Leigh) also doesn't have sex. At night strange noises are heard. Uh oh, its a creature stalking them.

The attacks start...whatever it is, its mean and ticked off and cuts through their van like razors through paper. As the creature gets bolder, it begins killing humans. One by one the beautiful fall...so sad. Oh yeah, human drama. Everyone finds out their GFs and BFs are having sex with others. Will they kill each other off before the monster gets them? The group formulates plans...some good plans...but clumsiness and stupidity ruin them. As cat-fights brew and Sarah tries to figure out who's eyes to scratch out first, Carolyn or Beth, the monster gets hungrier.

Will Carolyn take out any of the other babes before the grouchy monster gets them...or her? Will the 42 year old Professor Joe find a plan to kill the creature before organizing an orgy? If every human hates the sultry Sarah, will the monster take a liking to her? A minor, but good, creature-hunts-college-kids flick with some great looking actors and actresses. The kills will be gory and heartbreaking, at times. Directed by Jonas Stone, see "Dead Stop" and wonder what Roger Corman would have done with this story...perhaps that would not have served Sarah well.

Muckman, Monster of Pennsylvania

All those TV shows on Discovery and History (throw in A&E and Syfy) that purport to search for legendary monsters...gotta love them. Perhaps one day, one of those shows will find one. They can't find Sasquatch, Nessie, ancient aliens, Hitler in Argentina, D.B. Cooper, a Yeti, or the Jersey Devil. We still watch them. Hence today's film, the low-budget 2009 epic, "Muckman" (directed by Brett Piper). Perhaps this film is a fair treatment of the aforementioned efforts, but this one has some nice appeal...a great looking cast and terrific creature effects.

Mickey O'Hara's (Steve Diasparra) TV show was proven a fraud a few years back when he tried to find the legendary Muckman. TV audiences have short memories. The producers reluctantly agree to send the team back to the Pennsylvania swamps to find the beast. The sultry, but bitchy, Asia Buchanon (A.J. Khan) will host the show which features the search. Asia always looks great in the swamp clad in high heels, tight suits, and lots of cleavage. Curly and Drew (Ian Piper and Jared Warren) are the sound and camera guy and the very pretty Pauline (Danielle Donahue) is the Asia-wannabe crew member. Oh yes, Billie (Alison Whitney) drives the RV and seems the only normal one among the group. She and the viewer roll their eyes at the same times.

Asia, in reality, is in on this second hoax. Her career was ruined with Mickey's when the first attempt ended up exposing them as frauds. Uh oh...they seem to be getting close to The Muckman as it seems to be stalking them. But wait, Billie on her own volition finds weird eggs that hatch into muckman-like creatures. But wait again! Indications are that Asia and company are faking it all over again. As Billie seems to be getting closer to the genuine creature, Asia and crew seem to be putting together another scam. Billie and Pauline are quite pretty, so for no reason, both don bikinis and have a cat-fight in a nearby river. As Billie is put in danger on many fronts, Asia and crew also are imperiled by different forces.

Is The Muckman real, and will he attack Billie or Asia? Will Asia and Billie also treat us to a cat-fight? Will Discovery pick up this show after our boys at Oak Island get thrown out of Canada? Perhaps comedic in some points, but perhaps an accurate portrayal of  how many of these cable shows are indeed put together. In a tale where the very pretty meet the slimy and hideous, "Muckman" emerges as a very entertaining and witty horror film.

Alyson Moon Interviewed by Chris Zisi

After viewing two 18 minute films of Alyson Moon it would be easy to say I have just seen two horror shorts by an alluring Asian beauty. That would be an understatement and do disservice to the work of Alyson Moon. In reality, "The Ritual" and "No Trespassing," though technically are short horror films, are two well choreographed dance pieces...'danse macabre' shall we say. Or perhaps these two terrifying films are cut out of an opera. Maybe I'm making too much out of this film duo, though Alyson Moon has created two pieces that so mirror her ethos that over-simplification needs to be eschewed.

Appropriately these films are about a modern woman (and quite a good looking one) trudging through the wastelands which are today's major cities. Like our sultry protagonist, Dublin and Stockholm also have elements of a time long ago that pull us back to a more pure time filled with mystery and elements of nature that befuddled us. The modern world may falsely believe that they have eschewed superstition and magic, and so may the young people in those urban centers. In reality, the past has an icy hold on them and eventually it will claim them back. These two stories are told in a cacophony of music, visuals, and acting (I would even go so far as to say a choreographed dance presentation). Watching Alyson Moon sashay through these films is like watching a graceful ballet star woo an audience.

The mystifying and horrific elements of "The Ritual" and "No Trespassing" are quite a contrast to the glamour and allure of Miss Moon. The Asian radiance and beauty set in America's film capital, southern California, is a dichotomy that is similar to the protagonist's plight in the above mentioned horror shorts. Though not biographical pieces, it is easy to see why Miss Moon was so naturally able to capture the camera and our imaginations in her portrayals.
Alyson Moon was kind enough to talk to me about the above mentioned films and a third one, "Scrupulosity." I haven't mentioned this ten minute shocker as given spoilers would be too easy. I'm so thankful that Alyson was kind enough to discuss it. What follows is a short interview I did with this beautiful actress and filmmaker...another interview will occur in the near future.

Chris Zisi: The difference between a perceived adherence to a religion and a relationship to God. You have shown what an OCD adherence to religion can do...ultimately take you away from the true God...Your dramatic performance here seemed personal. In other words, this struggle is one that took place close to you (or maybe its personal). Can you talk about your own spirituality, and has it matured as you have begun making films? Part two, Can you speak a little about what you have seen in today's culture that makes "Scrupulosity" such an important film (which I believe it is)?

Alyson Moon: The religious theme can have a thousand interpretations but when we talk about faith, the speech becomes more complicated. Personally I have always had a very strong spirituality, but this should not be confused with being bigoted. They are two very different things. I am not a Christian, I am of Buddhist faith but I have always proclaimed myself as multi-member because I have studied and followed Taoism for many years, and I have made mine many of its teachings. I also share some of the principles of Hinduism and Zoroastrianism because they can teach us a lot. In modern culture it is easy to fall victim to religious scrupulosity because we tend to consider religion as something to be feared, something that punishes those who do not follow a set of rules, and this in my opinion is wrong.

In my opinion, religion must always have a positive value, it must be something that comforts, helps, and why not, also that makes you happy. The great enlightened masters like LaoTse and Krishnamurti were cheerful, witty people and laughed a lot. Who said that a spiritual teacher must always be serious, gloomy and sad? This is wrong. Returning to the film, in Scrupolosity I wanted to show, even if in an exaggeratedly dramatic way, to which extremes it can bring a misinterpreted sense of awe or fear of breaking the will of a Superior being ready to punish those who make the slightest mistake. This must never happen! I love to imagine that there is a kind of father or mother up there in the sky, loving and welcoming.

Chris Zisi: I love the themes of modern society not being out of reach from its past. Today's Stockholm and Dublin may seem very 2019, but the 'old ways' still have a grip, and perhaps something to impart on us. Your lovely protagonists in these films are not out of the reach of the supernatural elements of the past. Pretty deep (at least to me, like I said, I'm not the smartest guy in the world). Can you discuss what motivated these plots and are you, perhaps, warning modern society about the perils of thinking they are so advanced, advanced enough to forget where they came from?

Alyson Moon: I decided to set NO TRESPASSING in Dublin (although some scenes we went to shoot in Czech Republic) because I really like the atmosphere of old Ireland and then I said: this film must have as a setting the old Dublin with its atmosphere dark and that perennial haze that makes everything more fascinating and mysterious. This is perhaps the film that I enjoyed most to realize, perhaps because I too feel a bit '"a witch or a sorceress" (but much kinder than this of the movie, haha).

During its realization there were also some funny moments but I cannot tell any anecdote to not create spoilers to those who have not yet seen the movie.

As for THE RITUAL, the discourse is more complex. I am a big fan of classical culture and I like very much the ancient Greek history. For this reason I wanted to write a movie that even if set in our time, however, had a link with the past, a kind of thread that connects the culture of the ancient Greeks, with its legends and its rituals, to the current curiosity for magic and for occultism. Currently black magic is a very controversial subject that is spreading very quickly, sometimes taking on a dangerous value when it is practiced by malicious people. In my film, however, I do not speak mainly of this, but I wanted to put all the attention on the Eleusinian rites of ancient Greece.

The  Eleusinian Mysteries are the cults of pre-Hellenic origin, which originally took place in Eleusis, in Attica, since the seventh century BC, such as feasts for agriculture and fertility. Later, when Eleusis became part of the Athenian state, such feasts became the official cult of the Athenian league and extended to all of Greece, as well as to the colonies. They were also widely distributed in Rome, as a cult of Cerere-Proserpina, counting among the initiates Cicero (106-43 BC) and later the emperor Gallieno (253-268 AD). The cult was banned by the Christian emperor Theodosius in 392 and Eleusis was sacked by the Visigoths. The Eleusinian mysteries are therefore rich in symbolism: mysteries of fertility, of birth and death, and not only in relation to agriculture, but also as hope for a better life beyond death.  There is one thing to explain: in a scene of the movie appears a vast field of wheat that has a precise and very important symbology: wheat, as the sun descends as vital energy in the earth in autumn (descent), where it grows up to re-emerge opening the road in the darkness of the womb in winter: a clear parallelism with the spiritual journey of the profane (seed) that turns into neophyte (new plant), to achieve its maturation of initiate.  Obviously I cannot unveil the ending of the movie, but I can say that certainly will not bore the audience! 😉

Chris Zisi: Modelling, acting, dance perhaps, choreography, directing ? Where does Alyson want to go from here? From my vantage point, it really looks like 2019 and 2020 are important years for you, and I see you ready to strike it big. What do you want to accomplish, in addition to film making, over the next 2 years.

Alyson Moon: I am a person who hates to get bored, so I never stop for a moment. I always need to face new challenges, design, create, develop ideas. Currently I'm making a new horror movie set in the circus world, but not in the traditional sense: it will be rather a sort of sideshow, a macabre carnival full of intense moments. And I'm finishing writing the script of another movie, but there will be time in the future to talk about it. You forgot to mention painting, among my great interests: I recently invented a new pictorial technique inspired by Jodorowsky's psychomagic. This technique is my secret, and in this regard I can only say that it is a pictorial technique capable of arousing very strong emotions as it is able to create a "connection" with a loved one, even if far away.

Since I can never stop me, I plan to write a book and for now I can not reveal the content but I can say that it will be touching.

What else to say? Try to enjoy life as much as you can, as if it were the last one,  because every moment of it is precious.

Chris Zisi:   In a world increasingly relying on computers and smart phones, art is a perfect way to keep us human. In "About Art" (available on YouTube, you seduce our subconscious or creative mind to bust out and follow you on a tour of what art is and where it can take us. Are we as a society de-valuing art? If so does this scare you? I see your efforts as an actress, dancer, painter, etc as an attempt to remind or introduce people the magic and usefulness of art, and its ability to keep us human...is that accurate?

Alyson Moon: Any form of human activity as evidence or exaltation of his inventive talent and of his expressive capacity can be defined as art. the meaning of a creation usually does not have a well-defined boundary, but is extremely mobile and fluctuating. art speaks the language of the heart, makes us see from a different, deeper, more human perspective the reality that surrounds us, so it is almost the synthesis between our ego and external reality. No, I do not think that we are a society that underestimates art, indeed I notice with great pleasure that a growing number of people approach art in its most sublime form, understanding its true essence. On the contrary, I believe that people have an ever greater need for art around them, understood in its most beautiful meaning, that of pure poetry. I do not want to introduce people to art: I am not a teacher and therefore it would be presumptuous to want to "teach". The concept of art is modular and that is why every artist tends to give a very personal vision, depending on their points of view and their conditioning.

Chris Zisi:    s Alyson as an actress and Alyson as an artist (painter or dancer). Many great actors and actresses have been great painters and dancers...does acting and painting (...or dancing) feed off of each other in order to make you better at each medium?

Zhang Hanyun: More than nurturing each other, I think they complement each other. All forms of art are never pre-established, they are not programmed and never follow a precise logic: simply, you have to follow your instinct and see where it is taking you. Oscar Wilde said that art reflects the viewer, not life, and in these words there is a fund of truth. Of course, art is insensitive to the application, but when you can transmit sensations and emotions in a pure way it means that it has arrived at the destination. In my movie "About art" you can see how even simple old bottles can express art: everything depends on what eyes you watch them. The water of a flowing stream, a dance step, a stain of color, are they really what they appear? Each object could be a dreamlike and surreal vision: who are we to say exactly what it is? Who prevents us from making unusual combinations, and why define them if this is only an illusory way of interpreting things?

Chris Zisi:   Which medium (acting, dancing, painting...or any other medium) is the best way for you to express to us "who is "Alyson Moon"?

Alyson Moon: I believe that there is no better way than another to express oneself: I was born first of all as a writer, I write since I was twelve years old and I have continued over the years. So far I have published five books and I am thinking of the sixth. As for painting, it is an art form that gives me great pleasure and emotion. Recently I have created a new technique of painting that takes partial inspiration from psychomagic, and raises in those who require the work great emotions, due precisely to the particularity of this technique, very simple but at the same time also complex.

About acting, I must admit that it is a great love because it is so exciting to enter each other's life each time. Someone believes that when an actor is acting he is lying, but this is not true: when you are playing a role do not "pretend" to be another person: "you borrow his life, that of the character, that for a certain time becomes yours, completely, and it's a magical moment. 😊

Having the opportunity to befriend Alyson Moon was a true pleasure for me. I am excited about her future and the films she will make. Stay tuned, I will have a second interview with this fascinating and dynamic personality. Please click on the links below to see her films and read more about her.

The Ritual on YouTube
No Trespassing on YouTube
Scrupulosity on YouTube
About Art on YouTube

Cinemaisseur Interview of Zhang Hanyun
Go Fund Me Campaign for The Circus

Decadent Evil, Vampire Babes vs. Midget

Three sultry vampire women carry our film today...and I might add...a Charles Band film!  The vampire conflict contained in this movie might have began among the elite in sophisticated Europe. As with everything that is tempered in America...or Los Angeles, to be more specific...it devolves into decadence and carnal conflict. Hence, 2005's "Decadent Evil." Vampire strippers and bloody threesomes will carry our story today.

Fleeing eastern Europe, Morella (Debra Mayer), a vampire beauty, lands in Los Angeles. She and her two stripper vampire babes, Spyce (Raelyn Hennessee) and Sugar (Jill Michelle) ply their trade. The two strippers lure prey for Morella...guys and gals. Morella needs to bite 10,000 victims to become queen of all vampires. She is very close to that goal. The strippers use their sex-appeal to lure hunks and babes into Morella's castle and the trio then feed on them after the promise of a wild threesome.

Uh oh, Sugar has a mortal boyfriend, Dex (Daniel Lennox). She wants to leave the world of vampirism and run off with the hunk. Morella doesn't intend to let her go. Enter a midget Van Helsing, Ivan (Phil Fondacaro). Ivan has been tracking Morella since she killed his dad. Armed with stakes and garlic powder, Ivan finds Dex and convinces him to help kill Morella. As Dex and Ivan penetrate Morella's castle, Dex intends to save Sugar and run off with her. Ah, but wait! The duo may have a weird ally...a 12 inch mini-mutant vampire kept in a bird cage by Morella. The kills will be erotic and often include beautiful women handcuffed to a bed as the vampire vixens strip them of their clothes and undies. Decadent is the operative word here.

Just who or what is this 12 inch thing in the birdcage? Will Sugar be able to find love outside the vampire world? Does a midget Van Helsing figure have any shot at slaying the future queen of all vampires? Erotic and sleazy will rule the day in "Decadent Evil." For a less sophisticated vampire tale, where stripper vampires arrange threesomes with their sultry queen, "Decadent Evil" is a film for you. Not that anyone would want to see any of this stuff...but if you did...

Early Grave, Not Everyone Stays Dead

Okay...don't yell at me. I liked this film! Hey, it's better than anything Mila Kunis has ever been in. 2013's "Early Grave" is a low-budget slasher flick set and filmed in Maine. A great looking cast portray some great looking characters who are put in much peril. If nothing else, "Early Grave" leaves us with a message we can all relate to, that is if you kill someone don't be surprised if he/she comes back to hunt you down. I hate when that happens.

While in high school, seven friends pull a prank that leads to the demise of Tim (Nathan White). Scared and unwilling to jeopardize their futures, the seven friends bury the body and never talk about Tim ever again. Fast forward to today, all our amateur murderers are successful members of society. Mysteriously, Sally (Kayla Harrity) summons her six friends to spend the week-end at her Maine estate. She's a rich horror writer and the friends haven't kept in touch. This uncomfortable reunion will take on a horrific twist, but first...the drama.

Dana (Yerania Del Orbe), a big shot attorney now arrives and so does Gretchen (Kimberly Giardino)), now a housewife. They will rekindle a lesbian affair they had. Virginia (Kimbette Fenol) and Jack (Nathaniel Sylva) will engage in passionate pre-marital sex. Jim (Justin Brown) is a porn star and Lionel (Alexander Merrill) is just plain annoying and we all hope he gets it soon. Sally tells them she has seen Tim, thought to be dead, stalking her and a reporter called her wanting to do a story on his disappearance. The friends are  now beginning to panic. Then the killings start. The weapon of choice...a sickle. As the friends begin dying, messages in blood are written on their stomachs, like "whore" and "vengeance." One by one, the haphazard reunion gets smaller and smaller.

Has Tim really come back from the grave? Is Sally the horror writer merely putting her former friends, and witnesses to her wrong doing, through a potential story she will write? Who will die first, the lesbians making out, or the heterosexuals having pre-marital sex? Director Kevin DiBacco does a fine job in giving us a very likable slasher film.

Heartstopper, Shocker Meets Halloween 2

A crazed lunatic comes back to life after being fried in the electric chair. A teenage lass in the hospital is stalked by a seemingly invincible slasher. If you loved Wes Craven's "Shocker" and the original "Halloween 2," then 2006's "Heartstopper" is for you. Sure, perhaps this film is a rip-off of two neo-classics but at least it ripped off two movies we enjoyed instead of "Silkwood" and "Ordinary People." Warning, this one has a massacre scene you won't believe.

Serial killer Jonathan Chambers (James Binkley) is put to death in the electric chair after killing 'gazillions' of peeps by ripping out their hearts with his bare hands. On his way to the hospital for an autopsy, the police escort hits suicidal teenage beauty Sara (Meredith Henderson). She's put in the ambulance next to Chambers' corpse. Before they get to the hospital a psychic bond develops after the killer's tattoos jump over to Sara. At the hospital, Chambers reanimates and rips the heart out of the coroner. Sara knows Chambers is alive but pretty Nurse Denise (Laura de Carteret) doesn't believe her, nor does anyone else. Too bad, Chambers then starts ripping the hearts out of everyone he meets at the hospital.

Sheriff Berger (Robert Englund) figures out that Chambers is alive again, but will be of little help before Chambers does his number on him. Quasi-juvenile delinquent Walter (Nathan Stephenson) is wheeled in with stab wounds. He'll eventually believe Sara and now the two of them are running for their lives. Uh oh, Chambers conjures up a magic storm and locks all the doors to the hospital. Before the doors are locked a young couple and a family of five are wheeled into the ER after a crash. Nurse Denise will then be convinced of Chambers' reanimation after the fiend enters the emergency room and rips apart the family, the young couple (even though they were already ripped apart after the crash), hunk paramedics and doctors, and very pretty nurses. So bloody, so sad. Now the grouchy Nurse Denise and the two teens run for their lives as Chambers seems to want Sara for something very macabre.

Exactly what does Chambers want with the pretty Sara if not to pull her heart out? Does being a pretty nurse doom Denise to a fate of a blood-soaked white uniform? Will Walter fare any better than Lance Guest did in "Halloween 2"? This is a bloody one and even has a really pretty nurse (Amy Lalonde) who will meet a fate that will remind you of Pamela Susan Shoop's in "Halloween 2." Directed by Bob Keen, "Heartstopper" is for those of you who never got enough of "Shocker" and "Halloween 2."

Serial Kaller, Phone Sex Blood Bath

Wow! What an ending! Shocking, twisted, gory...and it goes places even the more extreme horror films of our times won't go. Hence the magnum opus of Dani Thompson (star, producer, writer, costume lady, etc.), 2014's "Serial Kaller." Forget about lines in the sand, this horror movie speeds  past them. Gratuitous in kinkiness and gore, with tons of some really imaginative kills, "Serial Kaller" might be the most graphic fright-fest you have seen this millennium.

Some of the most buxom and shapely women you have ever seen man an internet phone sex studio. The lingerie clad beauties are waiting for you to call in so they can talk dirty to you. The seductresses talk to customers while the schmucks watch them on the computer. Tonya (Thompson) and Claudia (Lucinda Rhodes) are buddies and and seem to have what it takes to be the final girl. Uh oh...performers will eventually start meeting gruesome fates. Two of the performers have set themselves apart and double team on the phones, Lucy (Suzi Lorraine) and Frankie (Jessica Ann Brownlie). The gals may seem amicable to each other, but deep down, they want to scratch each other's eyes out. As the sultry get sliced and diced, the suspects increase.

There is a weird caller (are there any other kinds in this industry?). There is a maniacal producer who is also a pervert, Jack (Stuart Brennan). Then there is Steph (Debbie Rochon). Though as sultry as the fetish gals, she is rejected when she tries to get a job at the studio. The other girls make fun of her age and are cruel. Steph, a cocktail waitress, must watch as the gals behave badly at her lounge. I haven't even mentioned the backstory that opens the film, but suffice it to say, it does provide a twisted motive for the butcherings. Electricity, big knives, disembowelment, drowning, pavement, and a BDSM whip are only a few of the murder weapons.

The trashier the gal, the more gory the death in this one. Is there a pervert caller or crew member responsible for the puree of the beautiful? Could one of the stunning sex-gals be eliminating her competition? Is whatever is contained in the backstory related to the massacre? Though none of the gals merit us pulling for them, we still pick favorites (mine are Claudia and Tanya). This film goes too far but for fans of this blog, that's all right. 50% allure and beauty, and 50% of spilled blood and guts, "Serial Kaller" (directed by Dan Brownlie) is a must for the hardcore (use that term how you wish) horror fan.

The 7th Hunt, Slaughter of the Annoying

Ominous...dark...without humor...gory...perhaps torture-porn...many will detest this film. Hardcore horror fans will find a gem. This is one of those movies that half who see it will be angered by it, and the other half will laugh and cheer. In 2009's "The 7th Hunt," don't get too attached to any one character as you might be disappointed. Will there be a 'final girl' here? You'll see. Survive or not, everyone will be bloodied and tortured.

Some wealthy criminal cabal has organized a hunt. The game? Great looking college aged hunks and babes...all with flaws, will be hunted. There will be Callie the Goth (Cassady Maddox), her sister Ariel the deaf athlete (Imogen Bailey), Ricky the misogynist (Matthew Charleston), and Sarah the spoiled and pampered rich girl (Olivia Solomons). They will all be abducted and preyed upon by an even more interesting gang of killers. My favorite is 'The Hand' (Tasneem Roc). She tortures with her martial arts and will be assigned to the misogynist. Our deaf sweetheart will be tortured and broken by 'The Sniper' (Jason Stojanovski)...this will be heartbreaking, be warned. The bloodiest is the 'The Knife' (Malcolm Frawley) and what he does to pretty young Sarah...eek!

As our abductees are bloodied and maybe killed...you'll see, we are let in on some weird dynamics. For example, the sultry Hand desires to kill another hunter, 'The Inquisitor' (Sarah Mawbey). 'The Inquisitor' is having sex with 'The Hand's' dad. The beauties are headed for a showdown themselves and the blood will flow even between the hunters. The hunt is more of a slaughter and the good won't fare well. Callie the Goth emerges as the one with the most fight, but beware, 'The Inquisitor' may just be playing with her. Knives, clippers, rifles, BDSM torture devices, and electricity are just a few of these torture and murder tools utilized on the beautiful victims.

Will any of these beauties survive the hunt and if so...what will be in store for them? The maker's of this film surely won't kill off a beautiful, clean-cut, deaf track star...will they? Will the sultry 'Hand' punish her rival 'Inquisitor' in a cat-fight to the death? I've left so much of the plot out but if you like your horror hardcore, bloody, and without mercy...see Jon Cohen's "The Seventh Hunt." This is one of the best Australian films of the 21st century.

Le Fear, A Werewolf...A Vampire...Beauty in the Swamp

A film noir take on the Yugoslavian take on werewolves! Yep, there is beauty in the swamp if you look in the right places. Jason Croot has crafted a film that shows us the importance of looking for beauty in the swamp. Today we look at "Le Fear," in which a bloke making a movie will need to find the beauty when everyone around him only sees swamp waste. What follows is hilarious, and what many of you filmmakers might see as biting reality.

Carlos (Kyri Saphiris) rents a warehouse to film a horror film. Interspersed with a casting call, our filmmaker sweet talks...and scams...a shady money-man (Fred Moss) to fund the project. Carlos isn't really into minute details and nailing down facts isn't a priority for him...and either is checking references. In several hilarious takes, we see Carlos choose his leading lady, Debbie D (Lucinda Rhodes) and leading man, Leon (Spencer Austin). These two will gel like Mentos and Diet Coke. In fairness to Carlos, a lot of us guys would be wooed by Debby D's adult-film experience. Also hired are the crew and they are something. Ilona Saic is Gabby the make-up lady, and her assistant, Pretty (Meaw Davis). As Pretty hawks pirated DVDs the entire film, Gabby talks non-stop about herself.

The filming begins and the talent appear as competent as a government funded health care program. The scenes get filmed with lots of takes and the egos and eccentricities of the cast and crew nearly tank production. Oh yes, the werewolf and vampire? You will have to see them. I'm not saying they're not scary and maybe a bit silly looking, but I have rarely have laughed so hard. As everyone turns negative and threatens to give up, Carlos keeps finding the beauty in the swamp of a production. Assuaging the egos of his talent and keeping his crew feeleing relevant, Carlos has taken on a herculean task.

Those of you have made films will recognize most of these scenes. As ridiculous as they may seem, the eccentricities of the creative do lend themselves to hilarity and weirdness. Sure, Jason Croot's "Le Fear" is a comedy about a schmuck making a horror film...but may also be a realistic chronicle of making a movie with slimy producers and the more...shall we say...creative elements of our population. For tons of laughs, see Jason Croot's "Le Fear."

I Come In Peace, Intergalactic Drug War

"Peace" is a funny word. Like "love," no one's definition of it is the same. Your definition of "peace" may be my definition of "enslavement." The Peace (anti-nuclear) Movement of the 1980s failed miserably because anti-nuclear activists couldn't convince anyone they weren't Communists in sheep's clothing. In the world of malignant space aliens, their definition of "peace" may be our ruination. Hence 1990's "I Come In Peace" (aka "Dark Angel") starring Dolph Lundgren.

An undercover drug deals goes bad...very bad. Detective Jack Caine's partner is killed and a seven-foot albino space alien (Matthias Hues) shows up. This alien kills most of the bad guys with a space weapon before Jack can come onto the scene. A Houston drug cartel is ticked and blame Jack for ruining their business. Our alien friend is an intergalactic drug dealer and starts killing schmucks. The monster kills, then sucks out his victim's brain fluid and mixes it with heroine he stole from the dead cartel baddies. His plan is to feed off humans, stealing their brain fluid, make more drugs and sell the drugs on his home planet.

Enter Jay Bilas...Duke basketball star...but in this film, an intergalactic narc. He chases the albino monster through Houston as Jack does the same. Jack teams up with an FBI agent (Brian Benben) and successfully irritates the albino.  Some neat chase scenes and lots of kills by the monster...and gunfights keep this action/horror flick interesting. Everything points to a final conflict with Dolph Lundgren and the albino alien...but first there will be a great battle with those two, Houston cops, the drug cartel, and maybe another irritant or two. The final confrontation will be classic Dolph Lundgren and will include some neat one-liners.

Will Dolph Lundgren team up with Jay Bilas and perhaps make this ESPN commentator semi-interesting? Will the albino space creature or the FBI be more of an irritant to Dolph Lundgren? Will Dolph Lundgren's Earth-man weapons be any match for the albino's space weapons? I guess the "Just Say No" campaign did not take hold outside our solar system (...or inside it, either). For some neat 1990 scifi/horror, see one of Dolph Lundgren's best films, "I Come In Peace."

6 Models in Hell, Torture of the Beautiful

Ahhhh...vanity! Not always a likable trait. Being beautiful is one thing...knowing you're beautiful can be downright ugly. In the cut-throat world of fashion modelling, beauty can be skin deep. This will be unfortunate for three babes and three hunks as an ominous presence will get below their skin with all sorts of cutting tools. Hence 2012's Simi Van Scoy film "6 Models in Hell."

Six models answer an ad and show up at a mysterious warehouse. Toni (Nikiya Palombi) is a Russian beauty. Sharon (Joale Norris) is a buxom egotistical slut. Tiffani (Jennifer Renee price) is a clueless blonde ditz. Joe (Krishna Tailor) is a GQ type steeped in vanity. Laura (Erica Saben) is a beauty of a tomboy. Mark (Jose Rosete) is a linebacker type who rapes women. Joining them is an actor, the mysterious Glenn (Tony Slade). As they all meet, several cat-fights brew and the guys throw around their testosterone. Insults are flung and cruelty rules the day. Exotic Toni and Glenn seem to be into each other and it appears Tiffani still isn't over Mark's humiliating rape of her. Uh oh...some mysterious women appear and they may be ghosts.

After a weird elevator ride, the models get separated and Glenn appears to all of them...not as an actor but as a tormentor. Glenn will oversee their torture and dismemberment. Hooks, castration, scalpels and other torture devices will be used. The beautiful and handsome are now facing their character flaws and justice is being meted out. Some of the beautiful will die quickly, others will undergo horrendous torture. But wait! Is there an escape? As Glenn emerges as a demon, at least one of the models may have a way out...and it won't be with weapons or keys.

Will Tiffani be able to turn the tables on her rapist, Mark? If Toni does get to have pre-marital sex with Glenn, will she ...well...forget I even went there. Just what is the way out and do any of these miserable sorts have what it takes to escape? Low budget all the way "6 Models in Hell" is a morality tale with some nice acting. Not always an easy film to watch despite the easy on the eyes actors and actresses, this film is a sleeper that is infinitely better than "Aquaman."

Secret Agent Super Dragon, Even Better Than James Bond

A gym full of nubile college coeds playing basketball. Then, in an instant, the world's biggest cat-fight as all the coeds try to rip each other apart. This is what is at stake in this 1966 action/exploitation flick, "Secret Agent Super Dragon." As the James Bond franchise has gotten moody, dark, and irrelevant, we harp back to a more innocent time where nubile babes often ended up in states of undress and a square jaw hero was always nearby to have pre-marital sex with them. There will be nubile coeds, nubile femme-fatales, nubile secret agents, and nubile local skanks...all seeking carnal relations with the handsome protagonist.

Michigan college students are acting weird, violent, and sometimes homicidal. Okay, I know...but in 1966 this was mildly weird. Bryan (Ray Danton) aka Super Dragon, takes the case after his colleague is killed. He heads to the Michigan college where nubile babes flock to him before turning into vicious killing machines. Bryan finds out that a mysterious shipment from Amsterdam arrived at the college and was used to infect the students. Off to Amsterdam he goes where he is met by another secret agent, Charity Farrel (Marisa Mell). Uh oh...she's sultry and will have pre-marital sex with Bryan, but can she be trusted?

Charity and Bryan trace the mysterious drug to a mad-scientist (Carlo D'Angelo) named Lamas. Lamas, unbeknownst to Bryan, has hooked Charity on the drug. Uh oh, another beautiful woman has already died from the effects of the drug. Bryan calls his favorite secret agent colleague to join him, Comfort (Margaret Lee). Comfort arrives and after some pre-marital sex with Bryan, is a target of Lamas and Charity's jealousy.  As Lamas' men try to kill Bryan, Comfort gets all dolled up to infiltrate Lamas' mansion and laboratory...uh oh, they are ready for her. Both Comfort and Charity will be put in much peril and Comfort will be stripped to her undies in preparation for torture. Bryan, smarter than James Bond, might just be able to save them and also rid the college scene of the evil intentions of a twisted mad-scientist.

Will Bryan be in time to save the underwear clad Secret Agent Comfort? Will Comfort and Charity engage in a knockdown-drag out cat-fight? Are students at large American universities worth being saved? This one features a lot of cheesecake and beefcake, with much corny action and little devices that would make James Bond proud. For some fun action and visually pleasing characters, see "Secret Agent Super Dragon."

Heart of Midnight, That Black Leather Night Club Gown

Ahhhh, the 1980s. Those of us who endured that magical decade remember browsing through Blockbuster and scoping out the neat box art on those VHS cases. Under the thriller section there was one that caught our eye...the sultry blonde with the bare-back leather party gown on the cover. Jennifer Jason Leigh...to be specific. Hence today's feature, 1988's "Heart of Midnight." Many compare it to a David Lynch film...I guess I could see that. I, however, saw it more as a Roman Polanski type film with Ms. Leigh as a similar sort as Catherine Deneuve in "Repulsion." Mentally unstable and fastly becoming more unstable...perhaps the same plight we all share.

She's totally insane but meds are helping her control violent outbursts and weird hallucinations. Carol (Leigh) is pretty though, so we pull for her. In a strategy to cure her insanity she arrives at a dilapidated nightclub (The Midnight) to take over its restoration and to re-open it. The place belonged to her Uncle Fletcher (Sam Schact) and he left it to her when he died. Uh oh...Fletch was a pedophile and much more and Carol dislikes to be touched...can you guess why? Immediately the spooky place affects Carol, strange visions and sordid memories of her and Uncle Fletcher start haunting her. Double uh oh, ghosts seem to occupy the place. It is unclear if the ghosts are protecting Carol or bent on her demise. The apparent ghosts enable Carol to be gang raped and also see to the destruction of the rapists.

As Carol is deluged with images of her uncle's pedophilia, BDSM lifestyle, and some snuff, the visions and haunting continue. Enter the apparent;y sleazy Larry (Peter Coyote). He knows all about Uncle Fletcher and he tries to romance Carol and also dive into the secrets of The Midnight. Those apparent ghosts? They are getting homicidal and some nice gore will enter the plot. Unable to figure out if Larry is a potential lover or someone to fear, Carol begins fighting unseen forces on her own armed with a revolver and her insanity. Oh yes, there will be a weird and twisted conclusion which will feature that backless, leather BDSM gown.

Could insane Carol be the malignant force causing much carnage at The Midnight? Are the ghosts merely the tortured souls of children tortured and killed by Fletcher? Would we be pulling for the bent Carol of she weren't pretty? This is a twisted and vicious tale of an insane woman and Jennifer Jason Leigh pulls off that portrayal magnificently. For some perverted carnage, some gore, and great acting see Matthew Chapman's "Heart of Midnight."

Sweet Kill, Wear a Bikini...Strip Naked...Die!

Tab Hunter is best known as a teen heartthrob from the 1950s. Even in the 1970s this blonde actor could take the breath away from any woman. Usually this blog tends to a bias for sultry babes, but today we have a feature centering on a hunk who takes his shirt off a lot. Okay...I admit, there will be dozens of bikini babes and nude women...but you gals will love Tab Hunter in 1972's "Sweet Kill."

Like many sexual-psychos, Eddie (Hunter) has mommy issues. This hunk prowls the Venice beach and babes just flock to him. Nubile bikini babes throw themselves at him...after all, it is Tab Hunter...strip off their garments and rip his clothes off. In the throes of seduction, Eddie gets violent and he will kill the beautiful Sherry (Kate McKeown) first. Eddie is a gym teacher and an all around good guy...or so people think. Sherry's beautiful roommate Lauren (Cherie Latimer) will get suspicious and start snooping...this won't go well for this beauty. We get glimpses of Eddie's backstory and he seems to have a similar upbringing to Norman Bates.

Eddie just doesn't wait for the women to come to him. He also sneaks into their rooms at night and...well...you'll see.  Lauren will try to get the police interested in Eddie but her drug problem ruins her credibility. Eddie also is a regular customer to a prostitute (Roberta Collins) who obliges him by dressing up as his mother and allowing him to strip her clothes off. Weird and awkward...but that sums up this movie. Oh yes, Eddie has a main squeeze, Barbara (Nadyne Turney). Barbara has no clue she is dating a Californian Norman Bates...can you guess how this will turn out? As the sultry California bikini babe population takes a major league hit, Eddie unwinds even more.

Will Eddie's reign of homicide ever end? Will Lauren's attempt at being an amateur private-eye prove deadly? I'm afraid the answer to that is easy. Is being murdered while naked in the shower worth the trouble if Tab Hunter is the guy in the shower with you? Directed by Curtis Hanson, "Sweet Kill" (aka "The Arousers") is not the feel good film of the 1970s. There will be no humor and the beautiful will die horribly. Fans of 1970s drive-in and exploitation fare will love this "Psycho" rip-off.