We need more Jewish horror films! For example, try this...Last Synagogue on the Left...Pray your not the chosen people! Okay...don't yell at me. A Jewish naked and tattooed skank uttered this in our film today. Oh! Right! You're offended. Well, boohoo! Let me run some names by you. Dick Miller (his last film). Sid Haig. Sarah French. P.J. Soles. Caroline Williams. Are you still offended? Today we look at 2019's "Hanukkah," directed by Eben McGarr. So grab a rabbi, a Torah, and some Manischewitz and watch what happens when a marginalized community makes a horror film. Oh...one more thing...brush up on Leviticus before watching this film, it will be quoted a lot...I'm not kidding. BTW, this film is on the free streaming service Mometu (get the app or see them on X @freemometu).
This plot is busy and ambitious. Most of it we won't touch on. Many years ago a mad rabbi (Sid Haig) turns serial killer and offs misbehaving Jews (No! He's not Hamas). Decades later, his son (Joe Knetter) takes up the role. Fast forward to misbehaving, fornicating, and lesbian Jews all going to a sinful party. Rachel (Sadie Kurtz) is a skank engaged to a black man Josh (DAandre Johnson). She ditches him and heads to party. Josh wants to obey the Torah and remains celibate until marriage...Rachel wants to f#@k. Her buddy is hot and tattooed lesbian Judy (Louise Rosealma), referred to as an Orthodyke in this film. She wants to have sex with Rachel. David (Toliver Harris) is sweet on Rachel and with Josh not there will boink Rachel. Oh! Josh! He gets sucked into dinner with Rachel's mom (P.J. Soles) thinking Rachel will be there.
Amanda (Victoria de Mare) is supposed to go to this party but after the mad rabbi axes her beau in the head, she's abducted and tortured by him. Now the mad rabbi converges on this nerd party which will see wild lesbian sex between Rachel and Judy...and straight sex between Rachel and David. One by one the mad rabbi abducts the sinful Jews, cuts off their tattoos, and tortures them to death. This film will get quite gory but Dick Miller, as an old rabbi will give a nice sermon about all of this. Oh! Cheryl (Sarah French) arrives and it looks like a catfight is brewing between her and lesbian Judy...we can only hope. Jewish babes will die so horribly and Jewish dweebs will also. So much more is going on in this film but there is no room for further description.
Ominous and at times bordering on torture porn, the struggles of the Jews may be captured in this film as a metaphor. Sick? Perhaps. Still the level of cheesecake is intense and the level of gore is also intense. Will any of the Jewish babes survive the wrath of the mad rabbi? Will Sarah French give us a nice catfight scene with the tattooed lesbian Jew? Wait...doesn't the Torah say something about that? For offensive and at times hilarious horror that will have you averting your eyes from the screen in many scenes, see "Hanukkah."
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