Delirium, Shell Shocked Vietnam Vet Shreds babes

We call it PTDS now.  Instead of sending these beset vets to insane asylums and making movies about their anti-social deeds...we give them support dogs (often at taxpayer expense).  Many of us long for the days when we used to call it "shell shock" or "battle fatigue."  Those two terms came from the first two world wars...wars we won.  Now that America loses all its wars...we call it PTSD...just an observation.  In 1979, PTSD was not yet an industry.  Thus today we look at 1979's "Delirium," directed by Peter Maris.

Charlie (Nick Panouzis) kills and murders during his stint in Vietnam.  After a Vietnamese prostitute questions his manhood, he flips out.  He'll be medically discharged, sent to an insane asylum, and escape.  Now he is recruited by Stern (Barron Winchester) top help kill rapists and murderers on the U.S. streets. Uh oh...with issues regarding his manhood, Charlie engages on his own personal vendetta...against beautiful American women.  He'll try to rape them and murder them.  He'll kill the pretty Jenny (Pat Knapko) by impaling her with a spear through a door.  Her roomie, Susan (Debi Chaney), is a babe and will give us some gratuitous bath and shower scenes.  Charlie is now on the run.  He runs...rests...meets a beautiful dame...murders her.  A never ending pattern just like U.S. wars in far off lands.

Susan is able to help police identify Charlie.  This alarms the organization that was going to hire him.  This vigilante society made up of psycho army officers has a pretty long record of kidnaping fiends who get off on technicalities and killing them. An investigation into Charlie by two great detectives, Paul (Turk Cekovsky) and Larry (Terry TenBroek), lead them to some of the group members.  With Susan's help, Larry and Paul close in on the cabal.  Now Stern orders Susan murdered.  Oh, Charlie keeps running across dames.  The army veteran uses pitchforks, drowning, or meat cleavers to off them.  Now Susan is in mortal danger, not from Charlie, but from the secret society that seeks to clean the streets of St. Louis.  yes, St. Louis was a s**t hole back in 1979, too.

Would Charlie have learned computers and to recycle instead of raping and murdering if given a support dog?  However unstable Charlie is, is he more likely to win a war for us than the current recruits entering into today's military?  Is the secret society's inability to murder a dame clad in high-heels and sundresses (or totally nude) through the entire film a good explanation as to why the U.S. can't win anymore wars?  Ms. Chaney is radiant and refreshing as the damsel in much distress who always seems to avoid being murdered.  See "Delirium," and enjoy a flick that probably appeared on drive-in screens when it came out.

Horsemen, The Apocalypse Draws Near

It's coming!  Or is it?  The final days are here!  Biblically speaking, we are in the final days.  An accurate understanding of the Bible suggests that me and you do not know when this day is.  To suggest otherwise is heresy. This speculation, however, makes great movies.  Today we have a gory one.  A taboo one.  One that will make you squirm.  Let us take a look at 2009's "Horsemen," directed by Jonas Akerlund.

Detective Breslin (Dennis Quaid) is a homicide detective.  As our film begins he is summoned to a very gory and ritualistic murder scene.  He knows that this won't be the last one.  It won't be.  These murders seem to be done by a gang.  Drugs are utilized to incapacitate the victim and the victim is kept alive to undergo unimaginable torture and disembowelment.  This is the last thing Breslin needs.  Having just lost his wife a few years back, he is struggling, and doing an awful job, at reconnecting to his two boys.  Hardly a family man, Breslin is summoned to an expensive house where a mom has been suspended on hooks and...well, see the movie, but it is disgusting!  He must then console the three children, the oldest one is the very pretty Kristin (Ziyi Zhang).

Breslin puts two and two together and gets his Bible out.  He finds a connection between the killings and Revelation 6.  The four horsemen of the apocalypse are introduced into the plot.  The question, which biblical scholars discuss, is now an important one for Breslin...who are these four horsemen?  Uh oh...the answer to this, in Breslin's world, will be shocking.  Even worse, the killings continue...and did I mention...they are sooooo gory?  Meanwhile, Breslin fails repeatedly at connecting with his two sons (Lou Taylor Pucci and Liam James). 

Just who are the four horsemen as far as Breslin's police investigation shows?  Are the horsemen really heralding an apocalypse?  Is our good detective in danger of becoming one of the victims?  Experienced horror film fans will catch where this one is going, though it will still be a shocking film.  Not the feel good film of 2009, but ominous and horrific, all the same.  See "Horsemen" and don't use this film to learn about what John penned in Revelation.   

The Blackout: Invasion Earth, Russia Invaded by Aliens and Everyone Else

8 billion people die!  Hence our film begins.  You have to admit...quite ambitious.  There just...killed.  By what and by who.  Today we have a fantastic mess from Russia.  As Russian troops, as we speak, shred maybe a thousand young Ukrainian men a day, we have a 2019 film that makes these numbers look miniscule.  In war...no one wins.  In "The Blackout: Invasion Earth," directed by Egor Baranov, this also may be true...or is it?

Our story begins in Moscow where Oleg (Aleksey Chadov) is having sweaty and imaginative pre-marital sex with the sultry Alyona (Lukerya Ilyashenko).  Durting their climaxes, the invasion occurs...8 billion dead.  Okay, I know, "orgasm" comes from a word meaning "the little death."  Oleg and Alyona must have had some kinda orgasms.  Back to the plot.  Everyone in the world is gone!  Except for a large circle encompassing parts of Russia, Belarus, The Ukraine, and Finland.  Uh oh...it is a shrinking circle.  Major Dolmitov (Konstantin Lavronenko) commands an outpost at the edge of the circle.  Any incursion outside the circle meets with disaster.  Then the invasion encroaches the circle.

Hey!  Oleg is a commando assigned to this perimeter and Alyona is a medic assigned there.  Wouldn't you know it, so is Yuriy (Pyotr Fyodorov), Oleg's best buddy and Alyona's former lover.  Eek!  Never mind that, whatever has wiped out the outside world is now attacking inside the circle.  Epic battle scenes and lots of bears will fill the screen.  The Russian army gets smaller and smaller, unlike today's war in The Ukraine.  Alyona kisses Oleg and Yuriy romances a TV reporterette (Svetlana Ivanova) as humans die faster than Zelenskyy's army.  All seems hopeless, then...well, you'll see.

The battle scenes are elongated and bloody.  Tens of thousands will be killed on screen during battle.  Then, the aliens come and it gets worse.  Does Russia stand a chance at prevailing?  Probably a better chance than Zelenskyy does.  Will the TV info-babe and Alyona engage in a catfight to see who gets to have the next orgasm?  So, what is really going on here?  Epic and ambitious, this one goes longer than two hours.  It'll leave you exhausted and ready to pick up an AK-47 and join the Russian army.  See "The Blackout: Invasion Earth" and fantasize about all your annoying neighbors getting zapped. 

Hellhounds, Werewolves Misbehaving

Sultry werewolf biker chicks!  Biker werewolves from rival gangs!  Werewolf sex!  Gore! Nudity! Nubile prisoners in bondage!  Yes!  When was the last time we had a werewolf film with all this stuff in it?  Hey, now I don't want to overstate this, but this film even has DB Cooper in it.  Today we look at 2024's "Hellhounds," directed by Robert Conway.

Mass murderer Dave (Daniel Link), who hopes to be turned into a werewolf by werewolf queen Lucella (Eva Hamilton), takes prisoners in the desert with the intention of feeding them to Lucella when she arrives.  Excuse the run-on sentence.  Lucella is a 400 year old babe who is naked a lot, covered in blood, and has just turned the hunk Kevin (Cameron Kotecki) into her mate...and Kevin is ticked.  Enter Alias (Nathaniel Burns), a werewolf biker.  He heads the Hellhounds gang, which have been all but wiped out by rival gang the Silver Bullets.  Alias has a score to settle with Lucella and Dave. Also enter Mia (Dana Kippel), a sultry bounty hunter who also has a score to settle with Dave,  Alias and Mia team up.  Mia is not a werewolf and gets an education as she gets to know Alias.

Meanwhile, Emma (Amelia Haberman) is tied up in a trailer with fellow prisoners Brandy (Anna Harr) and Tommy (Tim Sauer).  Dave plans to use them to feed Lucella when she arrives.  Meanwhile, after murdering Kevin's wife and turning Kevin, Lucella will have a bunch of werewolf sex with him.  So now we have the sides set...Lucella, Kevin, and Dave on the evil team...Alias and Mia on the good team.  Crossbows with silver arrows, guns, and fangs will abound as a bloody conclusion nears.

Spirited, deviant, and vicious...this film is a terrific werewolf tale.  Will Kevin turn against Lucella for killing his wife?  Will the sultry non-werewolf Mia allow Alias to turn her?  Just what does happen during werewolf sex?  For a terrific and action packed modern day fairy tale, see "Hellhounds."

The Mad Magician, Vincent Price, Magic and Murder

Vincent Price! One of the all-time greats!  I don't do enough of his films on my blog.  Even his lesser known films are superb.  Today we have one in which he plays a mad murderer...and we still cheer for him.  As Vincent Price portrays a fiend, us the viewer are on his side and cheering for his success. Today we look at 1954's "The Mad Magician," directed by John Brahm.

Movies about magicians are at a disadvantage.  Because of "movie magic," or nowadays CGI or other f/x, the tricks we see on the silver screen just don't cause awe and shock.  Put Vincent Price in the film and that doesn't matter.  Gallico the Magician (Price) and his nubile assistant Karen (Mary Murphy) woo an audience.  The magician has a special trick called "The Lady and the Buzz Saw" in which he'll cut off Karen's head.  Brilliant!  Too brilliant, I'm afraid.  Gallico's act and him are owned by seedy businessman Ross Ormond (Donald Randolph), who closes the curtain on the act.  Ormond takes Gallico off stage and tells him to give all his tricks to his rival, The Great Rinaldi (John Emery). Furious, Gallico strangles Ormond and creates a mask and impersonates him.  Now, as Ormond, Gallico rents a room from mystery writer Alice Prentiss (Lenita Lane).

Okay.  Gallico will continue his murders.  You can guess the slate.  Enter Eva Gabor as the mad man's ex-wife, and current wife or Ormond.  Thinking she is confronting Ormond, she is actually confronting Gallico.  Yep...poor Eva Gabor. Bad news for Gallico, his pretty assistant is dating the very handsome and bright Detective Bruce (Patrick O'Neal).  Even more bad news...Alice Prentiss has a great imagination. Every thought of hers is about homicide and then thrown into her novels.  She's suspicious.  As the walls close in around Gallico he becomes more mad...and more homicidal.  Now Detective Bruce wants to use new and modern investigative techniques...and the nubile Karen will find herself in great peril.

In getting rid of his enemies, can Gallico shake a police investigation by the lover of his assistant?  Will Alice Prentiss end up with her next great best-seller or will she end up at the end of a blade in Gallico's next magic act?  Is there a chance that Gallico will turn the tables, pull a Dr. Phibes on everyone, and escape?  This is a good one.  Not the best known Vincent Price film but true fans will want to see "The Mad Magician."   

Fear the Creature, Rubber Suited Monster Shreds Hunks and Babes

CGI be damned!  Gimme a film with a toothy rubber-suited monster! Throw in some hunks and babes...passionate pre-marital sex, gore, and a hot monster hunter (Chase Masterson) with tight leather pants on a motorcycle. Do you need to hear more?  Oh...that monster hunter is also a sultry mad scientist. Okay, today we look at 2004's "Fear the Creature" (aka "Creature Unknown"), directed by Michael Burnett.

Four years ago, during prom night, Wes died mysteriously...body never found. There is plenty of drama to that night which we won't go into. Four years later, Wes' twin brother Steve (Chris Hoffman) gets all the friends together for a reunion in a cabin in the wilderness.  Oh, by the way, two babe hikers (Erin Cahill and Laurie Shiers) were just shredded in that same wilderness.  Steve is now bonding with Wes' old GF Amanda (Maggie Grace). Also along are the bitter Rachel (Ella Bowman), who was Wes' GF when Amanda stole him away.  Add in Sean (John Keyser) and Ally (Kristin Herold), who will have passionate pre-marital sex.  Ally will also give us a gratuitous shower scene.  Uh oh...the creature, half reptile half Bigfoot, which shredded the two babe hikers, sets its sight on this group of reunion buddies.

Now, one by one...the thing strikes.  Rachel is shredded.  No surprise here, as Ms. Bowman is way down in the credits.  Uh oh...here comes the babe in leather pants and riding a motorcycle. Kat (Masterson) arrives wielding a shotgun. Her backstory is compelling.  A mad scientist that watched her son die and tried to save him with experimental treatments. It is apparent that Kat has been hunting the creature for some time.  She had built a lab in an old WW2 bunker...where she is obviously still conducting genetic experiments. Kat will feud with the buddies.  Amanda will take an immediate dislike to her...probably because Kat is hot, wears leather pants, and carries a shotgun...all a big draw to any sex-crazed hunk. The creature keeps striking.  Uh oh...we, the viewer start picking up on clues.  Is Steve really Steve, or his dead brother.  Is the monster Kat's son?  Red herrings and twists abound.

Will Kat and Amanda engage in a catfight to the death...in the mud or a tub of Jell-o...okay, forgive me...I withdraw the question.  Is the creature Kat's son?  Will there be a final battle for humanity that takes place in the old bunker?  This is a good one.  The toothy creature is neat, and the rubber suit is so refreshing.  The babe and hunk factor is so good, too.  See "Fear the Creature," and see a nostalgic effort in creature f/x.  

Blood Predator, All Out War in a Mountain Cabin

All right.  Listen closely.  Do not let the first 45 minutes of this film bias you.  Only after watching the second half of this film pass judgment.  What unfolds in the second half is a bacchanal effort of slimy and icky monsters, lesbian love scenes, heterosexual love scenes, gory kills, and bad-ass women saving the day.  For example, you will judge Sandy (Merry Simkins) early on...but you will be dead wrong.  Today we look at 2007's "Blood Predator," directed by Paul Gagne.

An airplane full of hunk and babe couples crash land in a remote mountain region near Yosemite.  The couples and one hot lesbian want to go skiing. The party makes it to an isolated cabin which shows no immediate signs of life.  Little do they know, an icky spider creature/alien has crash landed on earth and has taken up residence there.  It has already eaten a stranded skimobile guy. Okay, adventurer wannabe John (Bill Devlin) has assumed leadership over the group.  Unfortunately he doesn't know what he's doing, and his grouchy wife Sandy lets him know that any chance she gets.  The only non-coupled babe is Caren (Jackie Joyner), a hot lesbian, who will have carnal relations during the film with one of the other babes.  Of most note is ditz Barb (Rayne Aspergren), a nymphomaniac attached to rich guy Tom (Mark Irvingsen). The two will have a lot of gratuitous and deviant sex.

Okay...we'll see a lot of sex, including the aforementioned sex between two babes, and bickering.  Then they discover the monster and all-out war begins.  This slimy spider thing has humongous teeth and has a tongue that shoots out and impales.  One by one it picks off the group. Oh, by the way, don't try to figure out who will live and who will die...you won't.  This is actually good news for the nymphomaniac Barb, as now she has a chance.  Remember the b***h Sandy?  You are in for a surprise. See, Sandy has attitude.  She also has the ability to go ballistic with guns, explosives, and bear traps.  Yes!  All out war continues right up until the explosive conclusion.

Does nymphomaniac Barb have a shot at survival...that is survival that doesn't include carnal relations with the spider-monster?  Just what does Sandy have up her sleeve (or bra strap) that could put up a fight from the evil alien?  Are any of the hunks in this film of any use other than providing steamy sex with their women?  The last half of this film makes it one of the most spirited horror films of 2007.  See "Blood Predator" and be surprised by the bravery and sexual prowess by the babes in this film.