Saturday, May 11, 2024

Scream, No Drew Barrymore in This One

No...not that one.  This is the 1981 film entitled "Scream."  That Barrymore chick is not in this one, thank Heavens.  That over-rated teen "horror" film only annoys us real horror fans.  Let is examine this 1981 film which will serve as the magnum opus for Woody Strode.  He plays a cowboy in this one.  Okay, he's a cowboy who keeps telling tales of the sea. Okay, I grant it, his role in this one is fraught with confusion and ambiguity...but in defense of this film...Drew Barrymore is not in it. Now, let us look at a confusing and seemingly pointless Byron Quisenberry film...again, however much you don't want to like this movie...Drew Barrymore is not in it.

Three rafts full of tourists, none of them seem to go with anyone else in the raft, float down a river.  The two guides bring them to a ghost town where they will spend the night. I guess the zip-line excursion filled up quickly.  At the ghost town, the lovable Alvy Moore is hung by some ghost.  So sad. The killings continue.  There will be a beheading with a scythe.  Always gotta like decapitations with scythes... something so French about those.  Give this film subtitles and you'll be excited to have seen it.  One by one the tourists are killed.  We like Lou (Joe Allaine).  He's pudgy and no one else likes him.  Because we don't like any of the characters, we like Lou.  He even wears a Houston Oilers hat.  Remember Earl Campbell and Dan Pastorini?  Lou does.

The surviving characters will yell at Lou and give him cross eyes when he eats beans.  More killings.  Rudy then gets bold and gets coffee at a shack across the street.  Oh, here it comes...Woody Strode arrives on horseback with tales of sailing around the horn (...of Africa, I guess). He was a sailor for 40 years and his captain liked him.  Wave bye bye to Woody Strode...he'll leave.  Not loving this plot?  I bet if Stanley Kubrick's name were on it instead of Byron Quisenberry, you'd be heaping praise on this film as an arty plunge into our very souls. The scythe will strike again...very European, will make you feel smart for watching it.  Okay, no spoilers here.  Did I mention Woody Strode as the cowboy?

Be heartened that this horror film is very loyal to the book.  Is Woody Strode's cowboy a mirror for the duality of humankind as it plays out in this metaphysical existence we call life?  Is this film the long awaited sequel to Kubrick's "2001: A Space Odyssey"?  Is there a more fitting tribute to the Houston Oilers and all the great players that played for them, including Zeke Moore? If you do decide to watch the 1981 "Scream," you will be heartened to know that Drew Barrymore is not in this.  

     

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